General Diversity
Questions 11-20
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THE
QUESTION:
GD20: How did Mother Nature come about? Was she the subject of
some culture's mythology, or did someone simply create her in a
book?
POSTED JUNE 19, 1998
Brantley L., 34, white male
<blott@mindspring.com>,
Norcross, GA
ANSWER 1:
The Romans believed everything on earth was born from
Mother Earth and Father Time. They had children, who had children,
etc. Therefore, over the passage of time, Mother Earth has become
Mother Nature, the mother of all of us.
POSTED AUG. 9, 1998
E. Jackson, 19, OH
FURTHER NOTICE:
The idea of an Earth-Mother has existed as long as written
history and is evident in almost every culture since the Greek Gaia
or the Celtic Dana. It was a common practice among the early
spirit-worshipping peoples to asign identities to all the major
forces that affected their lives and which they did not fully
understand, such as the sun, the moon, the winds and the earth
itself. These identities ("Gods") had characteristics based on what
little they did know. The sun was most often seen as male, as its
warmth seemed to "fertilize" plants and help them grow. The earth, in
turn, as it brought forth plants, food and nourishment, was seen as
female by people who relied upon it to feed them - as they had relied
upon their own mothers when they were infants.
POSTED NOV. 21, 1998
Agrivaine
<agrivaine@yahoo.com>,
Dublin, Ireland
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD19: Am I a curmudgeon because I believe people should speak
plainly, and stop candy-coating our speech with all the Politically
Correct terms?
POSTED JUNE 1998
Ray B., 40, white male, U.S. Navy (retired)
<raynfran@bellsouth.net>
Summerville, S.C.
ANSWER 1:
There is a need for Political Correctness, but not to the
extent of hampering communication. There are ways to speak plainly
but not insultingly. It's called politeness. I think it's an
important thing. Regardless of what someone thinks of me, I would
rather they treated me politely. That gives me a chance to respond to
them politely and let them get to know me as a person. That way, if
the person has any prejudices about any group I might belong to, I
get a chance to help that person see beyond them. Knowledge is the
best remedy for prejudice, and without politeness there is no
opportunity for that knowledge.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
Laura H., 22, female, Peoria, IL
FURTHER NOTICE:
These terms were invented to protect those with fragile
egos from getting hurt. This is just an extension of "white lies."
Those people who tell the truth consistently often make more enemies
than friends. I think it's human nature to want to not be reminded of
one's shortcomings, real or not. Just try telling your
wife/girlfriend how she really looks in that dress next time she
asks.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, 26, married white female, MD
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD18: Why does is seem to be OK for TV shows to make fun of
Italians or the Irish or whomever, but that when it comes to making
fun of Jews, it becomes a huge issue?
POSTED JUNE 17, 1998
Ana B., 27, American, New Haven, CT
ANSWER 1:
If you think television is stereotyping/mocking one group
more than another, that's what you'll inevitably see. But consider a
recent episode of (I think) "Suddenly Susan" where one character lied
to his sexy new girlfriend that he was Jewish so she would date him.
He goes to her parents house and they are loud, crass, etc., the
worst kind of Jewish stereotypes imaginable. I've heard "Seinfeld"
described as a Jewish minstrel show, and who can forget "Saturday
Nighit Live" and Mike Meyers' obnoxious Linda Richman character - for
a while this was the only overtly Jewish female on television, and
she was played by a man! Also, consider Stan's Jewish parents on
"South Park" - one of the many comic stereotypes used on that show,
though I find it the least offensive since everyone gets
slammed on "South Park."
POSTED JULY 22, 1998
Jewish guy, 38, Chicago, IL
FURTHER NOTICE:
The persecution of the Jews in World War II is looked upon
by historians and the public as one of the greatest horrors in
history. With that in mind, one would not imagine reviving the spirit
of dehumanizing Jews, even in the form of simple jokes or
comments.
POSTED AUG. 1, 1998
Roy L., 16
<ThinkingStar@yahoo.com>,
Clarksville, TN
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I think there are very few ethnic groups comfortable with
having themselves ridiculed on a constant basis. As an Irishman, I am
perfectly comfortable with people taking the mickey out of my
country, accent and culture, as it can often be quite funny. But when
it becomes excessive, abusive or insensitive (such as when all
Irishmen are portrayed as drunks and wife beaters) it does begin to
annoy. The Jewish people (and I don't want to seem like I'm
pontificating here) have had a history that has been overly marred by
racism and oppression. I think they have a right to be sensitive
about the issue. When you make fun of people who do not, or cannot,
appreciate your humor, it can often seem like a very cruel and ugly
act.
POSTED AUG. 4, 1998
Agrivaine, Irish-Italian male
<agrivaine@yahoo.com>,
Dublin, Ireland
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
For the same reason it's offensive to blacks. I guess some
cultures are not as sensitive to race issues as others. I am Asian,
and I think most of the jokes about us are funny. I guess it all
depends on the person.
POSTED OCT. 9, 1998
Lisa, Seattle, WA
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
For the same reasons we can't make fun of blacks: 1) they
have a background of having many of their race killed or persecuted
due to racism; 2) racism against blacks and Jews is as strong as ever
in this country; 3) as a result of their continuing fear and
persecution, they cannot be comfortable hearing any more negativity
about their race (and who can blame them?); 4) of all the minority
groups, who do you think has the most influence on what is shown on
television? I think it is the Jewish people, due primarily to their
money and connections in the industry, and the black people, due
primarily to their sheer numbers in the United States.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, married to a Jewish man, 26, MD
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I don't think any ethnic groups is free of stereotypical
humor on television. Television, and the media in general, thrive on
accentuating stereotypes and differences because those who control
these mediums want to divide us in order to maintain their control.
Stereotypes of all groups - Irish, Italians, French, English, Blacks,
Jews, Latinos, you name the group - are constantly shown on
television. If you ask people from any of these ethnic groups, you
will find that everyone can point to something on television that is
ethnically offensive.
It's unforunately that in Calico's response these same stereotypes
are expressed. Contrary to popular belief, Jews do not control
Hollywood, and blacks, who represent an estimated 13 percent of the
U.S. population, have little if any influence as to what programs are
shown on television. Corporate sponsorship plays the biggest role in
what we see on television. It is to their advantage that
stereotypical programming continues to be shown on television. The
only way for us to stop this stereotypical programming is to speak
out against it. Not just against stereotypical programming that
affects one ethnic group, but against all the negative and divisive
programming.
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
DredScott1857, 26, black male
<madlocs1@juno.com>, New
York , NY
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
Something I've noticed is that most modern comedians laugh
at their own ethnic background, or any other thing they're a part of
(Jerry Seinfeld on Jews, Eddie Murphy on backs, Roseanna on fat
people, etc.) I think people take it harder when the joke comes from
a person who is not part of the joke's ethnic group. As a Jew, a
female, a teenager and many more things, I've never really been hurt
by anything said about one of these aspects of myself.
POSTED FEB. 2, 1999
Yael B., 14, Jewish white female
<xyz_il@yahoo.com>,
Beer-sheva, Israel
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD17: My wife and I are always asked "Why don't you have any
children?" Since we do not want children, we explain to them why not.
But they still do not understand, and think we are odd. Is this not a
rude subject to question someone on?
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
Richard and Kim H., 30, Panama City, FL
ANSWER 1:
My wife and I deal with the same question. In our case we
have both been married before. I'm 34 and my wife is 13 years older
than me. The truth is that neither of us want kids. Call it selfish,
but we are enjoying our life without kids. I have even told people we
can't have children, and with out skipping a beat it's "What about
adoption?" Some people just don't understand how you can be complete
without children. I am not on any cause or crusade, but it seems to
me that a few years back people were concerned about a population
explosion.
POSTED JULY 18, 1998
Doug, 34, Tallahassee, FL
FURTHER NOTICE:
My husband and I decided not to have children and when
anyone asks why, I simply tell them we "just don't have children" and
leave it at that. There are many reasons married couples do not have
children; infertility, physical/mental health problems, emotional
problems, financial problems, career problems, etc..
POSTED JULY 20, 1998
Karen, 39, San Diego, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
It is rude to delve into others' personal decisions unless
you have a close relationship with them (and even then, tact would be
nice). For some reason, the subject of children seems to have
different rules. People talk about how other people raise their
children, give unsolicited advice in grocery stores, rub the stomachs
of pregnant women without invitation, etc. I realize that in small
towns or neighborhoods, where everyone helps everyone out, that the
whole community (village if you will) helps raise the children. This
is not what I am talking about. For some reason, people seem puzzled
by the idea that some people choose not to have children. I cannot
think why, in this overpopulated world, anyone would want to
encourage someone to have kids if they did not want to. I think some
people are threatened by others' ability to make non-conformist
decisions, and find it easier to think such a decision must be a
cover of some sort.
POSTED JULY 24, 1998
Tara, 24, single, childless
<tarakennedy@yahoo.com>,
Washington, DC
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I agree this is an over-personal question to ask a couple.
Some friends of mine always used to respond to the question "When are
you two going to have kids?" with "Oh, after we consummate our
marriage." Which is the answer that most obviously points out the
inherent rudeness of the question.
POSTED AUG. 1, 1998
D. Sy, 32, single non-parent, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I have the same problem. I think it's because people are
brought up to believe having children is the "right" thing to do.
Religion makes it clear that it is our purpose to have children.
Those who have kids now have their entire life revolving around the
children; since it has become such a focal point in their life, they
can't help but talk "kids" to others. Our family keeps bringing it up
out of their own desires to have granchildren, not because we are
living an incomplete live without kids. I live in a neighborhood with
five other homeowners, all of whom have kids. One of them had the
nerve to ask me at the last civic association meeting when I was
going to get around to it. When I look at people with kids, all I see
is two (or more commonly today one) parent(s) sacrificing their
freedom to have these kids. Then they complain "We're broke all the
time," "We can't go out any more, it's too hard to find a sitter,"
"We don't spend any time alone together any more," or "We're so
stressed and overworked trying to make enough money to give our kids
what they need (they don't really need a new toy every week, do
they?)" Maybe someday we'll decide to do it, but in the meantime I am
enjoying life too much.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, 26, married white female, MD
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD16: What is the real meaning of the word "schmuck"? I've
heard it just means "idiot," and then I've heard it means something
really, really bad.
POSTED JUNE 15, 1998
K.B., 28, Los Angeles, CA
ANSWER 1:
As far as I know, schmuck is a Yiddish word that means
"large penis." Putz, on the other hand, means "little penis." I once
asked my grandmother (a longtime speaker of Yiddish) if this was
true, but getting an 80-plus-year-old Jewish woman to use the word
penis can be difficult. She did smile and blush and refuse to answer,
however, so I assumed if I wasn't exactly right, it was close
enough.
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
Mark B., Jew.
<bakum@bigfoot.com>, San
Francisco, CA
FURTHER NOTICE:
A schmuck is literally a penis. A putz is the tip of the
penis. Schmuck has come to mean "idiot" and putz a "total idiot."
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
A.B., 40, Jewish, Baltimore, MD
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
It's Yiddish and means "penis." It derives from a German
word meaning "ornament" or "jewelry" (Jews were very ironic when it
came to language). Like the English word "prick," it soon became an
insulting word to use for a person.
POSTED JUNE 27, 1998
John, Jewish background, Chicago, IL
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
"Schmuck" actually means "jewelry" in Yiddish. From that,
it came to mean "family jewels."
POSTED JUNE 27, 1998
Ilya, 22, Eastern European
<ishambat@us.oracle.com>,
Redwood Shores, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
It is a Yiddish word that means "foreskin." The foreskin
is removed by circumcision and is viewed as " unclean." By extension,
schmuck means worthless, or useless.
POSTED JULY 1, 1998
St. Wishnevsky
<wish@nr.infi.net>,
Wnston-Salem, NC
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
According to The Joys of Yiddish, "schmuck" can
refer to the penis ("the family jewels"), and by inference, an idiot.
In German, "schmuck" means decoration (hence "the family jewels"
above). Knowing both the German and Yiddish usages can lead to
interesting thought-pictures when someone says, "Weinachtenschmucken"
- Christmas decorations! (Beware - "shikse," the Yiddish word for a
female Gentile, means prostitute in German. Don't call a
German-speaking woman this. Can you imagine the amount of trouble
this has caused?)
POSTED SEPT. 5, 1998
J.D. 46, "shikse" from Miami, TX
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD15: Why does it seem that the majority of smokers throw
their cigarette butts out of their car windows as opposed to using
their ash tray?
POSTED JUNE 13, 1998
Jill Z., Sparks, NV
ANSWER 1:
As a former smoker, I have to say it would be simple
thoughtlessness. The average smoker doesn't even use the ashtray in
their car. When most people smoke in their cars, they open the window
for ventilation. It is just easier to throw ashes out the window,
too.
POSTED JUNE 26, 1998
Hilary, 20, white
<hwisler@eagle.cc.ukans.edu>,
Lawrence, KS
FURTHER NOTICE:
Let's face it, smoking isn't the cleanest habit. And why
dirty up one's car with cigarette butts? Besides, it's too hard to
drive and put out a cigarette, anyway. Maybe they care about the
cleanliness of the world around them about as much as they care about
the cleanliness of their own bodies. Sorry to sound so hostile, but I
cannot think of any other explanation.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, non-smoker, MD
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD14: Why is it that many people with
children seem oblivious to the rights of the rest of us - from not
quieting their kids on planes and in movie theaters to demanding
censorship in the media?
POSTED JUNE 8, 1998
Emma, Los Angeles, CA
ANSWER 1:
As a parent who avidly opposes ratings and doesn't take her
children to movie theaters, I'm probably not in your category.
However, I'll take my kids on a plane, and while I actively try to
keep them occupied and "pleasant," I expect them to be, well,
children. I expect babies to cry and kindergartners to be loud. Why
don't people, in general, respect children as if they were real
people?
POSTED JUNE 9, 1998
Donna, Austin, TX
FURTHER NOTICE:
The inability to keep children quiet in certain places, in
my experience, stems from either insanity or incompetence. Insanity,
in that I erred in bringing kids to a place where their short
attention spans would result in social disaster, or incompetence, in
that in some situations I simply wasn't able to provide what they
needed. I can't speak for parents who demand censorship; I'm not one
of those. I guess I'm not sure there's a "right"' to quiet plane
flights or a "right" to a noisy-child-free environment, but to the
extent that you desire one, I'd encourage you to speak - with as much
understanding of the situation as possible - to the parent of the
kids bothering you. Sometimes, parents can use the desires of others
to regain control of a situation. I guess I'd also encourage people
to think of children less as nuisances and more as fellow human
beings, who are smarter and more perceptive than you might think.
POSTED JUNE 9, 1998
Andrew S., 34, parent of two kids, ages 3 and 1
<ziptron@hotmail.com>,
Huntington, NY
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
It wasn't until I had kids that I really noticed how
insensitive our society is to the whole idea of common courtesy. My
wife and I try to raise our kids to be respectful and polite, and by
all accounts, we do a pretty good job. We don't take our kids where
they don't belong because it's a tremendous stress on them, and we
expect that in certain places, kids will be exposed to things we
don't want them to be exposed to yet. You haven't lived until you sit
down in a family restaurant only to hear some jerk three tables over
loudly describe last night's sexual conquest in terms that would make
a longshoreman blush, or suddenly hear a rap song on the P.A. that's
so blue you want to crawl under the table. And to top it off, it
seems it's everybody's "right" to be offensive. Everyone also seems
to believe that kids are little robots with switches to turn off bad
behavior. My kids, as wonderful as they are, have their moments. And
no matter how hard we try, they just can't help but create a mess.
Sorry. Everyone claims they want our future generations to grow up
healthy and well-adjusted, but society makes it very difficult to do.
Sorry your rights are violated, but we're doing the best we can.
POSTED JUNE 10, 1998
Peter P., two kids, 3 and 8
<PPROUT20@aol.com>,
Redford, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
There are some things you learn only through parenthood,
and one of them is that the crying and screaming of children on
airplanes has very little to do with anyone being inconsiderate of
other passengers. Changing cabin pressures, particularly during the
first 20 minutes of lift-off and last 20 minutes of descending, cause
severe inner-ear pains in many children - something I did not learn
until recently when I took my three-year-old for a three-hour flight.
Such situations, for many parents, are unavoidable. Having remained
single until I was 36, I fully understand the annoyance of having a
fine dining experience interrupted by unruly kids. So, I do not take
my child into a posh French restaurant, nor do I take her to a movie
not geared toward toddlers. And I do not expect society to censor
anything for my child. But kids are going to be kids, and if humanity
intends to perpetuate the species, we all must tolerate them.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
B.T.M., 40, NJ
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Just as there are people who shouldn't have pets, there
are people who shouldn't have kids. As a parent, I wouldn't dream of
taking my three-year-old to a movie other than a children's movie,
where the audience should be made up of parents and children who
understand the restlessness of youngsters. As far as censorship, I'm
against it, but there is a certain amount of common sense required to
live in a civilized society. I think it will become a non-issue as
soon as everyone realizes they are not the only beings on the
planet.
POSTED JUNE 26, 1998
Dennis O., 23
<Musicpants@angelfire.com>,
Elmira, NY
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Toddlers travel on airplanes because their grandparents
love to get their hands on them and shower them with kisses and
praise. Unfortunately, they are high-energy creatures who loathe
confinement. And they feel very uninhibited about expressing how they
feel about a situation. It takes a lot of effort to keep toddlers
entertained for six hours in an area the size of a box.
POSTED JUNE 28, 1998
Mike M., 37
<amigan@ihot.com> San
Mateo, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I am amazed sometimes at some parents who don't creatively
try to quiet or entertain their children in certain situations. As a
father of two, I definitely pick and choose the locations I take my
children, simply because some people are so insensitive to kids'
behaviors. But don't get me wrong, I got a parcel of time the other
day and went to see The Truman Show, and I was floored at how
many young couples with a single child there were in that theater
allowing their children to mess up my moviegoing experience! They
pushed it way further than I would have. We do have very high
expectations of our children, and expose them to long periods of
quiet time - our church service is three hours long. So we challenge,
and teach our children with experiences that help them in other
social situations. If parents lead a life free of boundaries, their
children learn the same behaviors. They will grow up to be louder,
more demanding and less caring, in my opinion.
POSTED JUNE 30, 1998
S. Lee, father of two kids, Denver, CO
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
If a child is throwing a temper tantrum, it it too much to
ask that the parent take the child out of the room until the
situation can be handled? Try putting the shoe on the other foot: If
an adult were sitting a few tables down and screaming at the top of
his or her lungs, would you not ask him or her to be removed from the
room? Out of respect for other patrons, please remove your child when
he is crying.
POSTED OCT. 30, 1998
R.Y., 37, white male, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
In response to Peter P., I would like to point out that
having and raising children is a privilege, as I am sure this father
knows. I agree that people should certainly take into consideration
the company they're in when speaking in a loud conversational tone,
and that music should be selected to please a wide range of people,
including children, in public places. However, you knew the nature of
society when you chose to have children, and you chose to have them
anyway. Many of the things parents complain about are things in which
they engaged before they had children. I think that is the real
question here - why do people with kids expect all of society to
revise their moral code around their children? Children are real
people, yes, but they're a minority and a temporary portion of the
population. Democracy dictates that the majority be served - most of
our country is adult, and the public forum is therefore laden with
adult content. Your children are your responsibility, not
society's.
POSTED NOV. 16, 1998
D.M.M., white, female, single, 28, no kids
<donikam@hotmail.com>,
Charleston, SC
FURTHER NOTICE 9:
The reality is that kids have to go places. You can't keep
them locked up until they're 12. Yes, children do have shorter
attention spans and are immature. That is what being a kid is all
about. I remember absolutely hating the grocery store, but I was six
and my mother couldn't leave me home alone. Most parents do the best
job they can while keeping their own sanity. They have enough to
worry about with training their children than to have to worry about
overly sensitive bystanders. (FYI I do not have children of my own,
but I do have four nephews.)
POSTED NOV. 16, 1998
M.A.M., 25, Atlanta , GA
FURTHER NOTICE 10:
People who have kids do it because they believe they are
doing a wonderful thing not only for themselves, but for the world
around them. They feel anyone who does not agree with them on the
wonderful qualities of kids doesn't know how to live with others.
Some parents are so accustomed to the whining and crying their kids
make that they think it's normal. Unfortunately, they will never
learn that it simply is not normal or acceptable; trying to talk to
them simply invokes defensive anger.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, 26, married white female, MD
FURTHER NOTICE 11:
It is exactly because of people (obviously childless
themselves) who are so terribly judgmental of what parents do in
society when with their children that we often prefer to stay home
than cope with the stress of what "other people" think. Children are
exactly that. Like us, they have their moments, but not being old
enough to understand our self-imposed "rules" of society, they do not
always reserve their "impolite" questions or tantrums for a more
private place. If your child is being naughty and you don't smack
them, you have people muttering "that child should be smacked." If
you smack your child, people shake their heads with disapproval. We
can't win. Either ignore behavior you don't like or move away, but
please don't criticize. The majority of us are wishing the ground
would open up as it is!
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
Tiffany B., 33, mother of four
<Burbunch@bigpond.com>,
Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD13: Why is it that many Americans are obsessed with labels?
They are very inventive about avoiding saying something out loud. I
mean, the musical Tommy didn't tell about a "hearing-impaired,
speech-impaired, visually challenged Caucasian minor."
POSTED MAY 14, 1998
D. v.Kooten, 25, white heterosexual male
<ktulu@flash.a2000.nl>,
Purmerend, NH
ANSWER 1:
To me, deaf, dumb and blind tend to be terms implying
totality, while hearing/speech/visually impaired would include those
who are partially deaf, wear hearing aids, stutter, wear strong
glasses, etc., a larger, more inclusive group. Words based on visual
cues tend to be subjective and may vary with the observer: White,
boy, fat, bald, etc. "Minor" generally means someone under the legal
age for some activity, whereas "boy" generally means young male (how
old before he might be insulted and considered himself a young adult
is again subjective).
POSTED MAY 17, 1998
DykeOnByke, flirting-impaired lesbian
<DykeOnByke@aol.com>,
Southfield, MI
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD12: Is it possible for a 37-year-old man who has served half
his life in a penitentiary and is now being released to live a
productive life? What would it take on an emotional and spiritual
level to take him through the transitional phase?
POSTED MAY 12, 1998
Mary R <Rukz2@glade.net>,
Teague, TX
ANSWER 1:
I have a friend who spent 12 years in prison (from 18 to
30 years of age.) Upon release, he never wanted to return to jail,
got a menial job and is now a respected member of our town.
POSTED JUNE 9, 1998
Jen S., jscott@access.aic-fl.com, Argyle, FL
FURTHER NOTICE:
A lot depends on why he was in the penitentiary. Also,
what was his upbringing like? Did he grow up in a severely
dysfunctional family? Or only a normally dysfunctional family? What
education level does he have? What has he done for himself while in
the pen? Does he have any chemical dependency problems? Is he a
spiritual being? Yes, a person can become a productive member of
society, but you haven't given us enough information.
POSTED JUNE 15, 1998
M.C.T., 38,white, Long Beach, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Yes, you can live a productive life again. I am a
20-year-old female who has just spent the last two years of my life
in and out of jail. The longest time I did was eight months. Although
that does not compare to the time this man did I can empathize with
the things he is going through. Remember that anything is possible
through God and that it's not over till it's over. I am now back in
school at Dekalb Tech in Georgia. I take GED classes during the day
and work a very good job in the evenings and on weekends. A person
who's been in jail should try to surround himself or herself with
positive people who also want something out of life. Trust me, I had
to learn that the hard way. Right now I am sure it seems to this man
as if society is not that accepting, but please, he should not give
up. Keep trying!
POSTED OCT. 30, 1998
Kamilah J., 20, black female
<kamilahjj@hotmail>,
Jonesboro, GA
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
To Jen S.: I'm concerned that your response may imply that
the only option is a menial job. Nathan McCall came up through "the
hood" and did Federal time for armed robbery. When he got out, he
went through college, and at last word was a reporter for The
Washington Post and had written a book about his experiences
(Makes Me Wanna Holler). Perhaps one's hope for a successful
life after prison depends on ability, drive, endurance and support
systems, as well as luck.
POSTED JAN. 6, 1999
Al, 59, male
<alarose@ncwc.edu>, Rocky
Mount, NC
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THE QUESTION:
GD11: It seems to me that the great majority of humor depends
on someone's misfortune. Jokes seem to be, without exceptions I know
of, in need of a "fall guy." Is there a sociological history for
this, or is it just a way to show relief at not being the poor
unfortunate who slips on the banana peel?
POSTED MAY 12, 1998
Jim R.
<junkyard@northweb.com>,
Waddington, NY
ANSWER 1:
Laughter is supposed to serve several purposes, including
relieving stress and communicating those feelings to other people. I
guess picking on someone is just an easy way to create those stresses
needed to make you laugh, such as fear or embarrassment. There are
many many other types of jokes/humor. I often like bizarre and silly
humor, for example '"Monty Python." I also find sarcasm funny,
sometimes aimed at a fall-guy and sometimes not (for example
"Frasier" and "Friends." I guess somehow these must create stresses
in me that I release by laughing. However, it must be deep in my
subconscious because I don't feel stressed!
POSTED MAY 15, 1998
Beth, Edinburgh, United Kingdom
FURTHER NOTICE:
Mark Twain said that pain is the true source of all humor.
In children's humor (i.e. the Home Alone movies) it is
generally the villain who is the victim of the pain: In those cases I
believe the humor comes from the sense of power the children feel, in
seeing a child able to fight and resist the all-powerful forces of
adulthood. In more mature humor it is usually the heroes who suffer,
like Charlie Chaplin or Charlie Brown ... people with whom we
empathize because the same pain has happened, or could happen, to us.
The clown suffers our pain for us and shows us the ridiculous side of
it, which we can't see for ourselves when we are suffering. That is
humor.
POSTED MAY 17, 1998
Colette (cartoonist)
<inkwolf@earthlink.net>,
Seymour, WI
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
The closest thing to humor in the animal kingdom is the
"laughter" of tree monkeys when another monkey falls. The
consequences of such a fall are usually quite dire for the falling
monkey. This kind of humor is probably an amalgam of the recognition
of risks inherent in living, the relief that you yourself have not
been affected by these threats and the emotional context of the whole
situation, which demands some emotional response.
POSTED JUNE 26, 1998
Donnette
Los Angeles , CA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
We laugh at what we fear to make our fear smaller and
somehow more tolerable. We laugh at things we find painful or sad so
that we can cope with our pain or sorrow. We laugh at the pratfalls
and foolishness of others, because we recognize our own fallibility.
We laugh because sometimes it is better to laugh than it is to cry or
feel despair over our all-too-frequent inhumanity. We laugh because
we are human.
POSTED SEPT. 1, 1998
Colleen, 51, Canadian female
<micospen@uniserve.com>,
Quesnel, British Columbia
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I suspect it goes far deeper than that. There is a useful
concept I have employed a number of times when "theorizing" on humor
with friends and the like, and that concept is of "The Humor Box."
When something is inside The Humor Box, no matter what it is, it can
be funny - as long as it is contained in this reality-divorced little
space, absolutely anything can be funny (not necessarily
is funny, mind you - but can be funny). Many people
have reported to me a distinct resonance with this concept, but they
had never conceived of it in such a way. The notion that the humor
concept in question does not harm or otherwise touch anybody in the
real world is what makes for the ability to place anything into the
box. This is what underlies certain types of really out-there "gross"
humor. There's a lot more to be said, but space is tight so let's
just say: Humor is a "Very Large Subject." Unfortunately researchers
tend not to get (or even ask for) grants to study this subject closer
(being wrongly assessed as "frivolous"), so we will have to continue
theorizing on it for the time being.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
R. M. <cgi@cpeq.com>,
Brandon, FL
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