Race/Ethnicity
Questions 491-500
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THE
QUESTION:
R500: Why don't immigrants share the same interest in learning
English and American customs as their fellow countrymen did when
immigrating to the United States years ago? Becoming "American"
doesn't mean forgetting about your heritage, but shouldn't it mean
learning and participating in our culture, learning our language and
learning our value systems? Or do many people now come here simply to
work, with no intention of "becoming American?"
POSTED OCT. 26, 1998
Robert A., gay male, Swedish ancestry, Houston, TX
ANSWER 1:
What do you mean by "American customs?" When was English
declared the official language of the United States? I do know that
in some parts of America (Puerto Rico), Spanish is the official
language, with English also taught. I am in the military, and having
lived all over the United States, I still wonder what U.S. customs
are. From New York to L.A. the language (slang) changes, along with
other behaviors. I was just an American while living overseas. When I
returned to the United States (to serve in the military), I was told
I was now a Puerto Rican. This by virtue of the fact that that was
where my grandfather was born! The only American custom I can see is
one of "Everyone must confrom to my belief system and talk to
me in the language I know!" Many Americans take this attitude with
them when they go to other countries. This I have seen firsthand. As
a U.S. citizen and member of the nation's armed forces, I have to say
that America is no longer the "melting pot" people once fantasized
about. We are a salad bowl, and with each unique part we grow better.
No one has to lose their identity to be a part of this nation. You
state that you are gay. I have heard many people state that gays
should change their "preference" to fit in. Can you change who you
are just because others disagree with what you are?
POSTED OCT. 29, 1998
Frank, 31, white Anglo-Hispanic Pagan
<gonzalez1@hauns.com>,
Alamogordo, NM
FURTHER NOTICE:
When you say that previous immigrants were eager to learn
to be American, you are making a very unfounded assumption.
Wisconsin had huge German-speaking communities well into this
century - until the time of World War I, when they were compelled by
increasing discrimination and federal interference to become "Real
Americans." (The government threatened to withdraw all funding from
any school that taught in German - sound familiar?)
This country was always divided into communities of Polish,
Italians, Belgians, Chinese, etc., who lived near each other to be in
a linguistically and culturally familiar area - until vandalism,
violence and threats from "Real Americans" forced them to conform. In
the past, as in the present, people like the Cajuns and Native
Americans have been attacked, beaten, regulated and even killed for
not speaking English or not being "Real Americans." In my opinion,
it's a holdover from the English heritage of our early government -
the reason Gaelic is a dead language is that when the English took
over Ireland, they forced the Irish to speak English only.
The only immigrants I've met or heard of who were actually
enthusiastic about becoming more "American" are children (who want to
be like their peers more than anything else) and refugees from
oppressive regimes, who lived in enough insecurity, poverty, and
danger that America really seems like a land of freedom and
plenty.
POSTED OCT. 29, 1998
Colette
<inkwolf@earthlink.net>,
Seymour, WI
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I think all immigrants try to learn English. Many, like my
Filipina wife, knew English before coming here and speak it better,
without any slang, than most Americans. In fact, the challenge is to
try to hold onto the language in the face of great pressure to
abandon it by many who consider it "un-American." If you look in the
past, the pressure to make immigrants lose their language was
suspiscion of the "foreignness" of Eastern and Southern Europeans.
The Pledge of Allegiance was invented around 1900 to instill loyalty
in immigrant schoolchildren. Some of the same hostility is still
around today. We intend to teach our children Tagalog and Spanish as
well as English. The trick is to have each parent speak in only one
language to the child until they are 5 or 6 years old. My parents
will speak to their grandchildren only in Spanish. I urge other
parents to do the same and hold onto their heritage in the face of
pressure to "Americanize."
POSTED OCT. 30, 1998
A.C.C., Mexican and American Indian, San Antonio, TX
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R499: In a recent Philadelphia case, a white woman was
sentenced to five years in jail for "alerting" her white neighbors
that a black family was moving in. She did not participate in
vandalism or violence against them, yet she received a more severe
sentence than some of those who did. Do you agree with the judge? Why
or why not?
POSTED OCT. 23, 1998
Linda F., 47, white female, Bristol PA
ANSWER 1:
I'd like to know more about the facts of the case. Did she
incite or encourage others to do this vandalism or violence? If so,
she's criminally liable. Charles Manson never lifted a finger against
the people he was convicted of killing, but he gave the order.
POSTED OCT. 26 1998
Andrew, 34, white
<ziptron@xoommail>,
Huntington, NY
FURTHER NOTICE:
Without knowing more of the details of the case, it's hard
to say. If she "alerted" her neighbors so that they could plan how to
get them out, harrass or threaten, or even "keep an eye on them," she
is guilty of conspiring to commit hate crimes. If she was just
complaining in a bigoted way, she is an immoral racist, but she
should not go to jail.
POSTED OCT. 26 1998
A.C.C., Mexican and American Indian, San Antonio, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I'm certain this same white woman wouldn't feel the need
to "alert" her neighbors when a white family was moving in the
building. Other than being a racist, why would anyone feel the need
to do such a thing? So yes, I agree with the judge wholeheartedly
because racism has to stop and somebody has to be made an
example.
POSTED OCT. 26 1998
Janet, African-American female, 33
<jbutler@commoncause.com>,
Capitol Heights, Md
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
No, I do not agree with the sentence. The First Amendment
of our Constitution protects our right to free speech. If all the
woman did was mention to her neighbors that the new people moving in
were of a different race, that seems pretty harmless to me. Just
about anyone (of any race) would have mentioned this in casual
conversation if the subject came up. Even if her intentions were not
innocent, I do not think the penalty for her actions should have been
more harsh than for someone who vandalized or physically injured
someone. The prisons are already crowded enough with hardened
criminals. I worked in a prison, so I know.
POSTED OCT. 26 1998
Michell, 31, Panama City, FL
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Unless one knew all the facts, it would be foolish to
voice an opinion on the judge's ruling. However, language is a funny
thing, and what you call "alerting" might be termed "inciting to
riot" by someone with a different point of view. Personally, after
having moved into an all-white neighborhood and experiencing the
hatred my children had to endure from some of our bigoted neighbors,
I find it hard to sympathize with vandals, "alerters" or racists of
any stripe.
POSTED OCT. 26 1998
S.F., black male
<sfinley@wans.net>,
Naperville, IL
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I guess I'd have to know a little more about the case, but
from what you've said I would definitely appeal the case. As far as I
know, the First Amendment still protects free speech, and if it can
be used to defend the KKK and the Nation of Islam, then I don't see
why it wouldn't apply here. I would guess this was a case in whichi
justice was swayed by political action groups. Either way, five years
is a long time for that when a lot of murderers get only 15 to
20.
POSTED OCT. 26 1998
B., 23, straight white male, Kokomo, IN
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
No, I do not agree. You cannot punish somebody for their
personal feelings or prejudices. However, once those feelings lead to
actions, then there is a basis for punishment. If the woman did
nothing more than speak her mind, then how can she be punished for
it? From your description, she did not provoke violence, so I would
have to assume she did not incite a riot. If the community did not
agree with her words (and I would hope that they would not agree),
then they could have easily ignored them.
POSTED OCT. 26 1998
John K., straight Irish-American male, 25
<the-macs@geocities.com>,
Cranford, NJ
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
I agree with the judge, because she fueled the
hysteria.
POSTED OCT. 26 1998
A.A.W., 42, black female
<ANABWI@aol.com>,
Plantation, FL
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
A hundred bucks says there is more to the story. A lot
more. It's been my experience that rumors, scare-stories and the like
generally use certain facts about a story but conveniently omit other
pertinent facts in order to support a viewpoint. In this instance the
viewpoint that "whites" are somehow being "bound and gagged" by the
court system, somehow allowing "minorities" to "take over." An
interview with some of the participants in the trial, or more careful
reading of the reports in the media about the trial should reveal
some interesting "additional" facts explaining the outcome.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
Herb W. 45, white male
<HWMPG@aol.com>, Seattle,
Wa
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R498: I have read several anthropological references to people
of East Indian descent being considered "white" and even "Aryan." I'm
curious about this because my wife is Madras Indian and is not
fair-skinned. What are the real roots of "Aryan" people, who we
always thought were fair-skinned and blonde and of Germanic or
Scandanavian descent?
POSTED OCT. 23, 1998
Steve S., 48, white
<shepard@earthling.net>,
Seattle, WA
ANSWER 1:
I'm not sure about the correct time frame here, but a
pretty long time ago (on the order of 100,000 years), a people then
living in the north of India and in parts of today's Iran migrated to
Europe. There they mingled with the locals to form today's
Caucasian/"white race." Since then there have been so many different
groups of people and ethnicities moving all over Europe that it is
kind of ridiculous to consider it a race, anyway. All that really is
left of the Aryan people is the name, which in recent history has
been most prominently abused and still is abused by nationalists,
so-called patriots and racists as meaning of Germanic/Anglo-Saxon
descent (whatever that is), etc.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
Rob, 28, German, gay
<rob_ma@hotmail.com>,
Austin, TX
FURTHER NOTICE:
I have to disagree with Rob about the nature of migration
to/from India. First, the term "Aryan" has been in use in India even
before it was coined in Europe by the Nazis in the 1930s (e.g.Arya
Samaj, an organization for popularizing Vedic teachings, was
established in the mid-Nineteenth Century). The Nazis also had no
clear-cut definition for the term "Aryan" as an ethnic group. For
example, the Persians were considered Aryans though they have little
of the Germanic features the Nazis idealized.
In the Indian context, it is believed that the white nomadic races
from the Caucus mountains and Caspian sea areas migrated to India,
starting around 5000 B.C. They entered India through the mountain
passes in the Northwestern Himalayas. These people were herders and
found the fertile plain between Indus and the Ganges rivers suitable
to make a living and settled in that area. These migrants are
considered the original "Aryans" by Indians. By the time the Hindu
Vedas were composed between 1500 - 1000 B.C., these migrants became
"natives" of India. They mixed with the non-white inhabitants to
produce the present Indians with brown skin color. The Hindu
religious beliefs and the Sanskrit language were thought to be
contributions of the Aryan race.
The original inhabitants of India are believed to be Dravidians,
though you will be hard-pressed to find a "pure" Aryan or Dravidian
in present-day India. With the Aryan invasion from the north and
subsequent mixing with the local inhabitants, a gradation in the
nature of mixing can be seen with geography. People in northern India
have more Aryan features (tall, angular features, light skin,
straight hair) and those in the south have more Dravidian features
(dark skin, curly hair, shorter stature). Thus, the population in the
southern states of Tamil Nadu, Kerala, Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh
have more Dravidian features than people from the northern states. In
rural Tamil Nadu or Andhra Pradesh, you can find people whose skin
color is as black as those from Congo or west Africa. The hill tribes
of southern India, who might have been isolated from the rest of the
population and thus had minimal mixing with other races, can be
considered more Dravidian than other Indians. These people resemble
the aborigines of Australia.
The Aryans are thought to have introduced the caste system in
India with which they hoped to retain the privileges of those who had
white (or whiter) skin color. The most fair-skinned people were
Brahmins and designated themselves the uppermost caste. They were
also at the top of the social pecking order (priests). At the bottom
were people with black skin, who became the serfs. They were
considered untouchables. This designation might be an attempt to
preserve the whiteness of the upper castes. However, there was mixing
of races to produce people with intermediate skin color, who became
farmers and soldiers.
The more recent history of South Africa in its race relations is a
good example to compare for understanding the caste system in India.
Due to historical discrimination, people belonging to the lower
castes had less educational opportunities, and thus most of the
recent professional emigrants from India are likely to come from
upper castes. Madras (Chennai) is the capital of the state of Tamil
Nadu and majority of Tamils take pride in their Dravidian roots. The
Tamil language is the only modern Indian language that is not derived
from Sanskrit. If your wife is not a Brahmin and her ancestors came
from Tamil Nadu, she will be more of a Dravidian and less an Aryan.
Obviously, this Aryan has only a very remote link (if any) to a
Germanic Aryan that most people think of, when using the term
"Aryan."
POSTED JAN. 20, 1999
S.M., 37, Indian
<palakkadan@hotmail.com>,
Baltimore, MD
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R497: I am from the Republic of Cyprus, an island in the
Mediterranean sea. We have very few blacks here; most come to play
sports or work for the United Nations. I like America and want to
study at a university there. I have a friend from Virginia who is
originally from Cyprus. One summer when he was here and we met, I was
wearing baggy shorts and a Nike T-shirt with Michael Jordan on it
(showing only his face). He told me: "If you dress like that in
America, people would say you are a whigger." It didn't bother
me,because even my dad says I look like I'm black (big nose,
extremely curly hair and with a room filled with black basketball
players' posters). My question is, Do people in America actually use
this label "whigger," and what are whites' and blacks' opinions of
people who use it? Is there a label for everyone in America? I
thought racism was almost non-existent there. I know now that it is
not.
POSTED OCT. 22, 1998
Mike, 18, white male, Republic of Cyprus
ANSWER 1:
Yes, the word "whigger" is used a lot here in America. And
to those who don't know, it is a racist word. The word means "white
nigger." I know a lot of people who are not racist who say it just
because they never thought about what it means. Blacks and whites use
it. But I think the term people should use is "wanna-be-gangsta."
POSTED OCT. 23, 1998
J. Bennett, 21, Jacksonville, FL
FURTHER NOTICE:
Sorry Mike, racism is alive and well in the good old
U.S.A.. If whigger is the most offensive term you've heard so far, be
prepared for an education in intolerance. Many of the foreigners I've
met express amazement at the level of racism here, and your best bet
is to not let it infect your thought process.
POSTED OCT. 23, 1998
S.F., black male
<sfinley@wans.net>,
Naperville, IL
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I have a daughter in high school (urban setting - very
diverse student body), and the students of all racial backgrounds use
the term "wigger" - usually, unfortunately, as an insult from all
sides. There is an interesting article on the use and origins of this
term in the current issue of Spin magazine (the band Korn is
on the cover). The African-American students often use the term
derisively to condemn a non-black student who they see as trying to
act black, and many non-black kids also use it to condemn a white
student who is trying to be black (i.e. in dress, style of music
he/she likes, who they are dating, etc.).
POSTED OCT. 23, 1998
A mom, white female, WI
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R496: When I lived in America from age 9 to 14, I was the only
white girl in my class and, being exposed to African-American culture
through my friends and teachers, I imitated them in speech and
gestures. I moved at 14 to Japan, where there are few black people.
Now that I'm 20 and in Vancouver, Canada, where I can interact with
people of African descent, I really don't know how to. Whenever I
notice myself talking and acting like I learned to in America (i.e.
African American), I feel embarrassed. I want to know if black people
are offended if a white person speaks or acts as if part of
African-American culture?
POSTED OCT. 22, 1998
A. Goode, 20, white female, deaf,
<jgoode@ns.pic-internet.or.jp>,
Vancouver, Canada
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R495: Why is it that rich and popular black men often date and
marry lower- or middle-class white women, but you never see rich
white men with lower- or middle-class black women?
POSTED OCT. 20, 1998
Jerry, 29, African-American male, Jacksonville, FL
ANSWER 1:
The statement made in the above question seems to be true
in most of cases, but not always. I am from India, considered to be a
land of black people, and in many ways I had to experience such color
discrimination. It is a fact that white people with their advanced
science and technology dominated the world (or at least a large part
of it), and in the process, the lands of black people, in the past.
The black community, in a sense, has become the symbol of tortured
and looked-down-upon people. A common tendency in humans is not to be
dominated, or more appropriately, to be the master. This world is
still a male-dominated place, irrespective of the masks of gender
equality that we use. So in a sense, marrying a white girl means
mastering over a member from the "superior" community, however
childish that sounds. It does not help eliminate color discrimination
but adds some fuel to it. I hope such acts of immaturity will boil
down with the passage of time.
POSTED OCT. 22, 1998
T. Ghosh, 26, male Indian
<tgosh@mindware.soft.net>,
India
FURTHER NOTICE:
The white community is seen as a status of achievement and
success by some blacks. It is also seen as acceptance from white
society by some blacks. Athletes, actors, etc. marry white women as
their symbol of ultimate success and acceptance to white society. You
do not see white men marrying black women because it is looked down
upon by white society; it is not a status symbol of achievement.
POSTED OCT. 26, 1998
18, African-American woman
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Black men who date white women do not assent to the tenets
of others. They have their own thoughts. Why would they need the
thoughts of others to dictate their actions? They are "mental
individuals" in the purest sense. I believe white men do desire black
women, but do not usually date them for socioeconomic reasons. His
social life can affect his boss's view of him, which in turn can
affect his positioning on the corporate ladder. Therefore, even if he
wants that beautiful black woman for his wife, he will usually end up
marrying a white one.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
Alonzo C., 32, African American, Jacksonville, FL
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
White men do date black women. They also marry them. I was
married to a white man for seven years. We got divorced for reasons
not related to race. There is a segment of the population where this
practice is prevalent. When I was married, somehow we found
(attracted?) a number of couples in this same combination. Also, if
you check out the dating pages in your local paper, there are a
number of adds by white males looking for black women only. I have no
theories on why this is. Maybe they are looking for someone
different?
POSTED NOV. 3, 1998
Susan, black female, Boston, MA
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R494: I would like to know people's perceptions about why
Asian men in general, and Chinese men in particular, are seen as
unattractive as mates.
POSTED OCT. 20, 1998
Joe C., Chinese, Fremont, CA
ANSWER 1:
I have to disagree with you. I have never thought Asian
men were unattractive. I guess the only problem for me is that I am
very tall and have a large build, and I haven't met many Asian people
in my life that match my build.
POSTED OCT. 26, 1998
Anonymous, female, London, England
FURTHER NOTICE:
I am unaware of any desire among those I know to avoid
dating Asian males. As for other friends, I am aware of a
tendency/desire to date those of a similar ethnicity. We've discussed
this and have come to the conclusion that it is a matter of
familiarity and perhaps an ingrained preference for those who look
like you and your closest connections, your family. In addition, I
was brought up in a predominantly white city with limited
interactions with other races. I think the more important issue is
cultural difference rather than racial difference. One connects more
readily with another of similar sentiments and lifestyle.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
Ryan H., 23, Scandinavian Canadian
<ryanhy@tbaytel.net>,
Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I do not think anyone perceives Asian men as undesirable.
The problem for Asian men is that, for various reasons, white males
often think of Asian women as "exotic" or as "forbidden fruit" and
find this very attractive. Many white males are also turned on by the
ridiculous notion that Asian women are docile and servile (some of my
best friends are Asian-American women, and believe me, none of them
is a humble, submissive Geisha girl!). And many Asian females think
that dating or marrying white males gives them more social status.
Thus, Asian-American men, without doing anything wrong, may find
themselves alone, and wondering "Where'd the Asian women go? And why
aren't they interested in us any more"?
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
Astorian
<Astorian@aol.com>,
Austin, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
It has been mentioned in other postings on the Y? Forum
that there is a stereotype of Asian men having small penises. Like
all stereotypes, it is true in some cases and false in many. It would
be my guess that this stereotype is the reason for Asian men, in
general, being seen as unattractive mates.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
B., 23, white male, Kokomo, IN
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
You probably did not intend to direct your query toward a
gay WASP male from the South, but here goes. I find Asian men in
general very attractive. I have been fortunate enough to date more
than a couple of incredibly beautiful, exotic Asian (Chinese, I might
add) men who fairly ooze with sexual energy, intelligence and
masculinity. And while we're at it, my female straight friends have
consistently oooohed and aaaaahed over them. I don't know where
you're dredging up this misguided self-appraisal, but get over it and
get back out there.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
Michael, 39, gay white male, 39, NC
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
As a European-American woman who has dated Asian (Chinese,
Vietnamese, Filipino) men, I would have to disagree with you. All
three of these men did express to me their frustration with the way
they believe Americans perceive common Asian physical traits. But I
had no need to hold them up against an "Anglo" standard of good
looks. I found the men I dated very attractive as individuals; for
their looks, appearance and personality combined.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
Gypsy, white female, 34, St Louis, MO
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I have some friends who were talking about this, and they
were saying that Asian men were often physically attractive, but they
were worried about cultural differences. There is a perception that
Asian men will be even more chauvanistic and sexist toward their
mates than most men, simply because that is the prevailing attitude
in Asia. My friend said she'd be happy to date an Asian guy for fun
and companionship, but not as a prospective husband because of
this.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
20, female, Houston , TX
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
I agree and disagree with the poster's assumptions. Asian
men are receiving more acceptance from non-Asian females as time goes
on. But the response "I don't find Asian men unattractive" does not
answer the main question. Of course, most females would not outright
find an Asian man ugly. But most women in the United States are
looking for a man with blue eyes who is tall and has a larger build,
or who resembles a popular and attractive male movie star or athlete.
Asian men will never have blue eyes, are genetically predisposed to
be shorter than most white men and tend not to be large and burly. We
also have less body hair than most other men. Right now, no matter
how successful we may be in the United States, we are still generally
under-represented in the media. In short, it does not help to say "I
don't find Asian men ugly; I just prefer a guy who has blonde hair."
We live in a sexually competitive world. What I want, as an Asian
man, is to be attractive to myself and not have to live up to
standards of white males. I shouldn't have to.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
David L., 25, Asian-American, Chicago, IL
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
I have always thought Asians were physically beautiful and
wonderfully attractive, but I have never had the sense that an Asian
male was attracted to me. I never received (or perceived) the signals
of interest that I received from other men. As a result, Asian males
have received smiles from me, but little else, because I didn't know
how to approach them or if they even wanted me to do so. Perhaps some
of the distance is simply misunderstanding the wants and intentions
of each other. By the way, I am a fairly tall, blond woman, but I
have never used height or coloring to judge a person. I have to
believe that many other people function the same way I do.
POSTED NOV. 3, 1998
S., 44, SC
FURTHER NOTICE 9:
David L. makes a good point as to how most American women
are socialized to believe that the typical Anglo blue-eyed,
blond-haired, tall and muscular male is the most attractive, and that
Asians are underrepresented in the media. The few representations
that do exist are often negative, further feeding into stereotypes
about Asians. This does not mean, however, that all American women
find Chinese men unattractive; it all really boils down to finding
the qualities that one holds dear to her that makes the other person
seem to be the most attractive person in the world. By the way, my
fiance is half-Chinese, he is a marvelous man and he is gorgeous!
POSTED NOV. 5, 1998
Miriam, 23
<mcvidal@prodigy.net>,
NY
FURTHER NOTICE 10:
I don't know too many women who would turn down a date
with Keanu Reeves, Lou Diamond Phillips, Tiger Woods or James Iha (of
the Smashing Pumpkins), who are all or partly Asian.
POSTED NOV. 12, 1998
Emma, L.A., CA
FURTHER NOTICE 11:
I am a young white American woman, and I have often
considered Asian men more attractive, (in general) than the average
Anglo man. I have had some positive, platonic experiences working and
socializing with men from Japan (I worked in a salmon roe processing
plant in Alaska). Also, I have enjoyed volunteering for an English
class for international students at a local university. The male and
female Asian students were particularly involved and enthusiastic.
However, I have had some negative experiences that have turned me off
to dating and men in general, and most of these involved Asian males.
Of course, this could be coincidence or other factors. Three involved
young men I was not interested in but who were interested in me. The
young men were very pushy and selfish in their pursuit of me. Another
factor to consider was that each one also attended my church. So
whether this is an Asian cultural thing or an attitude that my
church's young adult groups foster, I do not know. I only know that
the men did not seem at all perceptive of my lack of interest and
selfishly forced their own needs for female companionship on me. It
was very uncomfortable. I do not understand why, because I am not
particularly physically attractive or socially outgoing. So, I have a
question to men of all cultures: How do I get you all to leave me
alone? Does being quiet make me seem like an easy target, or
what?
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
24-year-old Anglo female, Phoenix, AZ
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R493: I'm a 30-year-old black male from Michigan. When I go
into the white community stores to visit, why do white women clutch
their purses and take hold of their children?
POSTED OCT. 20, 1998
Ken, 30, black male, Southfield, MI
ANSWER 1:
Kevin, not all white women clutch their purses when a
black man walks by. Some actually like black men (I was married to
one). When I walk down a city street (San Francisco, for instance) I
usually clutch my purse closer for safety's sake, not because I saw
someone of a particular race. You only see this when you walk by, but
maybe they do that when they see any man walk by. POSTED OCT. 22,
1998
W.F., 42, Sacramento, CA
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THE QUESTION:
R492: Why do many fair-skinned people consider getting a tan
beautiful or important, and even sit in the hot sunlight to get
it?
POSTED OCT. 20, 1998
Megha M., Doha, India
<mohanvar@qatar.net.qa>
ANSWER 1:
Megha, not all white/fair skinned women lay out in the sun
to get a tan, at least not anymore. I've had basal cell carcinomas
removed from my face because of this practice as a teen, and now I
never purposely tan. And I use lots of sunblock when in the sun. I
think it's mostly young women/teens who do this now. The older women
know better.
POSTED OCT. 22, 1998
W.F., 42, Sacramento, CA
FURTHER NOTICE:
A lot of people consider tanned skin to be attractive and
I have to agree, even though I know of the awful consequences. I sit
in the sun and on sunbeds (though very rarely) because it helps to
get rid of my excema. I think it originally became popular because it
implied a healthy outdoor lifestyle, which also implied wealth, as
outdoor sports and holidays are expensive.
POSTED OCT. 26, 1998
Not tanned but not pale female, 24, London , England
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I was quite happy when tans went out of style. Sunburns
hurt like hell and age the skin.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
W.M.D., 31, white male
<carlduffy@yahoo.com>,
Markham, Ontario, Canada
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THE QUESTION:
R491: Do any African Americans live in trailer parks?
POSTED OCT. 19, 1998
Travis, 21, Missoula, MT
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