Race/Ethnicity
Questions 531-540
Feel free to browse the following questions, some of which may
still await answers. You can then post an answer or counter an answer
that has already been posted. Please read the
guidelines for answering questions
before making a posting.
Previous 10 this topic
area 
Next
10 this topic area
THE
QUESTION:
R540: I heard recently from a friend in Northern California
that in her place of work, she often hears white women say somewhat
rude remarks about white or black men and their Asian wives. For
example, "He's married to a little Asian girl; he likes those
submissive types." In this particular area of California there are
many Asians, and interracial marriages between Asians and blacks or
whites would seem to be a logical outcome. Why does it appear that if
a non-Asian man is attracted to an Asian women it is immediately
assumed by some people that they like "submissive" types? To me, it's
racist and promotes the idea that only if you are a white woman can
you be viewed as assertive, independent and headstrong.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
G.G., female, 26, Sacramento, CA
ANSWER 1:
I was married to a Chinese (not American-born) woman for
five years, and she was anything but submissive. That was one of the
things I most admired about her. She was an incredibly gutsy woman.
And oh, don't get her mad! Again, hardly submissive. I have lots of
Chinese friends, including many women, and few could be considered
submissive.
POSTED DEC. 2, 1998
G.D., 37, white male
<avhbooks@world.std.com>,
Boston, MA
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R539: It seems as though young black males do not approach me
because they have seen me with white males. Do black males date black
females who have dated or currently date white males? If not, why
not?
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
M. Boyd, 18, black female
<jeboyd007@msn.com>,
Kansas City, MO
ANSWER 1:
I think that this has much to do with the stigma that is
attached to many interracial couples. Generally, I would classify
this stigma as something derived from the xenophobia that people
possess. As a black male and speaking personally, no, I wouldn't
necessarily have issues with someone dating outside of my ethnicity,
but I'm sure that there are those who would.
POSTED NOV. 30, 1998
Andre, African-American male
<dreallen@yahoo.com>,
New York, NY
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R538: Would a college-age Japanese woman be offended by a
birthday card with a cartoon animal on it, such as a bear? Also, what
are Japanese customs concerning gift-giving to friends (in Japan and
overseas)?
POSTED NOV. 29, 198
Tamara O., female, IL
ANSWER 1:
I can't speak to customs of gift-giving. I do know that
the indigenous people of Japan, the Ainu, consider the bear sacred.
Maybe your friend considers cartoons of bears degrading or offensive
for that reason.
POSTED NOV. 30, 1998
Dave, 36, white male
<david.drewes@apwesa.com>,
Wales, WI
FURTHER NOTICE:
First off, a Japanese woman of college age would be
delighted with any card, especially one from outside of Japan. Don't
worry about it. The bear is not a problem at all; in fact, it is
quite appropriate, as Japanese people in general, and women in
particular, place a far greater value on "cuteness" than most
Americans. "Kawai-i!" (cute) is accepted much more broadly in Japan,
and it is applied across age and gender lines to an extent that would
draw instant ridicule in the United States. As for Japanese
gift-giving customs, buy a book. Several, large books, preferably.
Study all you want, you still won't really understand. Japanese
people have an astonishing assortment of complex, nuanced, formalized
gift-giving customs. Relax, though - you aren't Japanese, so you
aren't expected to conform. A gift that somehow recalls or
memorializes any aspect of your relationship to the receiver will be
greatly appreciated.
POSTED NOV. 30, 1998
Geoff
<boston@eolas-net.ne.jp>,
Asahikawa, Japan
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R537: I want to know what people think of the current
situation in which a white teacher in New York was highly criticized
for teaching with a book called Nappy Hair, written by a black
author and designed to celebrate differences. The teacher was using
the book in order to take the culture of her black students into
account.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
John K., 25
<the-macs@geocities.com>,
Cranford, NJ
ANSWER 1:
I read about this event and also wondered what was the
cause of all the ruckus. We all know that nappy hair is viewed as a
derogatory term by many people. Perhaps the parents took umbrage at a
white female using a book with this title. Unfortunately the black
experience in America teaches us that it is best to err on the side
of caution when dealing with white people. If our collective
experience in America has taught us anything, it is that we should
approach all white people and their actions with caution. Those
parents couldn't in good conscience assume that the white teacher's
actions were either well-meaning or benign.
POSTED NOV. 28, 1998
Wanda, Boston, MA
FURTHER NOTICE:
According to the acount I read, the book in question was
written by a black female author. The article also stated that
earlier in the school year the teacher had provided a reading list
for students to give to their parents. Finally, the article stated
that the school and teacher were shouted down by the angry parents at
the meeting, which had been called to discuss the issue and book. In
short, given the "facts" as stated in the article I read, I see an
instance of black parents screaming "racism" right away and then
practicing intolerance (refusing to listen). If the article I read
was inaccurate, someone please provide accurate details. Until some
evidence of racism and intolerance by the teacher is produced, I feel
sympathy for the teacher, not the parents.
POSTED NOV. 28, 1998
Phaedrus, 40, Caucasian, Boston , MA
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I just read in The New York Times online today that the
parents were actually sympathetic with the teacher (they even
sent her flowers). However, other local residents, who were probably
less well-informed about the teacher's intentions, were the ones who
were upset about the choice of books. Too bad. The teacher has opted
to leave the school district.
POSTED DEC. 2, 1998
S., white, hearing impaired, Columbia, MO
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I have to say as a future teacher (I graduate in May) that
I was extremely alarmed by what happen to this young teacher. I feel
bad for her and her students. I believe she honestly tried to open
the minds of her students and encourage them to have high
self-esteem. It is really sad that some ignorant people robbed those
children of a teacher who really cared about them. I honestly wish
people would have read the entire book before making quick uneducated
decisions. I just hope that incident doesn't prevent teachers from
trying to open the lines of communication about race and other
sensitive subjects with their classes.
POSTED DEC. 3, 1998
Nicole, white, 22
<nicole_1976@hotmail.com>,
N.J.
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
To Wanda: I don't understand why the mediator allows you
and others to make blanket statements as if they're gospel. What is
your basis for saying that "we" have been taught to approach all
whites with caution? I believe this is another statement that borders
on racism. How can you catergorically say all blacks hold this view
and all whites deserve this treatment? Should all whites conversely
approach you with caution? This double standard and hyprocrisy is a
major reason race relations are so poor here. I hear black folks say
nappy all day long. The woman who wrote the book was black. Is
anybody screaming at her? And I am more than fed up with many
participants posting their views as if their opinion is the
prevailing view of all members of any given demographic. Speak as an
individual, please. Much of what I read here does not represent my
view, and I am as black as the next AfricanAmerican.
Lastly, Wanda, as a believer in metaphysics, I believe your
experiences with whites is, in part, due to your own karma. If you
believe all whites are not to be trusted, liked, etc., you will
continue to draw those particular kinds of individuals into your
experiences. It's called universal law. Of course, I realize we do
not live in a vacuum. So before someone challenges me and says I
believe we create every bad situation that happens to us, be assured
I do not. But, what I believe on this subject is another topic. If
you'd like to further this discussion, e-mail me.
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
Zawadi, black female, 33
<aquarius9@hotmail.com>,
Detroit, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
As a librarian in an elementary school, I bought that book
for friends and for the African American library where I work part
time. I love the sense of humor, and the dialogue made me remember
family picnics and the sharp but loving speech of my older relatives.
But I would not buy the same book for the majority white elementary
school that I work at, nor would I read it for a story hour, although
my co-worker who is African American uses it regularly. As a white
person in an African-American family, I realize there are forms of
speech reserved for home that would be misinterpreted in a majority
white setting. I can see how white people might easily misunderstand
the teasing sense of pride in the book, and African Americans might
find it difficult to hear a white person read the text. Part of what
makes the book so wonderful is that it taps into that family
language. But racial politics being what they are, a professional
teacher needs to be aware of his/her audience.
POSTED DEC. 22, 1998
Lori, white female, FL
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I was surprised at the hostility my comments received from
a reader. At the same time I sensed that she misread the comment. In
self-defense, I will state that I used the term "to err on the side
of caution." Hopefully most understood that "to err" means to make a
mistake. Secondly, I used the term "our collective experience," not
our individual experience. The collective experience means that we
take into consideration what others of the group have experienced. We
remember the Tuskeegee experiment the separate but equal doctrine,
the Mexico City Olympics, the disparate wages, the neighborhoods
destroyed by interstate road projects, the circumstances surrounding
the death of Charles Drew and numerous other events, which when
viewed collectively raise the issue of caution and trust. Lastly, it
has been years since I last visited Detroit so I will take no
responsibility for the tenor of race relations in that fine city.
POSTED JAN. 6, 1999
Wanda, Boston, MA
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
To Wanda: I concede my tone was hostile. I am human and
subject to err (to be wrong or mistaken; to deviate from the
established moral code), and it was unnecessary to vent at you. I
could have more civilized and disagreed with your argument/position
only. I apologize. Personal attacks seldomly yield anything fruitful.
However, my posting did prompt you to contact me, and perhaps
something of value will result from subsequent correspondence. We
have different views. My sentiments regarding the nappy hair post are
the same. You believe, feel and know what you know to be true for
you. What I argued is that I take offense when writers speak for
others, and you have used collective nouns, which in my mind, says
you speak for others as well as yourself. I will, in light of your
personal e-mail to me, re-read your response to consider what I
missed or misinterpreted.
Secondly, I seriously considered what was going on with me
emotionally that I felt so strongly charged. I suspect my reaction
was not simply to this particular instance. I am offended when
writers post their opinions and suggest or in any other way insinuate
that their view is the prevailing one. Also, my experience has been
that some of my most devastating, emotional wounds have been
inflicted by members of my own race, and yet whenever we talk about
race, there is a prepondence of accusations (and yes, much is valid)
about what "those people" have done to "us." But I rarely hear honest
discussion about how we inflict emotional harm on one another.
I'm weary of hearing us complain and blame others and
circumstances about what affects us, yet invest so little discussion
about our own dirty laundry. In short, that day I was responding not
only to the discussion at hand, but the issues I personally related
to it. For instance, it was other black folks who talked about
my nappy hair as a child, and as an adult. It was black folks who
made me feel growing up that I was too dark to be bright (better
than) and not dark enough to be "black is beautiful." It was blacks
who teased my diction and writing abilities. In short, it was always
in my own community that I constantly felt challenged to prove I was
"black enough."
Again, I apologize for venting at you. Maybe I am one weird chick,
but I didn't get that way without some help. Get insulted and hurt
enough, and you're right, you learn to approach folks with caution.
Peace.
POSTED JAN. 13, 1999
Zawadi, black female,
<aquarius9@hotmail.com>,
Detroit, MI
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R536: Do white women wear hair extensions, weaves, etc. as
frequently as black women?
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
A. Bailey, Bridgeport, CT
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R535: Many times I have heard that African Americans want to
be paid for the work that their ancestors did during slavery in the
United States. My question is, Should all white people pay?
What about those who migrated to the United States in the early
1900s?
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Marcus, 26, white Columbus , OH
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R534: My wife says my use of the term "Trailer Trash" is just
as offensive as using a racial epithet against a minority. I say I'm
only using it to describe a certain set of behaviors. Who's
right?
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
P., white male, FL
ANSWER 1:
Well, that's going to depend upon who you talk to. I would
suggest you read a book called The Redneck Manifesto by Jim
Goad. Think about this scenario: I saw a comedian who was talking
about "white trash," and he used the terms "podunk," "cracker,"
"hicks" and basically called everyone in the Midwest an inbred. Now,
there was no outcry of racism/"ethnic bigotry" or anything like that
in the news. (This comedian was a pretty well-known Jewish
comedian/actor, and the routine was performed three years ago. Now,
imagine if that same comedian had said "nigger," "spook," "coon" or
any of the other racial slurs considered a no-no in today's society
while he was degrading "black trash." Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
would have raised a fit, while The Honorable Louis Farrahkan (who I
greatly respect) might have said "See! I told you so!" Racism knows
no boundaries. Slurs are slurs, no matter how you slice them; and the
intent is to degrade. Read Jim Goad's book. It will definitely offend
some people, but I found it a very enlightening look at "reverse
descrimination" (it's just descrimination. Period).
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
Tim, single white male, 30
<Fafnir777@hotmail.com>,
Jacksonville, FL
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R533: About 10 or so years ago, my older brother used to work
with a lot of African Americans for a rental car agency in the
Chicago area, driving back cars long distances to their original
departure points. The drivers would all drive their rental cars in a
group on these cross-country "drive-back" treks out West. He told me
there were times when some of the African Americans, upon just
starting on the job and driving for their first time out of an urban
area, would comment at rest stops on how amazed they were at the
amount of "open space" there actually was once they got out in the
country - almost as though they thought there would still be lots of
buildings and concrete. Is this an anomaly, or are there many African
Americans (or others) who have never been out of a city who don't
have this sense or understanding of the degree of open space there
actually is in the United States?
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
P., white male, FL
ANSWER 1:
Many families in the inner-city are just trying to
survive, and cross-country travel is out of the question.
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
A.A.W., 42 black female
<ANABWI@aol.com>,
Plantation, FL
FURTHER NOTICE:
I am acquainted with many African Americans who never
venture far beyond the boundaries of their own neighborhoods, with
the occasional exception of visiting relatives "back down South."
There are many possible explanations for this, and I'm not the most
qualified person to speculate on them. In any case, it is likely that
these people are intellectually aware of the wide open spaces
covering our nation. To "know" it mentally and to actually see it
firsthand are two entirely different cognitive experiences. Several
years ago, I hosted two friends from England. Though they were from
an urban area and were aware of the scale of Chicago in relation to
their community, they still marveled at the way our city streets
seemed to "go on without end."
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
Sam, 30, male, brown American
<SamAlex67@aol.com>,
Chicago, Il
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R532: On the cover of The Los Angeles Times was a tragic
picture of a Sudanese woman and her two starving children; one was an
infant, the other a toddler. They were dying from famine and had only
weeks to live. Famine is nothing new in this region and surely came
as no surprise to the mother, who was herself emaciated. Why do
people who live under these impossible conditions elect to have
children when they know they will only suffer and die from
starvation? As a white male from an upper-middle class background, I
have made the decision to put off having children because I earn
$30,000 per year as a waiter and am still in school.
POSTED NOV. 232 1998
B. Mccarthy, white male, 28, Los Angeles, CA
ANSWER 1:
I have questioned this myself for a long time, and the
only thing I can come up with is that they just don't know about
contraception. Because of their condition, I assume they are
uneducated, and for that reason they may not know how to protect
themselves from pregnancies. I'm sure that if they were aware such
devices were available to them, they'd protect themselves.
POSTED NOV. 24, 1998
Ingrid L., 18, Boston, MA
FURTHER NOTICE:
Sudan and the United States are about as different as you
can possibly get in this world. The United States is a modern,
industrialized, devloped, democratic, free nation. You are extremely
lucky and fortunate to live in such a country and earn a middle-class
living in a comfortable setting. Sudan is a desperately poor,
agrarian, dictatorial, war-torn nation. Many of the Sudanese (if not
the vast majority) are uneducated and do not have access to birth
control. They cannot even dream about having anything remotely close
to a lifestyle like yours. Thus, any child they have will have an
extremely high chance of dying. You may then ask, "Why have children
at all, then?" Well, in these agragrian cultures, children are, for
better or worse, looked upon as "hands in the field" rather than
"mouths to feed." They cannot comprehend the macro-level consequences
of more children like you and I can. Thus, people will tend to have
more children than in the developed West, especially when it is
practically guaranteed many children will die young. The economy,
culture, values, politics, etc. are so vastly different from what you
are accostomed to that comparing yourself to a destitute Sudanese
mother is even beyond comparing apples and oranges.
POSTED NOV. 24, 1998
Mihir, Indian-American male, 25
<mishah@vt.edu>, Skokie,
IL
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Remember first that for many people, children are
economically a net gain for the family, because the work they
contribute to the family from a very early age. They are often a form
of - sometimes the only form of - security in old age for the
parents. (And of course, if you know that many of your children will
die, then you must have even more to ensure that some will live.) But
even aside from that, is having children always a choice? Birth
control is not widely available in many places. Not having sex is not
an option for many women, to put it delicately, and abstinence is not
a popular choice in general, especially in cultures where the lack of
children is a social stigma.
POSTED NOV. 24, 1998
Catherine H.
<tylik@eskimo.com>,
Woodinville, WA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Because of religious beliefs and a lack of access to birth
control.
POSTED NOV. 24, 1998
A.A.W., 42 black female
<ANABWI@aol.com>,
Plantation, FL
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I am an upper-middle class Nigerian who is very
knowledgeable of the poverty and educational level of fellow
Africans. The indigent/poor Africans are not aware of the various
types of birth control, and this is attributed to the level of
education in some parts of the continent (and as we all know,
abstinence is very difficult.) Secondly, Africans value children, and
because of that, abortion is considered wrong. Also, in some parts of
Africa, children are considered the parents' wealth. Like all
parents, Africans do not want their children to suffer and starve to
death, but when they are not knowledgeable/aware of various birth
control methods, there is really nothing they can do to prevent
having lots of babies.
POSTED NOV. 24, 1998
African Girl
<Deimma@collegeclub.com>,
Miami, FL
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R531: What do others think are American Indians' reasons for
joining the military in such high numbers (a quarter are veterans,
twice as high as any other group)? Do people who are not American
Indian know of their contribution to the military?
POSTED NOV. 21, 1998
A.C.C., Mexican and American Indian
<bigi__@yahoo.com>, San
Antonio, TX
ANSWER 1:
My unscientific view is that the military attracts a
disproportionate number of economically disadvantaged people because
often that is the only way for these sort of folks to succeed in life
through some type of upward mobility. Either for financial and/or
academic reasons, they do not have the option of pursuing a college
education, and the military presents the best opportunity for a
stable and successful life. As American Indians are disproprtionately
of poorer backgrounds, it is not surprising to find many American
Indians pursuing military careers and proudly serving and defending
the United States. The reasons listed above are also why the military
has a disproportionately high number of African Americans and Latino
Americans. I am not aware of specific "stories" of specific American
Indians heroically serving in battle. However, while I think all
military personnel, veterans, POWs and MIAs should be honored equally
regardless of race, I think Americans should appreciate the fact that
minorities of traditionally poorer backgrounds, including American
Indians, have and have had a unique and highly noteworthy role in
U.S. military history.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Mihir, (Asian) Indian, 25
<mishah@vt.edu>, Skokie,
IL
FURTHER NOTICE:
I had no idea so many American Indians went into the
service. However, I do know that the Army used native-speaking
Navajos as signalmen in at least one war, because long, detailed
messages could be sent, and the enemy had no way of understanding the
language, so it was better than a code. Also, I have been to very few
powwows where there wasn't at least one dance honoring veterans in
the tribe.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Colette, white female
<inkwolf@earthlink.net>,
Seymour, WI
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Some important reasons, if not the most important, could
be jobs, job security and some degree of validation which, for Native
Americans, has not been easily come by in this country. Native
American contributions to the military have been no less than that of
any other group, and of inestimable benefit in many specific
instances.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
F.L.W., 58, black male
<110555.2423@compuserve.com>,
Columbia, Md
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
As a 21-year veteran of the Army, I can tell you that the
25 percent figure quoted for American Indians' military service is
not significantly higher than the overall national average, which is
usually cited as 20 percent. It is true that upward mobility is much
greater in the military. However, it is not true that minorities,
including Indians, join the military because they are uneducated (or
undereducated). The modern military is very sophisticated. Even the
lowly infantryman has to know how to use battlefield computers, MILES
systems, satellite communications equipment and a host of other very
complex gear. While the military offers much more access to higher
education than the civilian sector, because of this it does not
enlist dummies. Finally, Indians, in spite of our history, are proud,
patriotic Americans and consider the profession of arms to be an
honorable one.
POSTED DEC. 1, 1998
Mike, 56, veteran
<mkoessic@bellsouth.net>,
Hollywood, FL
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
The answer I was given at the Defense Equal Opportunity
Management Institute by a Native American was that it allowed him to
be a warrior without violating the laws of the United States. This
has been similar to the answers given to me by members of various
tribes I have worked with throughout my military career when I have
asked them why they joined the military. The tribal affiliations
include: Lakota, Cree, Apache and Seminole.
POSTED DEC. 1, 1998
Frank, 31, White Anglo-Spanish Pagan
<gonzalez1@hauns.com>,
Alamogordo, NM
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
The contribution of the Navajo (Din'e) Code-Talkers, who
used a variant of their language in order to transmit coded messages
in the World War Pacific Theater, was crucial in keeping our military
secrets safe from the Japanese. It was only recently that the
code-talkers were acknowledged by the government, and likewise
recognized by the American people. I suppose the long silence about
the code-talkers could be explained away as a national security
issue, but in my heart, I can't help but believe it was more about
the government not wanting to give the Navajo the recognition they
deserved.
POSTED DEC. 4, 1998
Shelley, Anglo/Latina/Cherokee = mutt ,
<1derwhy@usa.net>, Fort
Worth, TX
To respond
BACK TO TOP