Race/Ethnicity
Questions 641-650
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THE
QUESTION:
R650: I deliver pizza and subs part-time and noticed that
blacks almost never tip. Why? The others where I work say the same
thing. Are there others out there who notice this?
POSTED APRIL 19, 1999
Patrick W., 31, Irish American, male
<pwalsh@bellsouth.net>
Orlando, FL
ANSWER 1:
Probably for the same reasons you may not have tipped in
the past, or for the same reasons many (not all, as you imply about
blacks) other whites, Asians, Latinos, etc. do not tip. Do you
deliver to a community where a take-out meal may be a luxury for some
who may not be able to afford a tip? Do no blacks ever tip
you? What kind of service are you giving? Do you treat your
customers, no matter what ethnicity, with respect, courtesy and
timeliness deserving of a tip? Have you ever asked your customers why
they don't tip? Do you ever encounter non-black customers who don't
tip regularly? Perhaps many of your customers believe a tip is
included in their bill; have you explained to them otherwise?
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Michael, 34, black, male, always a generous tipper
<mimann@erols.com>,
Fairfax, VA
FURTHER NOTICE:
I have been in the pizza business about six years now, and
you are correct. Taking it a step further, Hispanics are far worse
when it comes to tipping. Is it not part of their culture? The best
tippers will always be fellow tip-getters, i.e. bartenders and
waitresses. But a delivery driver always knows he/she is in trouble
when a Hispanic youth comes to the door at a trailer park!
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Dan B., 26, white male
<MookieB21@aol.com>.
Tucson, AZ
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I don't know about all black people, but I think
people don't automatically deserve a tip. Delivery is a service
offered by the company, and I don't have to tip anyone. But I do tip,
mostly people who try to be nice or try to go beyond the call of duty
(i.e." How are you today?", "I hope you enjoy your food," etc.). If
you run up to my door and hold out you hand, you most likely won't be
tipped. I also worked for Dominos when I was 18, and I never noticed
that black people didn't tip, but I also never noticed that white
people did. I was just thankful for the tip, whoever it came from,
and anyone who didn't tip, I assumed they couldnt afford to.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Kyle, 30, black male
<kyllr2v231@aol.com>,
San Francisco, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
My brother worked in the food service industry for years.
He said blacks almost never tipped, were very demanding and hard to
please.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Pat, 44, white female, GrandRapids, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I do not tip for two reasons: 1) If the service was not
satisfactory, or 2) If I have already spent a lot of money and cannot
spare more. Why do people have to tip even if the service was
lousy?
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Ify, black girl 21
<ifebigh77@hotmail.com>,
Miami, FL
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I have noticed this in several instances as a waitress,
though there are also many more instances where white people tip
horribly or not at all. I think it is easier to notice when
minorities don't tip because they are minorities, and therefore we
come into contact with fewer of them.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Kate, 24, female, Dorchester, MA
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I worked several delivery jobs and noticed almost the
opposite of what you say. Blacks and Latinos would generally tip
well, Anglos would tip poorly, if at all, unless they were female
office workers or blue-collar males. From this I concluded it was
both a class and an experience thing. People who might have had
delivery jobs or know friends and family who did that tip better than
those who don't or haven't.
A.C.C., Mexican and American Indian, San Antonio , TX
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
I always tip, so there! (sticking my tongue out at
you)
Tipper Goore, black female, tired of stereotypes, Baltimore , MD
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE
QUESTION:
R649: I ask this question with curiosity, not anger: I have
observed that many white people (particularly men) feel superior to
those around them. Like, from the first time they see a person, they
exhibit an air of superiority. My first impression when I meet
another person (usually) is that they are at least my equal, and I
usually find out after some time whether this is true. Why is the
first instinct of many whites one of superiority?
POSTEDE APRIL 16, 1999
Randy H., African American, male, 25, agnostic, Silver SPring ,
MD
ANSWER 1:
When I meet someone new, I usually have a feeling of
questioning and slight paranoia: Wondering what they are thinking of
me, what judgments they are making of me, how they are perceiving me,
and so on. I really believe in "You only get one chance to make a
first impression" and thus am very concerned with how I am projecting
myself when I meet someone new.
POSTED APRIL 17, 1999
D.M., male 26, white, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
FURTHER NOTICE:
Being a white male, I had to resist my first impulse,
which would have explored whether this was your perception and not
reality. However, as I really thought about it, I have a possible
explanation for what you have asked: White males are hugely
competitive. I am sure volumes have been written about why. However,
in a society whose rules were created by white males, failure is
intensely personal for white males. We have homecourt advantage all
the time. We have no one to blame, as individuals, for having not
succeeded in society (not to say that we don't try to find someone to
blame - mothers are convenient!). I find that projecting an aura of
invincibility is a way to further my own competitive advantage by at
least making sure others know I am confident in myself. Women
frequently comment that confidence is an attractive trait in males.
My take on this could be all wet, and is based on absolutely not one
scintilla of research or scientific evidence.
POSTED APRIL 17, 1999
Steve, 42, male and very confident, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I think it has something to do with the way most white men
are raised. We are supposed to be highly self-reliant and dominant in
just about every aspect of our lives, or so the traditions seem to
go. Everything is about emotional restraint and being better than the
next guy. A lot of this comes from the fact that white men feel they
are in constant competition with others. It might come from European
culture, where most of the influence on society came from the men and
women attached to royalty. In order to increase your position in the
eyes of society, you had to dominate the competition. While that no
longer holds true in our society, that unspoken tradition still seems
to hang around.
POSTED APRIL 17, 1999
John K., 25, white male
<the-macs@geocities.com>,
Cranford , NJ
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Randy, are you feeling insecure around these people and
making a perception? Speaking from age and experience, you will soon
learn once you're secure with who you are that what other people
think, feel and believe doesn't matter to you and what you're trying
to achieve. Hey, some black people project "an air of
superiority."
POSTED APRIL 17, 1999
43, black female
<ANABWI@aol.com>,
Plantation, FL
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I believe our past experiences can have a huge impact on
how we perceive other people. The first thing we see, whether we like
it or not, is color. It could be a subconcious thing, or you are
hanging around the wrong white boys. Another possibility is that
maybe they are intimidated by you. The common myth about black men's
larger penis size is a major issue for a lot of white guys. It scares
them. There's a lot of other things, too, but I'm not alotted that
much space.
POSTED APRIL 17, 1999
Aimee, 23, white female
<aimeeroyer@worldnet.att.net>,
Peoria , IL
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I have seen this in many ethnic backgrounds. I have
actually found many black men I have met to have the same attitude as
the white men you are describing. There are many reasons for this
type of action, though. It may be that they are self-confident -
moreso than you or I - and it appears as if they feel they are better
than others. It may also be that they don't have the self-confidence
and are trying to compensate. I try not to judge people until I know
them better, but I know this attitude is hard to break through.
POSTED APRIL 17, 1999
Stacia, female
<sljbuttercup@yahoo.com>,
Madison , WI
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
Men tend to be status-driven, meaning a lot of energy goes
into establishing a pecking order and improving one's place in the
pecking order. Consider sports and business organizations and even
the way men tease one another - it's all about rank. Women, in
contrast, tend to be connectional, meaning they seek commonalities
and empathies in their relationships with other women. Check out the
work of Deborah Tannen.
POSTED APRIL 17, 1999
B. Hale, master of all I survey
<halehart@aol.com>,
Hartford , CT
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
Maybe what you are seeing is formality, not superiority. I
have noticed that Hispanics, to some extent, and African Americans,
to an even greater extent, seem more comfortable than European
Americans with becoming familiar with new acquaintances quickly.
Perhaps it stems from deepseated cultural history. In general,
European cultures had a strong history of feudalism, where your
master was probably not of your close bloodline. You were ruled by a
stranger and had to keep a "respectful" distance. Just a wild guess.
I'm not a cultural anthropologist. Do you notice this reaction when
European Americans interact with each other,or just when interacting
with other ethnic groups?
POSTED APRIL 17, 1999
Stacee, 30 European-American, female, Houston, TX
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE
QUESTION:
R648: Why do most bad drivers seem to be Asian? I like to
think I am a non-bigoted, non-sterotyping person, yet this is the one
area I fail at. Everytime I see someone not following the law in a
car or displaying an obvious lack of understanding of the rules of
the road, or even just a total disrespect or obliviousness to other
cars and pedestrians, the driver is almost always Asian. Why is this
?
POSTED APRIL 14, 1999
D.M., 26, white male, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
ANSWER 1:
Many Asian immigrants are not used to driving. Many of the
immigrants from Hong Kong are used to taking transit to work, or (at
least the ones who are well off) have chauffers to drive them.
POSTED APRIL 16, 1999
Cynthia, Canadian of Chinese descent, 19, female, Kingston, Ontario,
Canada
FURTHER NOTICE:
Let me suggest to you that possibly this has something to
do with: a) the fact that Vancouver has an extremely large Asian
population, which increases the chances that you will see an Asian
driving badly, and b) you are perhaps more likely to notice the
offense if it is committed by an Asian, and more likely to attribute
it to their race
POSTED APRIL 16, 1999
A former Vancouverite
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
"Asian" is an all-encompassing term. It could mean
Chinese, Japanese, Laotian, Vietnamese and Hmong individuals. If you
read the book The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, it
depicts the Hmong culture exsisting within the American culture. It
even talks about the bad driving. The refugees (mostly adults) do not
understand the written language but have a need to drive, so they
devise ways of passing the test. The reason they need to drive, is to
visit family, which takes a No. 1 priority in their culture - not
rules of the road.
POSTED APRIL 16, 1999
Leah, female, cross-cultures psychology student, Erie, PA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I don't think the question coming from Vancouver, a city
with a large Asian population, is a coincidence. It is obvious that
in an area where there are many people of a certain category, those
people may dominate various habits and activities, both positive and
negative. Here in the Detroit suburbs, where there are varied genders
and nationalities, bad drivers seem to come in various colors and
ages.
POSTED APRIL 16, 1999
Michael Z., 28, white male
<Mjick@aol.com>, Southfield,
MI
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE
QUESTION:
R647: Why does it seem that many First Nations people
(natives) speak very slowly?
POSTED APRIL 13, 1999
C.P., 21, white female, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE
QUESTION:
R646: I am an African-American female and am curious to find
out from people of other races what you were taught about money when
you were younger, i.e. whether to invest, save in mutual funds,
insurances, etc. What did your parents tell you, and at what age did
you learn about how money works?
POSTED APRIL 13, 1999
Diane, 33, African American, female
<ladyskinz@hotmail.com>,
Hyattsville, MD
ANSWER 1:
I grew up being taught I would never actually have
anything. Even when my parents tried to tell me I could be whatever I
wanted and such, they still gave an air of "Well, I had to tell her
that, even if it is not true." I was never taught anything about
investing and mutual funds and learned nothing of them until I was 21
and started working in a bank as a teller. I do not think how people
learn about money has as much to do with race as it does economic
status. I grew up very poor, raised by parents with no
self-esteem.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Cindy, white, female, 28
<Cindy@mail.voyager.com>,
Los Angeles, CA
FURTHER NOTICE:
My parents opened a savings account for me before my fifth
birthday and taught me to save, save, save - which I did until I
moved out of their house and no longer had anything to put in my
savings account. Currently I am slowly draining said account. My
father has set me up with stocks and bonds, but I know nothing about
them, and I don't know anything about insurance or taxes. I've slowly
been figuring things out as I go along.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
S.R., white, poor student, 21, Austin, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
When I was little, I was taught to save, though not much
else. When I was nine or so, my mother began investing in the stock
market a bit, which led to a lot of discussion of the workings of the
market, and to me keeping (though not very assiduously) a dummy
portfolio. A little bit later I began babysitting, which gave me a
decent income of my own, and a start on practical experience with
money. Then when I was 15 I moved out on my own, which gave me a
whole new kind of financial education. When I look at my friends -
most of whom are also young, well-paid liberal arts grads turned
computer professionals - it seems that many of us have the feeling
that our parents were a bit feckless with regard to finances in their
youth. In some cases, about the time we entered the job market, our
parents were just starting to get serious about investing and
planning for the future. A lot of us have ended up learning to invest
with our parents, which makes for interesting family gatherings
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Catherine H., 26, white
<tylik@eskimo.com>,
Woodinville, WA
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE
QUESTION:
R645: I have seen a lot of rap album covers, and I notice the
rappers are never smiling. Why?
POSTED APRIL 12, 1999
Patrick W., male
<pwalsh@bellsouth.net>,
Jacksonville, FL -
ANSWER 1:
It is not a black/white/rap/rock thing. Pop culture has
not realized that true joy does not come from accumulation of
material good; therefore they (successful entertainers) are unhappy.
It seems rap stars are the unhappiest of all successful people. They
display this by gunning their brothers down. Rock stars just commit
heroin-a-cide or drown in a bottle. Popular culture in other parts of
the world focuses on family and self-improvement. If they made
albums, they would be smiling.
POSTED APRIL 13, 1999
Parkman, 31, smiling
<parkman_2000@yahoo.com>,
West Palm Beach , FL
FURTHER NOTICE:
A lot of the artists feel the"hard-core" image is what's
in and what sells. Most artists are not smiling because of the
content of their work and they have to stay consistent with the
"image."
POSTED APRIL 13, 1999
Clorinda R., black female, Greensboro , NC
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I believe it has something to do with the preconceived
notion that rappers are supposed to be tough, and hence the straight
face. Or maybe because of the context of their music, which is about
struggling and oppression, they think the message would get to the
audience better if they kept a straight face.
POSTED APRIL 13, 1999
Ify, black girl, Miamil, FL
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I'd have to disagree with Parkman in the suggestion that
rappers are the most unhappy of all entertainers. I don't believe any
one group is any more or less happy than another based on the genre
of music. And how many times have you heard a true story of a rapper,
once in the profession, committing murder? I believe the straight
face represents the hardcore image that sells worldwide. A smile
softens that image. Ask the Hanson brothers. It all depends on the
market.
POSTED APRIL 14, 1999
Jacquel, African-American, 20, Chicago, IL
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE
QUESTION:
R644: Why do some darker-skinned black females treat me
cruelly or assume I think I am better than they are because I am
light-skinned?
POSTED APRIL 7, 1999
Renee, black (but light brown) female, 18, NJ
ANSWER 1:
You know, I still haven't figured that out yet. I'm a very
light-skinned black female who is often asked if I am biracial, and
so many darker-skinned females treat me like I think I am better than
they are. Which is not true. This just reinforces that ignorance and
pettiness knows no color.
POSTED APRIL 8, 1999
Angee, 23, black female
<Boointn@aol.com>,
Clarksville, TN
FURTHER NOTICE:
Well, this is coming from a dark-skinned sista', and I
could say that I receive the same treatment the two of you receive.
Light-skinned women tend to act like they are better than
darker-skinned women because they look closer to whites. Their hair
is straight and longer, and a lot of white women think this makes
them better than the darker, kinkier-haired women. I must tell the
two of you that this hatred between us is institutionalized. It stems
back from slavery. Slave master knew that blacks would be easier to
control and less likely to revolt if we had conflict with one
another. Slave masters made it so there was animosity between black
men and black women. Then lights against darks. Young against the old
and the field slaves against the house slaves. All so that we would
not unite - so that we wouldn't trust one another. Divide and
conquer. Does this sound familliar?
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Sista', African American, 19, female, Boston , MA
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I think the cruelty/attitude from dark-skinned African
Americans toward lighter-skinned African Americans is a backlash
against negative attitudes toward dark-skinned people from society at
large. First, there has been a history of apparent light-skinned
African-American elitism. From "house niggers," slaves (very often
light skinned) who received better treatment; to social organizations
at the beginning of the century (many black fraternities and
sororities would admit only members who passed the "brown bag" test),
to Duke basketball (many people today believe Duke recruits
light-skinned blacks more often than dark-skinned), dark-skinned
people see ourselves as marginalized in part by light-skinned people.
And within all of these examples there is an element of light-skinned
collusion with whites. All of this is confusing and doesn't make much
sense (as do most issues around racism), but I think there is some
reasoning, however distorted, behind dark-skinned anger toward
light-skinned people.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Randy H., 25, African American, male
<rh141n@nih.gov>, Silver
Spring , MD
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I believe many darker-skinned black women treat you badly
because they are jealous of you. In the world we live in,
unfortunately, it is true that white females get a lot of special
treatment and attention. Being light-skinned brings you closer to
that, which would make the other women assume you receive the
attention they desire.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Jon, male
<keithpeanut@hotmail.com>,
Detroit, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Read Shirlee Taylor Haizlip's The Sweeter the Juice
and you'll learn about her family's story about this and more of our
history of self-hatred.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
43, black female
<anabwi@aol.com >,
Plantation , FL
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
We all need to cut that foolishness out because we will
never unite as a people as long as we continue to have these
light-skinned/dark-skinned wars within the African American
community. Like Lawrence Fishburne said in School Daze, Wake
up!
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Janet W., 32, African-American female,
<jbutler@commoncause.org>,
Capitol Heights, MD
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I have a good friend who is light-skinned and has
naturally soft, wavy hair. Both parents are very dark-skinned; no
biracial heritage that she knows of. She has had some very cruel
remarks from darker-skinned black women, but little if any from black
men. They especially made nasty remarks about her hair. She
attributes the remarks to some black women having low self-esteem and
buying into the sterotype that dark-skinned women have no beauty. To
me, it's back to my basic belief that people try to degrade anyone
who is different.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Alma, white lesbian
<pridewks@seacove.net>,
Kempner , TX
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
I have never discriminated against light-skinned females -
it usually happened the other way around. I think it is a result of
our environment. This country has historically portrayed
light-skinned black women as more attractive and feminine than
darker-skinned women. I know many black women who experience this
type of discrimination within their own families, which is where we
learn many of our hang-ups. You know, aunts who tell us to "stay out
of the sun before we get any darker." As children we learn to
displace our anger and end up hating the wrong people. It then
follows into adulthood. Men don't make this any easier. I've actually
had men tell me to my face that "what's-her-name is 'fine' with her
light skin and pretty eyes." Unfortunately, we sometimes listen to
their twisted ideas of beauty and let it affect our self-esteem (a
bit of jealousy). Then again, some people are just mean.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Very Brown, African American, female, Virginia Beach, VA
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE
QUESTION:
R643: While watching a show on the U.S. Space program the
other night, I was struck by the fact that all of the engineers were
white males. Recognizing that the time depicted was the 1960s, I did
some research and found that the engineering field is still dominated
by white males. Data showed that while there has been some increase
in women and minorities in engineering, engineering graduates are
still 80 percent white male. This contrasts to fields like medicine
and law, where white males now make up less than half. Why aren't
more women and minorities drawn to engineering?
POSTED APRIL 5, 1999
Steve, 31, white male engineer, Houston , TX
ANSWER 1:
I find that question strange because there are quite a
large number of families of Asian background that encourage or even
force their children, male or female, to go into engineering programs
in universities. As a college student, I see many engineering
students of Asian background at my school.
POSTED APRIL 7, 1999
Cynthia, 19, female, Canadian of Chinese descent, Kingston, Ontario,
Canada
FURTHER NOTICE:
While I might dispute your statistics based on my own
observations as an engineering student at Virginia Tech, I do think I
have an answer to your final question. Consider that engineering
requires a very strong background in math and sceince, depending on
your field. It has only been recently that women and minorities were
given the same opportunities to study these subjects in high schools.
My mother, for instance, was advised to take "home economics" classes
in high school (sewing, cooking, etc.), while the men took college
prep courses. Now women have the chance to prove themselves. In
addition, the quality of education varies in certain areas. The sad
fact is that inner-city schools, where a great number of non-white
children are educated, often offer less-advanced courses. They
usually have to focus on getting students to pass basic skill tests
or similar exams. Add to all of this the still-lingering problem of
student tracking and things get worse. Non-white students have been
traditionally steered into vocational programs rather than college
prep, and that is only slowly changing.
POSTED APRIL 7, 1999
John K., 25, white male
<the-macs@geocities.com>,
Cranford, NJ
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Possibly women are not drawn to engineering because it is
not as people-oriented as medicine and law. Although there is a wide
variety of fields in engineering, all are related to natural and
man-made materials. There is no room for interpersonal relations
except with colleagues, and only pharmaceutical engineering comes
close to being perceived as helpful to others.
POSTED APRIL 7, 1999
W.D., female, 20 years in engineering field, PA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Unfortunately, the numbers you quote are pretty accurate.
Enrollments at most schools of engineering are still predominantly
white and male. The school with the best female population numbers
(Puerto Rico) is only at 20-25 percent female enrollment.
There are many reasons for this. Many have been mentioned,
including lack of preparation. However, this is a male-dominated
field, and it will take a long time to change that. Although more
women are entering the field and studying engineering, this has not
yet translated into more female engineers - there are still great
problems at the workplace, and many woman leave the field soon after
entering it because of the environment they encounter. Engineering
firms are still, by-and-large, run by members of the old-boy network.
Women are invited in, but not allowed to excel. Salaries for women
engineers are significantly lower than for males in the same field,
with the same experience. Sad, but true. There are programs in place
to help ease woman into science, math and engineering fields, but
they are slow in advancing. I work at a college of engineering with
few female faculty members or faculty of color. Lack of role models
is also a significant factor for advancement. Progress is being made,
but without significant involvement of the male engineering work
force, this progress will be slow - steady, but slow.
POSTED APRIL 13, 1999
S.M. Kolls, 33, white, college administrator, Society of Women
Engineers advisor,
<smkolls@coe.neu.edu>,
Boston, MA
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I have to disagree with the comment that women are
discouraged from pursuing careers in engineering because they suffer
from the good-old-boy syndrome and because they make less money for
the same work. As an engineer for a large corporation, my experience
is that women get paid on exactly the same scale and tend to get
breaks early in their careers (i.e. they are more likely to get a job
in the first place than a male applicant). After that, though,
ability takes over and pushes aside other considerations. I've seen
lots of very talented female engineers rise in the company, and I've
also seen a greater number of useless idiots get laid off, fired or
relegated to the bottom of the food chain.
POSTED APRIL 16, 1999
Jesse N., 39, white male engineer, Herzliya, Israel
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R642: I am a 20-year-old college student attending Florida
A&M University. Why do some African Americans find it hard to
project a positive attitude in the workplace and be courteous to
customers - especially those of the same race?
POSTED APRIL 5, 1999
Ke-Ro
<roulhack@hotmail.com>,
Tallahassee, FL
ANSWER 1:
I only hope that your asking this question doesn't lead to
a stereotype of the way African Americans interact with the public. I
think that for the most part it depends on where you come from. In
New York City for instance, I find that many people of all races are
unbelievably rude and obnoxious. Especially when riding the trains or
driving. NYC is so fast-paced that people rarely have time to think
of other people's feelings. I don't think it has anything to do with
race, as much as it has to do with the fact that New Yorkers are
spoiled, and we expect things to be a certain way. The fact that we
are privileged (in terms of resources) has a lot to do with why a lot
of us can be very impatient and arrogant at times. You'll notice that
in areas where the pace is slower, the people are more patient and
gentle. I mean the hustle and bustle can really get to you at times.
Not only that, but there are so many social issues that people in
large cities face that can be overwhelming. But for the most part
when you get to know a New Yorker, you'll find that we're really cool
people.
But, while you have made that assumption about the
African-American people you've come in contact with, remember that
other people around the world make that same assumption about
Americans on a whole - regardless of race or residency. People of
African descent are generally warm, loving people. Have you ever been
to countries in Africa, the West Indies or even the Deep South?
Please don't generalize all African Americans by a handful. Instead
get to know us beyond the surface. Black people are always judged
based on negative stereotypes or by a few negative interactions.
Break this dangerous cycle of prejudice, if not for your sake, then
for your children's. Also, keep in mind that one's environment
greatly affects the way he or she will interact with other people.
That's true for people of all races. I'm more than sure you've come
in contact with workers of other races who haven't been so nice to
their customers. If you are really serious about not falling for
stereotypes, then I suggest you assess your assessments.
POSTED APRIL 16, 1999
25, African American, New York, NY
FURTHER NOTICE:
I too have noticed that black clerks treat black customers
quite badly - and frankly, there is no excuse for it. The other day I
was in the post office and the black clerk greeted the white male
ahead of me with a smile and a friendly "How may I help you?" When I
stepped up, the smile disappeared and the clerk spat out a beligerent
"What do you want?" When I responded the first thing I wanted was to
be treated in the same manner as the previous customer, her attitude
only became worse, and I ended up walking out (and filing a written
complaint).
Unfortunately, this has become so commonplace that I often will go
to clerks of any other race rather than deal with this garbage. When
speaking of this with peers, they state it could be because I look
considerably younger than I am, because of the way I'm dressed (I
didn't realize business attire could solicit such volatile
responses), or the fact that these individuals don't have the best
jobs in the world. My response to all of that is, "So What?" I am a
paying customer just like anyone else, and I should be treated as if
they are actually pleased to be getting my money. Regardless of how I
look, dress, where I work, etc., as a paying customer I should be
treated with courtesy just like any other paying customer -
particularly when someone is treated like a human right in front of
me, and the only difference between the two of us is skin color.
Frankly, black people need to wake up; treating each other badly only
serves to continue to hold us back - and allows for other groups to
use this pathological activity to their advantage.
G.E. Long, 37, black female
<gelong@usa.net>, Chicago,
IL
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THE QUESTION:
R641: I live in a nice, but not fancy or rich, suburb north of
Detroit. My brother recently had some of his work buddies (they are
black) over to watch the NCAA playoffs. Three of the five guys were
from the ghettos (their word, not mine) of inner-city Detroit and
mentioned that they were very nervous about coming from the "City" to
the "Burbs." Does this surprise anyone else?
POSTED APRIL 1, 1999
C.H.P., white, Metro-Detroit , MI
ANSWER 1:
I grew up in Detroit and never felt comfortable in the
suburbs. I'm from a well-to-do, racially mixed section of the city,
but you have to understand that Detroit is mostly black, has a black
mayor, etc. So a lot of blacks aren't used to being around white
people - just as a lot of whites aren't used to being around blacks.
Also, you might remember the time that the mayor of Dearborn said he
didn't want blacks in his city, and the tensions between the city and
the suburbs, which are driven by race. Even though I grew up around
all types of people, I dread going to the suburbs because I'm always
afraid someone is going to shout racial epithets at me, or worse.
Suburbs have never been very welcoming to minorities, and it might
surprise a lot of white people to know that blacks are often very
uncomfortable in situations when there are no other blacks around,
just as whites are often terrified when they're the only whites
around. Also, your friends probably like living in Detroit and don't
see the suburbs as an "oasis" from the city.
POSTED APRIL 5, 1999
Black woman, 28, Chicago, IL
FURTHER NOTICE:
It doesn't surprise me. There's one suburb in the Boston
area where the police have stopped black motorists driving through it
so much that they have nick-named the offense "driving while
black."
POSTED APRIL 5, 1999
Susan, black female, Boston , MA
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
This does not surprise me. I can see how one would be
completely out of his/her element. I am a minority female who grew up
in Rochester Hills, MI, and I always felt uncomfortable there, even
though it was my "home." From my experience, the suburbs of Detroit
are very white and not exposed to any sort of culture beyond their
white world. Not to mention that since the suburbs are so monotonous,
anything outside of that monotone is treated as such and made an
outcast.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Indian female, 23
<Wynter35@hotmail.com>,
originally from the whitest suburb of Detroit
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