Best of the Week
of Jan. 16, 2000
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of Jan. 16, 2000, as
selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the
Week" entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing our
new database using our search form, or, in
the case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in our
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the new database as
well). In the Original Archives and the new database, you will find
questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. We encourage you to answer any questions relevant
to your demographic background, as well as to ask any provocative
question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily meant to
represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can provide a
window into the insights of an individual from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at our
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
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Order the
hilarious and heartwarming book on
Y?
"Why Do
White People
Smell Like Wet Dogs
When They Come
Out Of The Rain?"
ISBN: 0-9675971-0-2
Question:
A new employee has been hired to teach at the college where I work.
She used to be a male but has either had the required operation to
switch genders or is working very hard at looking as though she has.
This bothers me not at all. What I can't seem to understand is that
her partner is a female as well. Why go to all of the effort to cross
genders to have a relationship (I don't even know if homosexual
relationship is the right word) with someone of the same sex?
POSTED 1/16/2000
Richard T., London, NA, Canada, <baggywrinkle@home.com>, 46,
Male, Atheist, White/Caucasian, Straight, professor, Over 4 Years of
College , Middle class, Mesg ID 1162000121020
Responses:
Sexual orientation and gender identification are different
things. The former refers to sexual/physical/emotional feelings
toward another human being. The later refers to how one sees
oneself.
POSTED 1/20/2000
Alicia, Seattle, WA, United States, 31, Female, Black/African
American, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 1190043657
I saw a really good program on public television last week titled
�In the Life� that touched on this idea. The program highlights gay
and lesbian issues. One of the people interviewed was a transgendered
woman. She described her life as it is in the context of her work
environment (fire station captain). She said she had encountered the
same question that you are asking. She answered that even though her
physical being had transformed, her emotional and psychological
attractions had not. She was very blunt in saying that sexual
orientation and sexual identity are two completely different,
independent things. The program �In the Life� also has an associated
web site that, among other things, lists when programs are scheduled
to be aired. You may want to check the schedule and see if you can
catch this program (January episode) in your viewing area. The
address is www.inthelifetv.org.
POSTED 1/21/2000
Cheryl H., New Haven, CT, United States, Female, Lesbian, Over 4
Years of College, Mesg ID 1202000110839
Being a lesbian does not mean I wish to be a man. They are two
separate issues. A transgendered person, as I understand it, is born
with the physical anatomy of the sex opposite from the sex with which
he/she identifies him/herself. A transgendered person can be either
homo- or heterosexual.
POSTED 1/22/2000
Nancy S., Butler, PA, United States, <ranebow@iname.com>, 45,
Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian, Lesbian, Laborer, High School
Diploma , Lower middle class, Mesg ID 122200025225
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Question:
Many African-American female clerks, such as at the grocery checkout,
look past me instead of at me when they talk and don't respond to my
friendly demeanor. I know it's not personal. Is there a cultural
basis for it?
POSTED 1/16/2000
Ken D., Orlando, FL, United States, <mail@kentraco.com>, 58,
Male, White/Caucasian, Straight, Water Treatment, 4 Years of College
, Middle class, Mesg ID 112200050023
Responses:
In African-American culture it is considered disrespectful to
look directly into the eyes of a person who is either older or in a
position of authority. As a child I was always taught to lower my
eyes when my parents or grandparents spoke to me. On the flip side,
when an African American wants to show contempt or to challenge
someone's authority, we'll often stare directly at the person.
POSTED 1/20/2000
Rhonda, Lansing, MI, United States, Female, Black/African American,
Middle class, Mesg ID 119200091543
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Question:
I used to go out with a Scot who wore nothing under his kilt, and
insisted that this was the normal practice. Is this indeed so?
POSTED 1/16/2000
Pamela B., Portsmouth, NA, United Kingdom, 42, Female, Wiccan,
White/Caucasian, Teacher, 2 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
115200080922
Responses:
Yep, that's the traditional practice. The tartan is typically
made of a fairly thick wool that can be very warm, so there is very
little need for extra clothing underneath.
POSTED 1/20/2000
John K., Cranford, NJ, United States, <jkeegan3@home.com>, 26,
Male, Chemical Engineer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg
ID 1172000105947
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Question:
What do Americans really think the climate is like in Canada?
Specifically, winter/summer temperatures (please state metric or
imperial units), amount of snow/rain. In addition what percentage of
the Canadian population do you think owns dog sledding teams? This
question stems from both personal and second-hand experiences with
American visitors to Canada. In the spirit of this site people from
nations other than the United States are quite welcome to respond,
but please state your country of residence and where you did your
childhood education.
POSTED 1/16/2000
E. McKie, Thunder Bay, NA, Canada, 26, Female, White/Caucasian,
Geography/GIS Student, Over 4 Years of College, Mesg ID
115200035138
Responses:
I'm from Minnesota, and I think that we and Canada share a lot of
stereotypes. I've told people that I'm from Minnesota and they just
say 'brrr.' I think I visualize Canada as moderately cold (0-20'F)
with a lot of plains, and Toronto as large and gray. I also think
that you're all into cultural studies because I had a Canadian
teacher of that subject once. And I love your television shows (Red
Green, Newsroom)!
POSTED 1/19/2000
Emily, Minneapolis, MN, United States, 18, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Student, 2 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
11900112535
I was born in England but went through all of my primary and
secondary schooling in the United States. I have never been to Canada
but am looking forward to it. I've heard it is a very beautiful
country. As Canada is a rather large country, and located in a
temperate area, I would imagine it has a rather diverse climate, but
I am assuming you want a generalization. I would imagine that Canada
has mild summers (with temperatures averaging 65-75 degree F) and
fairly cold winters (with temperatures averaging from below freezing
to 40 degrees F). It would be very hard to generalize the
precipitation. Coastal areas would be much more prone to
precipitation than inland areas. As for dog-sledding teams, I doubt
they are common occurances in urban/suburban areas, and are probably
seen only slightly more in rural areas. (Perhaps as often as rodeo
teams in Texas?)
POSTED 1/19/2000
Shawn, Fort Worth, TX, United States, <pharaun@aol.com>, 24,
Male, Episcopalian, White/Caucasian, Gay, Flight Dispatcher/US Navy
Reserve, High School Diploma , Lower middle class, Mesg ID
11800100310
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Question:
A number of people I know who have either lived in or moved to the
South have remarked on the poor treatment of animals - especially
dogs - as contrasted with the rest of the country. Is this just a
class thing due to a higher concentration of low-income and
uneducated people, or is it somehow linked to Southern culture?
POSTED 1/16/2000
John, Chicago, IL, United States, 43, Male, Atheist, White/Caucasian,
Gay, System Analyst, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class,
Mesg ID 1132000121749
Responses:
I have lived in many parts of the North and South and have never
observed this distinction.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Frank, Orange Beach, AL, United States, 56, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Engineer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 116200064426
What you may be noticing is that in a rural environment (and the
South is largely rural), pets such as dogs and cats tend to spend
more time outdoors. The climate is warmer, and it just makes more
sense for them to be outside. I do not think these pets are treated
more shabbily than pets in other parts of the country.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Augustine, Columbia, SC, United States, 39, Male, White/Caucasian,
Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 116200092949
I have lived in the South my entire life and have never known
anyone to mistreat their pet. On the contrary, everyone I know treats
their pets as beloved family members. Also, the majority of these
people are college-educated or at least have some technical
training.
POSTED 1/22/2000
Lathan, Chester, SC, United States, 22, Female, Presbyterian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, College Student, 2 Years of College ,
Middle class, Mesg ID 117200015730
I agree. I have lived in the North and South and could tell you
disgusting stories about abuse that I have observed in the South. I
even discussed this with a co-worker while I was living there. I know
where I used to live the dog-catcher would go around town and write
citations if you did not have a doghouse in the winter and there was
a dog seen outside. I am not sure whether it is cultural or that the
animals on the whole are less domesticated, but I have observed a
notable and disturbing lack of interest in animal cruelty.
POSTED 1/22/2000
Merry, New York, NY, United States, 25, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
117200020859
Perhaps what your friends are observing is the distinction some
people make between 'working' dogs vs. 'house' dogs. A lot of people
who hunt have dogs who retrieve the kill for them. Dogs are also used
to help round up cattle in a pasture. Although these working dogs are
well-fed and well-taken care of, they generally aren't treated like
house pets - they don't come indoors, they aren't cuddled, they don't
have a collection of little squeaky toys, etc. Some people may see
this as mistreatment, and since hunting and raising cattle are
prevalent in the South, they may be stereotyping everyone here.
POSTED 1/22/2000
Jodi, Houston, TX, United States, 26, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Editor, 4 Years of College , Middle class,
Mesg ID 117200065745
I grew up in the North (not far from Chicago) and have lived in
the South for 11 years. I have not found the mistreatment of animals
to be any more abundant in Southern regions than Northern. However,
what you may be thinking of is a difference in how one views the
value of an animal. With the Christian religion, one believes that
God created man to be a steward of the world (see Genesis). With this
idea in mind it is important for the Christian to understand that
being a steward does not mean we worship the created. We only worship
the creator. Many people who say they love animals actually are
placing the animal in a position above the value of many. For a
Christian, this is wrong. Animals do not have more value than a human
being. Given the choice, a Christian is required by the laws of God
to choose the life of a human over the life of an animal. Given the
fact that many people might see this as less than 'humane,' and given
the fact that many Christians are located in the 'Bible Belt' (the
South), it would seem to continue that some might believe Southerners
are less caring of animals than Northerners. I for one would indeed
save the life of a human before that of a dog or cat. I, however, do
not believe this should put me in a class of people deemed less
caring about animals. Priorities must be made toward the human
race.
POSTED 1/22/2000
C.J., Richmond, VA, United States, 42, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Over 4 Years of College , Upper class,
Mesg ID 117200091749
Had dogs all my life and they get no less treatment than your
dogs. We do like to catch catfish and shoot deer, though.
POSTED 1/22/2000
Bubba, Mobile, AL, United States, 44, Male, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Executive, 4 Years of College , Upper
middle class, Mesg ID 1172000103435
I have lived in various areas of the country and have found that
people all over treat their animals about the same. Either they treat
them like the animals they are or they treat them like people -
clothing, etc. Many men in the South hunt and have hunting dogs,
which are treated much differently than pets. Maybe this has
something to do with the perception.
POSTED 1/22/2000
Cheryl, Atlanta, GA, United States, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, 4 Years of College , Upper class, Mesg ID
11900115621
I don't know what kind of treatment of animals you may have
observed here in the South, but my suspicion is that you have fallen
victim to a popular stereotype. As another respondent stated, I also
have lived in both the North and South and have never witnessed
animals being treated any worse in one part of the country than in
others. If you get your information from the liberal media, consider
the source. If they portray most Southerners as being poorly educated
and belonging to a lower socioeconomic group in general, that's their
reason for pushing this stereotype. It's no more true than the
popular stereotype of gay men abducting children off the street and
forcing them into a homosexual lifestyle - or have you heard that
stereotype?
POSTED 1/22/2000
Pete S., Winter Park, FL, United States, 51, Male, White/Caucasian,
Technical Trainer, 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
119200091037
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Question:
Why do white men immediately lower their eyes when a black woman they
were just looking at (usually in the street) makes eye contact with
them?
POSTED 1/16/2000
Denise C., New York, NY, United States, 37, Female, Christian,
Black/African American, Straight, Executive Secretary, High School
Diploma , Lower middle class, Mesg ID 114200045407
Responses:
I've noticed something similar myself, but more of a general
behavior. It seems like people in New York City (where I note you are
from) tend to avoid eye contact when in transit. I work in a section
of Queens, and it is the same way. And it's fairly true across all
racial/cultural divisions as well. Only people of similar
race/culture seem to want to have eye contact. I think it might have
something to do with the culture around here. I don't think it is
something specific to black women/white men.
POSTED 1/20/2000
John K., Cranford, NJ, United States, <jkeegan3@home.com>, 26,
Male, Chemical Engineer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg
ID 1172000105445
I have always found black women attractive. In my hometown of
Spokane, I have seen only a few black women. But last summer I got to
go back East. The first place I went was Chicago. I remember
thinking, "Wow, I did not know there were this many black women."
When I was downtown, I met some lovely black women, and they showed
me all over the town. I am still friends with them. I noticed a lot
of black women in Chicago are really nice. Then I went to New York. I
remember thinking the same thing: "Look at all these black women."
When I was in the mall, I saw some black women and thought they were
making eye contact with me, so I started to approach them. I heard
their voices get loud, and one talked to this black male and pointed
my way. He approached me. He asked why I was looking at his sis in a
racist way. I told him I thought she was attractive. He started
laughing and said "my bad" and walked off. I noticed in New York when
I made eye contact with black females, I got a hostile look from
them. In general, a lot of my friends who are white males are afraid
to approach black women, but they do find them attractive. Maybe
black women have a grudge? Or maybe white males think that if they
mess up in a relationship with a black female, they'll have to answer
to her big bro or pops?
POSTED 1/22/2000
Chris L., Spokane, WA, United States,
<crazzyfish@netscape.net>, 25, Male, Christian, White/Latino,
Straight, 2 Years of College , Lower class, Mesg ID 1202000104159
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Question:
The phrase "nice guys finish last" must be true. It seems like women
are only interested in jerks, morons and deadbeats. They say they
want a nice guy, but they end up with just the opposite. As a former
"nice guy," I've been getting the attention of women by treating them
like I don't care about them. That seems to get a response. I need to
know what the real deal is ladies. I think I'm better off treating
whores like ladies, and ladies like whores. If you think I'm wrong,
let me know.
POSTED 1/13/2000
Lamar, Detroit, MI, United States, 29, Male, Black/African American,
Straight, Technical School, Middle class,Mesg ID 1132000121042
Responses:
I am a young woman who goes for the nice guys, and I can only
tell you my opinion. I know many people, men and women, who feel the
same way. I figure that you are trying to 'woo' women by showing your
nice side first. You are assuming that you are meeting women who
value that! The plain truth is: Don't give them the nice guy unless
you are sure that they deserve it. If you make yourself too open,
available and giving to someone who will not appreciate it, than it's
going to be "give them an inch and they will take a mile." Overall,
it sounds to me as though you are not meeting the kind of women you
want. It sickens me because I know firsthand that feeling like this
makes you frustrated and bitter. Your nice girl is out there as sure,
as you are out there, too! Reevaluate where you are going to meet
these women. Don't start treating women like 'whores'
indiscriminately or you will perpetutate the same thing you are
trying to absolve. Remember the golden rule - perhaps those you have
met have been in your position. You have also got to stop taking
peoples' inability to return your kindness personally. Don't let this
handful or peoples' behavior determine your reality of yourself or
the world - let alone change you from a kind soul to a jerk.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Kris, Wharton, NJ, United States, 24, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
113200030520
Women don't want a jerk, but they don't want a doormat, either.
There is a lot of middle ground between these extremes. Women want
guys who will treat them with respect and kindness, and who they can
respect as well. Women want a man with strength, substance and depth,
someone with whom they can have a multi-dimensional relationship. If
a man's only purpose in life seems to be pleasing her and submitting
to her every whim, how much substance can he have? A man like that
wouldn't seem to have much strength, either. Men also need to have
their own things going on in their lives; otherwise they will smother
the woman. Women want men who they can trust and who they can talk
to. Of course, not every woman looks for this type of man, and not
every woman is looking for a man with whom to have a long-term
relationship. If a woman is just looking for a good time, the bad
boys are better, because the nice guys get serious too quickly.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Julianna H., Santa Clara, CA, United States, 25, Female,
Hispanic/Latino, Systems Analyst, 4 Years of College , Middle class,
Mesg ID 113200041219
Well Lamar, you are right: Nice guys finish last, but then again,
so do nice girls. There are many reasons why some (not all) girls
like bad boys. Some girls want a guy they can change, someone they
can mold into their prize. Some girls want someone they think needs
their help. I guess that's from lack of attention in their past. And
some girls are just selfish, with that "step-on-or-get-stepped-on"
attitude. Not all girls are like this, though. I guess that's called
"looking for that special someone." I don't think you should turn
into a jerk. Do you really want that kind of girl? The one who
doesn't want you for you? Be nice again. Love hurts, but if you give
up, you'll never really get what you truly want.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Theresa, Anchorage, AK, United States, 21, Female, Native
American/American Indian, Straight, Teacher, 4 Years of College,Mesg
ID 1142000102510
I'll agree that it seems that 'bad boys' get the girls; however,
birds of a feather often flock together as well. What makes a guy
'bad'? Usually a poor sense of self-worth. In turn they act out and
take out their own sense of inadequacy and low self-esteem on others.
The girls they attract are usually those suffering from a similarly
low sense of self-worth - low enough to think that they need to put
up with the antics of the 'bad boys.' When given the chance and
enough encouragement (persistence on the part of the 'nice guy') most
women will realize that being treated nicely and with respect by a
'good guy' is much better than the 'bad boy' alternative, especially
if the 'good guy' makes her feel positive about herself, something
'bad boys' don't often do. In closing, be a 'good guy.' You'll be
doing both you and her a favor.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Shelly, Pittsburgh, PA, United States, 24, Female, White/Caucasian,
student and researcher, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg
ID 1142000104936
I spent many, many years feeling bad about me, and unworthy of or
at least uncomfortable around, 'nice guys.' I figured they'd find me
out as being uncertain about my looks/future/politics/etc., and dump
me. So rather than take a chance on a good one, I decided to waste my
time with the wrong ones - the sorry ones, the ones who treat you
poorly or with disrespect. Finally, I chanced into dating two
different, absolutely wonderful men who treated me with great
respect, intense interest in me and my brain and my body and my
thoughts, and with great affection (thanks, David and Britt). I owe
them both a debt of gratitude. I can say now that I'm a really nice
girl, with a strong sense of self, and of what I'm worth as a person.
I am thrilled to share my life now with a wonderful boyfriend who's a
bit older and wiser than I, and he is so incredibly kind, passionate,
interested, loving, attentive, blah blah blah. A true prince. I'm
honored to be with him and thrilled that he's in my life. He's not
what I thought I was looking for, but he's exactly what and who I
needed. Hang in there. Keep being kind, attentive, honest,
open-minded and sweet. You'll meet her, but it might just take a
while.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Kat, Birmingham, AL, United States, 29, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, web developer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg
ID 114200051115
My whole adult life I've noticed the same thing. As a 'nice guy'
I've often been turned down by women who then go on to date jerks.
I've also noticed that the guys who are the biggest jerks seem to get
the most dates. I'd also like to hear what women have to say about
this.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Brian, Minneapolis, MN, United States, 33, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, 4 Years of College , Lower class, Mesg ID
114200070326
I have a theory about this: I think women tend to like the jerks
because we women are very attracted to confidence in men. So
attracted, in fact, that we err on the side of the assholes. Given a
choice between a guy who is so-called 'nice' and a guy who is a bit
of a jerk, with equal levels of confidence, we will pick the jerk
because we mistake the cockiness of the jerk for confidence.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Jennifer, Miami/Washington, DC, FL, United States, 24, Female,
Black/African American, Straight, Graduate student, Over 4 Years of
College , Middle class, Mesg ID 114200081322
Don't underrate the power of chemistry to make people stupid.
Women date guys who attract them, and lot of the time there's a
component of Dad in the attractiveness equation. How many parents are
sane? My Dad was a psychopath. I ended up dating psychotics and
deadbeats for a long time. None of them looked like my father, but
there were key ways in which they acted like my father. Psychological
abusiveness and inability to love were key 'Dad' signals that
triggered 'Dad' chemistry. I was young then. I don't take any of that
crap now. But by refusing the crap, I find myself mostly dateless
these days. No big loss, as far as I'm concerned; who needs the
grief? That doesn't mean nice guys aren't out there. It's just that
they got snapped up early by women smarter than I was. In my age
bracket today, nice guys with brains and a real job are already
married or seeing someone quasi-permanently. (I don't date 'nice'
married men; they disqualify themselves by asking.) You may be seeing
a lot of sweet young things with no clue about the guys they're
dating. They'll grow out of it, but they may get really bitter about
men before they do. If so, they'll quit dating altogether. As for
older gals (30+), they're dealing with the dregs for one of three
reasons: (1) The guy is stinking rich, and she plans to get half of
the action. My golddigger sister made this work for her twice - and
the guys never caught on to her barracuda nature. (2) Some girlfriend
told her she won't meet nice guys by staying at home. She's got to at
least get in the game, be visible, be available, go out. Maybe her
current, dreadful boyfriend knows someone nicer, someone she can dump
the jerk for when the time is right. (3) She's scared that no one
will ever love her. In that frame of mind, any boyfriend is better
than no boyfriend at all.
POSTED 1/17/2000
T. Lynn, San Diego, CA, United States, 30+, Female, Deist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class,Mesg
ID 1142000110925
Whore? What kind of so-called nice guy would call any woman a
'whore'? I've met plenty of nice guys who are undatable in a 'nerdy'
kind of way. Any emotionally healthy woman would never date a man who
treated her like a whore.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Allison, Los Angeles, CA, United States, 25, Female, Straight, Over 4
Years of College , Lower middle class, Mesg ID 115200015048
Yep, most women do find the 'bad' guy more attractive, and for
various reasons. My reason is mostly about committment. If I begin to
date a bad guy and want to break the relationship off, I feel less
guilty about it, feel more vindicated by it, worry less about
maintaining a relationship as friends after the breakup, and will
spend less time dwelling on it after the fact. A nice guy involves a
lot more committment, as I don't want to chance hurting his feelings.
An independent, self-confident woman often wants a man in her life as
an accessory and fears being truly needed or, gasp, truly needing a
'nice' guy. But despair not, when a woman begins to think about
marriage, the nice guys do come out on top
POSTED 1/17/2000
Rachel M., Montreal, Quebec, NA, Canada, 21, Female, White/Caucasian,
student, 2 Years of College, Mesg ID, 115200011359
I hope your experiences don't make you assume all women are like
that. It all depends on the individual, their experiences and their
motivations. Also, pressure to 'appropriately' present oneself in
front of others often gets in the way of what people actually feel
and think and want to say. More importantly, why would you want a
woman who apparently doesn't want a 'nice guy' like you? If she can't
appreciate you for who you are, it's most probably her loss. Forget
about her and direct your efforts toward looking for a woman who will
understand you and appreciate you for who you are - for whom you
would not have to change. I know it is so much easier said than done,
but I took my own advice some time ago. Those countless lonely weeks
and months were much more than worth the wonderful person I
eventually met. Decide what kind of a person you would like to be
with and don't let her go once you meet her.
POSTED 1/17/2000
A.V., Brooklyn, NY, United States, 20, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, college student, Mesg ID 1172000123547
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respond
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Question:
I am a middle-class Jewish guy with strong Progressive/Liberal
political ideas. I admit that I lead a pretty sheltered life. I was
wondering if minorities see people like myself, with ideas like mine,
as pompous?
POSTED 1/12/2000
Adam N., Encino, CA, United States, 36, Male, Jewish,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Computer Technician, 4 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 1122000122638
Responses:
You are a minority - you are Jewish. I am also Jewish, but my
life is no longer so sheltered. I think many bleeding-heart liberals
(as I am) tend to have a rather simplistic view of things. But you
would have to be more specific about what your ideas are in order for
us to tell you if they are pompous or not.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Beth, Anchorage, AK, United States, Female, Jewish, Mesg ID
112200080033
Minorities in general have political opinions and orientations
that are as equally diverse, if not moreso, as those of whites. In
some of the circles of Chicano activists I've participated in, you'd
be astounded by the variety of views and opinions, and we all come
from pretty much the same, if not similar, backgrounds. As for how a
working- or lower-class minority would view a person of sheltered
background who holds progressive/liberal ideals, they'd probably have
similar views as that of many white working-class people. To speak
frankly, some folks might see you as naive or unaware of the issues
we face daily, but others would not. Speaking on behalf of Latinos,
we've had it a lot better when rich liberals controlled California
than rich conservatives (Pete Wilson, etc.).
POSTED 1/17/2000
Dan, Los Angeles area, CA, United States, 21, Male, Pentecostal
Christian, Hispanic/Latino, student/dishwasher, Lower middle class,
Mesg ID 114200033856
I don't think your ideas are pompous. I'm not from a racial
minority but I am from a sexual minority and I think the more
accepting people are, in general, the better society will be.
POSTED 1/17/2000
Madeleine, Sydney, NA, Australia, 23, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Lesbian, Accountant, 4 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 115200020434
I wouldn't say pompous so much as potentially naive and
paternalistic, an "I know what's best for 'you people'" attitude.
When I meet someone from a background such as yours, I appreciate
their sympathy while at the same time wonder if they really
understand as much about me as they think they do. Sometimes
sheltered liberals harbor hidden prejudices (more often class than
racial/ethnic) or are acting out of guilt rather than more healthy
motives. So I usually am very cautious around them until I find out
what is behind their surface. What I would suggest to you is to put
your beliefs to the test. Get involved with a political or charitable
group that deals with the needs of us 'others' you don't have much
contact with. It may shatter some or all of your illusions about what
you think we need, but it will definitely be better for you and us in
the long run.
POSTED 1/17/2000
A.C.C., W Lafayette, IN, United States, Over 4 Years of College ,
Lower class, Mesg ID 1142000105433
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