Best of the Week
of March 3, 2002
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of March 3, 2002, as
selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the
Week" entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing
Y?'s database using the search form, or, in
the case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in the
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the database as
well). In the Original Archives, as well as in the database, you will
find questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer any questions
relevant to your demographic background, as well as to ask any
provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily
meant to represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can
provide a window into the insights of an individual from that
group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
The book
on Y? is here!
"Why Do White People Smell Like Wet
Dogs
When They Come Out Of The Rain?"
Order it here!
Read the
Associated Press story on "Wet Dogs"
Question:
I'm an African-American female who attends Stevenson High
School in Livonia, Mich. I have noticed that stereotypes are very
strong here. I am diverse and listen to everything from N'Sync to
Eve, Godsmack to LeeAnn Rimes and Mariah Carey. I wear Abercrombie
and American Eagle, date all races, my name is 'Jodie' and I talk
properly. Often kids respond to me by saying 'that's weird' when I
don't fit their stereotype of black people. Why are they so unworldly
and don't know the difference between something factual and
stereotypical when it comes to race? I feel like a foreigner in my
own neighborhood. People should grow up and accept others as they
come, not as a whole.
POSTED 3/2/2002
Jodie, Livonia, MI, United States,
<GlassMountain02@yahoo.com>, 17, Female, Black/African
American, Straight, Student and retail, High School Diploma, Upper
class, Mesg ID 312002105904
Responses:
I completly understand where you're coming from. I'm a young
black woman who lived in the suburbs all my life. There weren't very
many black people in my neighborhood or at the schools I attended,
and as a result, most of my friends were white. I would try to make
friends with the few black kids who went to my school, but they
didn't like me because I didn't 'act black enough' for them. I don't
speak ebonics and really don't like rap music. All my white friends
listened to rock and so did I, and I still do. I know it gets really
irritating having to put up with people's ignorant comments regarding
your taste in music and the fact that you are educated and that it
shows when you speak. Just keep being you. Wear the clothes you want
to wear, listen to whatever music you like and don't worry about what
anyone else has to say about it. There's nothing wrong with you.
POSTED 3/7/2002
Renee, Eastpointe, MI, United States, 23, Female, Christian,
Black/African American, Straight, clerical, Technical School, Middle
class, Mesg ID 32200211346
Don't sweat it. The problem is that most kids in high school don't
tend to think with their own minds, but with the thoughts that have
been supplied to them, either by their families, friends or
television/movies. When something they see doesn't quite fit the mold
that they expect it to, they're surprised. I think your diversity is
a great thing. When I was going to high school in Tampa, the kids
thought I was strange for listening to A Tribe Called Quest, then
switching CDs to listen to The Beatles or John Coltrane. Now I talk
to my old friends and see that they're beginning to discover the wide
range of tastes that I enjoyed at a much younger age. I think the
generation coming up now (people from 10-16) will be the ones who
will really find themselves part of a melting pot. Until now, the
supposed 'melting pot' that is America has really been more of a
tossed salad. Sure, there's a number of different things thrown in,
but they don't quite blend. There are more young people like yourself
who I know of than there were when I was younger. Keep doing what
you're doing, and don't change yourself to alter someone's reaction
to you. Keep 'em on their toes!
POSTED 3/7/2002
Sam F., Orlando, FL, United States,
<eyeself@crosswinds.net>, 22, Male, White/Caucasian, High
School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID 33200210539
I admire your courage and individuality. A few years ago, I taught
a journalism workshop for minority high school students. I knew young
African-American students who spoke grammatical English, worked hard
and had every reason to expect to be successful one day. And yet the
things they were telling me were appalling. They told me that other
black kids accused them of 'acting white,' as if working hard and
being responsible were a white thing, and the opposite was black. You
just keep being yourself. The whole world will hear from you one day.
POSTED 3/7/2002
Kenneth, Milwaukee, WI, United States, 47, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, writer, Over 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 33200211548
You're right, it would be great if people would accept each other
as individuals, no matter what. But guess what? It'll never happen in
our lifetimes. The best thing you can do is accept yourself for the
unique and multi-dimensional person you are and pay no attention to
the boneheads who criticize you or question your choices. By the way,
I like James Brown, John Williams and Willie Nelson, I'm learning
Esperanto, and I just got through brewing myself a nice pot of chai.
POSTED 3/7/2002
E.D., Kansas City, MO, United States, 45, Female, Black/African
American, Mesg ID 33200264545
You answered your own question. You don't fit the stereotype. You
obviously are a bright, intelligent person who does her own thinking,
while most of your friends and classmates are still immature enough
to let TV and others do their thinking for them. You like the music
you like regardless of the gender or race of the musician. This shows
a level of intelligence and maturity some people never reach. Quit
worrying about the others and just continue to be you. I know this is
hard to do in high school and you will find that this attitude is
also common outside of school in the 'adult' world. The best you can
do is to keep on being yourself. You sound like a great person. Don't
let the idiots change you.
POSTED 3/7/2002
Deb, Chicago, IL, United States, 49, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Lesbian, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID
34200290129
To
respond
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Question:
To lesbians: What makes you want to be with another woman? How
does it feel when you realize you are a lesbian? Do you feel
comfortable telling other people? What do you look for when you try
and find a woman?
POSTED 3/2/2002
Alexandra, Miami, FL, United States, <Metich14@aol.com>,
20, Female, Christian, Hispanic/Latino, Straight, student, 2 Years of
College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 227200235716
Responses:
Do you know how passionate and loving and intense and emotional a
woman can be? It is just those things that make it so wonderful to be
with another woman. However, it is just those same things that make
it so difficult for two women to be together, too. Still, the good so
outweighs the bad; at least for me it does. As far as how if feels
when you realize you are a lesbian, it is kind of like a breath of
air that you have been struggling to get for a long time and then you
finally get it - the relief you feel. That sense of knowing where you
belong and who you are is really hard to explain. I don't have a
problem with who I am or letting other people know I'm a lesbian;
however, I do not feel that I need to flaunt it around other people.
I agree that heterosexuals don't feel like their sexuality defines
them, and it should not be a defining characteristic of gays and
lesbians - it is not one of mine. I don't walk up to people and say,
'Hi I am Tina and I am a lesbian' - if they ask me, I tell them. I
don't look for anything in a woman, really. I don't go out and 'try
to find a woman.' To me, it is not about 'looking' for something or
someone, it is about making a connection between two souls. When you
feel it, you know, just like in a straight relationship.
POSTED 3/7/2002
Tina M., Tulsa, OK, United States, 32, Female, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Lesbian, Business Owner, Over 4 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 332002122458
You ask some very hard questions. I don't know what makes me want
to be with another woman. I just know it is right for me. When you
first realize you are gay, it can be a very scary thing, but at the
same time it is very liberating because you can stop living a lie.
Whether you come out to other people or just to yourself, it is as if
a weight is removed. I don't generally tell people, they pretty well
guess, but in any case, no one's sleeping arrangements are anyone
else's business. I don't see where it matters. I don't personally
look for other women, as I have been in a relationship for 15 years.
Someone else will have to answer that one for you.
POSTED 3/7/2002
Deb, Chicago, IL, United States, 49, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Lesbian, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID
34200284030
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respond
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Question:
Why do black folks riot when they don't get their way?
POSTED 2/19/2002
Dan C., Omaha, NE, United States, Male, Mesg ID
216200285225
Responses:
I think that is a very narrow-minded question. You can't
generalize and say that 'black folks riot when they don't get their
way.' I am a senior at a Big Ten University and have experienced
firsthand two riots in the four years I have been here, and believe
me, the students were neither black nor rioting for any specific
reason.They were rioting just to riot. The riots you are probably
referring to were a result of what they believed to be an injustice
(i.e. Rodney King's assaulters not being found guilty). Also, what
many people tend not to know is that there was a very large
proportion of the Latino community involved in those riots. So in
short, you could also ask the same questions about whites, given the
recent riots on various college campuses such as Colorado University,
Iowa State, Penn State, the universities of Wisconsin at Whitewater
and Oshkosh, Southern Illinois University, the University of
Delaware, Michigan State, Washington State, Plymouth State, the
University of Akron and the University of New Hampshire, and
Woodstock '99. And the reasons for these riots? Usually from the
results of a football game or an enforcement of underage drinking. On
the other hand, the people of Cincinnati were angered because of 15
black men shot and killed by police since 1995. It's just something
to think about.
POSTED 2/25/2002
Brandess, E. Lansing, MI, United States, 21, Female, Black/African
American, Straight, student, 4 Years of College, Upper middle class,
Mesg ID 225200224429
Haven't you been watching the news in the Middle East? Haven't you
seen all the soccer riots in Europe, going back as long as I can
remember? Haven't you see the news of the white Argentinians rioting?
OK, maybe you don't watch international news. How about all the white
Cubans who rioted after Elian Gonzales was given back to his father?
How about all the old newsreels of white Southerners who rioted to
keep blacks from integrating? Are you a sports fan? Maybe you don't
notice that sports fans of all backgrounds tend to riot after
championships, Super Bowls and so on. Dr. King said that a riot is
the crying out of the unheard. Often that's true, though the sports
riots mostly seem like drunken fools getting rowdy and stupid. But
rioters come in all backgrounds. During the Los Angeles riots in
1992, even foreign tourists got arrested for looting. A better
question would be why you have such a selective memory.
POSTED 3/2/2002
A.C.C., Phoenix, AZ, United States, Male, Mexican and American
Indian, Mesg ID 2202002123924
Which 'black people' are you talking about? Some people who are
black riot. I don't riot, and I'm black. Couldn't I just as easily
ask the question, 'Why do whites get an almost orgasmic pleasure from
burning crosses on black people's lawns?' Both your posted query and
my rhetorical query are just the same.
POSTED 3/2/2002
Me, na, SD, United States, Black/African American, Mesg ID
228200223131
First, black folks are not the only ones to riot. Riots are the
product of frustrations with institutions in any given society. So,
if what you feel you are entitled to as a citizen is not being
honored over a period of time (such as quality schools, equal chances
in the economy, fair representation in politics and the media, fair
treatment by law enforcement) that frustration can boil over into a
riot. riots seem like such a 'black thing' in the United States
because over the past 40 or so years, blacks have been the most vocal
group when speaking about social injustice and inequity. Dr. King's
speech does not start out by talking about his 'dream.' He talks
about cashing in the promissory note of equality and justice issued
by the government. For blacks, politically, economically and
socially, there remains a great divide (and for other people of
color). To use Los Angeles as an example, a major reason for that
riot in the early '90s is not because they did not get what they
want, but that four white police men were found innocent of brutally
beating a black man, which was caught on film. Blacks in Los Angeles
have been indicting the police on brutality and profiling since
before the '60s, and that trial proved that no one cared about their
situation. So rioting is the result of frustration, and if your
'group' has consistently been marginalized or silenced without much
return, what do you think your 'group' would do?
POSTED 3/2/2002
Joseph, Lansing, MI, United States, 31, Male, Baptist,
Black/African American, Straight, grad student instructor, Over 4
Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 221200260042
People of all races riot when they are oppressed. The French
rioted under King Louis when the masses were tired of being hungry
all the time. They call it the French Revolution. The Boston Tea
Party was a riot wherein colonial white Americans rioted against
imperial Britain's taxes on tea. To this day there have to be riot
police at soccer games in Europe, where mobs wait in the crowds to
blow their stacks over a referee's decision. There have been riots in
China, Asia and the Middle East; therefore, anywhere people are
oppressed, they will rise up.
POSTED 3/2/2002
Missjohn316, Washington, DC, United States, 29, Female, Christian,
Afro-Caribbean, Straight, Administrative Assistant, Technical School,
Middle class, Mesg ID 2212002112143
Probably for the same reason that any large group of people riot.
All you need is a large crowd, some type of tension and a trigger.
Take the recent riot in Salt Lake City after the Olympics, for
example. You had a large group of people, the tension was that the
party was going to end. And the trigger was one idiot who threw a
bottle at a cop. The cop immediately goes into defense mode. Another
bottle is thrown, cops go into 'stop this now, or someone is going to
get hurt' mode, which then makes the mob get defensive, and you know
the rest. A large factor there was alcohol. But mob mentality can
affect any large group of sober people as well. If I am not mistaken,
an overwhelming majority of those involved in Salt Lake were 'white,'
or hadn't you noticed? If that isn't enough proof, there was a
college out West, I believe in Colorado a few years back, that had a
very big riot (cars flipped, large fires set) and the students were
again predominantly white. Hmmmm, maybe the guy who started it was
black?
POSTED 3/2/2002
Dave, Long Island, NY, United States, 33, Male, Spiritual - Non
Traditional, White/Caucasian, Straight, Technical Manager, Technical
School, Middle class, Mesg ID 226200280141
I've never had to question why blacks riot. What has baffled me is
why were there riots at Woodstock '99? More than $1 million in
property damage and a dozen reported rapes because white boys can't
control their emotions or actions when they're listening to their
pseudo-hip-hop metal fusion? Because white parents are lazy and
uninvolved and refuse to instill objective values in their children,
either because they have a perverse desire to be 'liked' by them or
that it's simply too much trouble to parent a child now that nannies
are taboo? Why the riot every time there's a meeting of more than two
nations like Seattle and stuff like that? Because the fattened
piglets of well-to-do whites are so profoundly bored with living in a
coccoon of privilege, wealth and security that we allow them to play
at some teasets-and-teddybears communist revolution at the expense of
nearly everybody else? Why are L.A. and Cincinnati considered 'ape
parties'?
POSTED 3/2/2002
Paris, St. Paul, MN, United States, 35, Male, Agnostic,
Black/African American, Straight, 4 Years of College, Lower middle
class, Mesg ID 2262002110032
I don't know ... why do white folks riot when their team loses (or
wins)?
POSTED 3/2/2002
E.D., Kansas City, MO, United States, 45, Female, Black/African
American, Mesg ID 227200243534
To
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Question:
If you've grown up in luxury (multi-millionaire family) and
enjoyed the finer things in life all your life, would you work as,
say, a waitress or security guard if misfortune hit and your family
found itself broke? I'm not talking about people like struggling
musicians or actors who have an unexpected hit or two and are
suddenly rolling in dough, then lose it all in a wild lifestyle. I'm
talking about people who come from families who have been rich for
generations. How low would you go if the money disappeared?
POSTED 3/2/2002
missjohn316, Washington, DC, United States, 29, Female,
Christian, Afro-Caribbean, Straight, administrative assistant,
Technical School, Middle class, Mesg ID 2272002103933
To
respond
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Question:
What are people in France like? What kind of customs and
courtesies are there in France, such as greetings, visiting, eating,
gestures, personal appearance, group meetings, traveling and
communicating interpersonally?
POSTED 3/2/2002
Heather H., W. Jefferson, NC, United States,
<HAH_2000_18@yahoo.com>, 19, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Full-time student, 2 Years of College,
Lower middle class, Mesg ID 228200271828
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Question:
If non-whites (especially blacks) are seen as 'inferior,' then
why do so many white people risk melanoma cancer just for the sake of
getting dark? Does darkening your skin mean that you're not satisfied
with your natural coloring? Why not be proud of the skin you were
born in? Thanks for any insight you can give me.
POSTED 3/2/2002
J.B., Louisville, KY, United States, Female, Black/African
American, Nurse, Mesg ID 32200254037
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