Best of the Week
of March 14, 2004
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of March 14, 2004, as
selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries
from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s database
using the search form , or, in the case of
posted before April 24, 1999, in the Original
Archives (all questions from the Original Archives have
been entered into the database as well). In the Original Archives, as
well as in the database, you will find questions that have received
answers, as well as questions still awaiting responses. You are
encouraged to answer any questions relevant to your demographic
background, as well as to ask any provocative question you desire.
Answers posted are not necessarily meant to represent the views of an
entire demographic group, but can provide a window into the insights
of an individual from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop
at Y?'s guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
Question:
I just wanted to know if any gays are offended by 'Queer Eye
for the Straight Guy'?
POSTED 3/17/2004
Kerrie, Raleigh, NC, United States, 23, Female, Black/African
American, Straight, Media Relations Representative, Over 4 Years of
College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 3102004122828
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Question:
I'm a Filipino. Can I fall in love with an Asian Indian woman?
It seems Indians are tied to their culture, and their culture doesn't
permit interracial relationships.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Jeff, Manila, NA, Philippines,
<jeffreymatawaran@mediabanc.ws>, 24, Male, Catholic, Asian,
Straight, Marketing Analyst, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 3122004120004
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Question:
Why is it that Caucasian people don't like talking to their
friends of different races or ethnic backgrounds about their
differences? Why is this subject all of a sudden so uncomfortable to
discuss?
POSTED 3/17/2004
Arree C., Chicago, IL, United States,
<aclay@depaulstudents.edu>, 30, Female, Christian,
Black/African American, Straight, student, 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 312200492129
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Question:
How did the Nazis get the Jewish people to wear the yellow
Stars of David? My theory is they fed them some line of positive B.S.
and then when everyone was wearing them, they changed their tune. And
why didn't they rip them off when they found out it was being used
for a nefarious purpose?
POSTED 3/17/2004
klowdermom, Springtown, TX, United States, 50, Female, Pagan,
Lesbian, nurse, Technical School, Lower middle class, Mesg ID
315200455845
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Question:
So how come I don't feel squeamish putting suntan lotion on a
girl's back, but straight men won't put it on mine?
POSTED 3/3/2004
Mark, New York, NY, United States, 47, Male, White/Caucasian,
Gay, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID 33200491932
Responses:
I think some men are conflicted about touching other men, simple
as that. I guess they're worried about what it might indicate about
their own sexuality, or how it might appear to others. Seems silly to
me. Just as a data point, I'm a straight guy, and I'm not conflicted
about rubbing suntan lotion on anybody - male, female, gay, straight,
whatever. I may be sensitized to the necessity for suntan lotion
because I burn easily!
POSTED 3/11/2004
Todd, New York, NY, United States, 37, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Writer, Over 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 372004124503
I can tell you that any touch is, for me, an expression of
intimacy. That's not to say it's necessarily sexual. But for me to
agree to touch, there must be an emotional connection. Being a
Midwesterner, I'm, unfortunately, uncomfortable hugging or touching
anyone without that connection. That said, if I were to put suntan
lotion on a woman, there would definitely be sexual electricity
flying around in my head. Maybe it's one of the curse's of being a
straight guy. But because that level of intimacy or comfort doesn't
tend to be part of a straight man's male friendships, I probably
wouldn't put lotion on any of my friends, nor would they ask me. And
because touch is so tied in with intimacy and sexuality, I would be
reluctant to put any on you. Sorry Mark!
POSTED 3/11/2004
Jeff, Bloomington, IL, United States, 46, Male, White/Caucasian,
Straight, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID 3102004120147
Because they don't want to be thought of as gay (but you already
knew that).
POSTED 3/11/2004
E.D., Kansas City, MO, United States, 47, Female, Black/African
American, Mesg ID 311200411304
Straight guys are weird - they have such hangups about
homosexuality. I'm a straight female and wouldn't be at all bothered
putting lotion on a lesbian. But straight guys would consider it gay
to do the same for a gay guy. I wish I knew why - it's just so
strange.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Jay, New York, NY, United States, Female, Straight, Mesg ID
3152004123317
Does the girl you're putting lotion on have the thoughts going
through her mind like, 'Does he like me? Is he doing this because he
likes me?' That's really the problem. There is always a fear that a
gay man likes every straight guy they see. And they probably won't
touch you in such a way because they fear you may like it, or like
them, or something along those lines. It's a level of comfort. The
girl has nothing to fear because you're gay. The guy, on the other
hand, may still have nothing to fear, per se, but still the thoughts
linger in his mind.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Jesse C., Palm Coast, FL, United States, Mesg ID 316200480730
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Question:
Do African-American parents discipline their children
differently than white parents, and if so, how and why?
POSTED 3/17/2004
Kathy J., Baltimore, MD, United States,
<katjonesmd@aol.com>, Female, Mesg ID 3162004122954
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Question:
Should a person have an affair with a person they work with,
provided both know up front it is not a 'power play'?
POSTED 3/17/2004
Eric, Toronto, Ontario, na, Canada, 38, Male, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, 2 Years of College, Upper middle class,
Mesg ID 3172004124957
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Question:
At my university, and when I was in high school, I noticed that
the Italians, Greeks, Lebanese, Armenians and Persians all seemed to
hang out together. To me, there seems to be a link among Southern
Europeans and Near Easterners. Do you think these groups are
realizing they are largely similar in appearance and are coming
together? I also noticed that they have quite a lot of racist
attitudes toward both minorities and whites. Can anyone help explain
these observations?
POSTED 3/17/2004
D. Heesen, Fullerton, CA, United States, 21, Male, Baptist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, College student, 2 Years of College, Upper
class, Mesg ID 39200415936
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Question:
Why is it that Middle Eastern people seem to be the only ones
working at 7-Eleven and Dunkin' Donuts?
POSTED 3/1/2004
Tamika, Bolingbrook, IL, United States,
<Tamika256@aol.com>, 21, Female, Black/African American,
Straight, student, 4 Years of College, Lower class, Mesg ID
2252004103910
Responses:
Perhaps they are more
sociable and like meeting and serving people. Could it also be that a
majority are more independent-minded and prefer to 'try out' at
retail stores to pick up tips on running a business that caters to
the masses?
POSTED 3/17/2004
Juliana, Singapore, na,
Singapore, 40s, Female, Methodist, Chinese, Straight, Teacher, Over 4
Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 32200453543
Maybe there is a high
concentration of Middle Easterners living in your area, thus
producing what seems to you as disproportionate numbers of Middle
Easterners working at 7-11 and Dunkin' Donuts. I can tell you that
here, most employees of our Dunkin' Donuts are white or black, as we
have a very small Middle Eastern community. When I lived in San
Diego, the employees ranged from Hispanic, black, white, Asian (where
there is a large Filipino community) and some African natives. I
suppose it depends on where you live and what ethnic communities live
there.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Jane, Raleigh, NC,
United States, <questionauthority@nc.rr.com>, 32, Female,
Agnostic, Black/African American, Straight, Paralegal, 4 Years of
College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 39200421417
Remember that a lot of
people who are new immigrants to this country may have advanced
degrees in engineering or medicine or law, but those degrees are not
usually accepted by the organizations here. Does a man who's been
working in the nephrology department of a top hospital in Saudi
Arabia for 14 years know less than the recent American graduate about
kidneys? Of course not, but the Mideastern man has to feed
himself/his family somehow while he retakes entrance exams, and then
is only allowed the capabilities (and salaries) of a new graduate
from med school. The same situation holds true for many educated
immigrants, not just from the Mideast but also from Asia (including
South Asia) and a large part of the rest of the world. So next time,
ask the guy what his educational background is and who he has to send
money to. You might find some interesting answers.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Ridwan, Gaithersburg,
MD, United States, Male, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
310200493151
Could it be that
they're used to significantly lower wages than most people and can
afford to live at such a lifestyle? That's most likey the
reason.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Jesse C., Palm Coast,
FL, United States, Mesg ID 316200480907
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Question:
I recently moved to New Orleans from a small town with not many
black people, and one thing I've noticed is that a lot of black
people here have gold teeth. I don't understand why they do this
because I don't think it looks good. Is there a reason they do this?
Is it cultural? Is there some sort of history behind it? Or is it
cheap? Don't mean to sound ignorant, but I've had more than one
friend who has moved here from somewhere else wonder the same
thing.
POSTED 3/1/2004
Brenda, New Orleans, LA, United States, 25, Female, Unitarian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Nanny, High School Diploma, Middle class,
Mesg ID 227200451312
Responses:
I had to answer since I
am from New Orleans. The gold tooth thing is a regional oddity, like
coconuts or beignets. In the early '90s, rappers from New Orleans,
theretofore unheard of, used it as a publicity stunt. Why that
particular thing, I don't know, but in any case it is part of what
propelled rappers from New Orleans to the national scene. Of course
that had the effect of perpetuating it. These days every young person
thinks rap is cool, and rappers are cool, so they want to imitate. If
you're still wondering why only black people do it, it's because
(duh) New Orleans is 80 percent black. You'll have to go to Michoud
to see Asians with gold teeth, or Chalmette to see whites with gold
teeth.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Amanda, Fullerton, CA,
United States, 24, Female, Christian, Black/African American,
Straight, student, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg
ID 342004115307
It is not cultural, it
is just a trend that is popular with the 'hip-hop' crowd now,
especially in the Deep South. There is no history behind it, either.
It is the same thing as white kids painting their faces and calling
themselves 'goth'. It is neither cultural nor historical, just a
trend. Interesting that blacks don't seem to relate every 'white'
trend as being 'cultural or historical'. It is a fad that many young
black men take part in, just as white kids have their fads.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Amber, Greenville, NC,
United States, 23, Female, Black/African American, Student, 2 Years
of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 332004121504
At the risk of sounding
classist (OK, I'll go ahead), I think this is a cultural custom of
lower-class blacks. Maybe you only notice the black people with gold
teeth because they stand out, or maybe you have only seen lower-class
blacks (depends on where you live and work). In the integrated
neighborhood where I live, I can't think of when I last saw someone
black with gold teeth. Now, go downtown or to some of the less
affluent areas, and you will see some. Is it a problem? Does it hurt
anyone? I think it's just a style choice - not my style, but there
are lots of things that are not my style.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Ramonna, St. Louis, MO,
United States, 50, Female, Episcopalian, Black/African American,
Straight, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID
362004113951
I have lived in
Metairie (which is on the outskirts of New orleans) all my life, and
it is not just New Orleans where you will find guys with gold teeth.
I think guys here think it looks good, but in reality it looks cheap
and tacky. I do not know what would make a person want gold teeth;
they are known to rot your real teeth if you keep them in too long.
There is no history behind them; it's just that guys here think they
make them look good.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Leeley E., Metairie,
LA, United States, <gabrial25@netzero.com>, 25, Female,
Black/African American, graphic designer, Over 4 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 392004102732
Some of us do this
because we like to show the money we have. Gold teeth are not cheap -
they are really expensive. Down South is known for having people with
'bling bling' in their mouth. You have nothin' to worry about; just
because we wear it don't mean we are goin' to rob you!
POSTED 3/17/2004
Jazmine, Troutman, NC,
United States, 17, Female, Christian, Black/African American,
Straight, Student, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID
310200453718
I really believe the
gold and platinum teeth appearance is just a phase that will blow
over. It's pretty much the same phase that Caucasians went through in
the '80s when the spiked mohawk was fashionable.
POSTED 3/17/2004
Arree C., Chicago, IL,
United States, 30, Female, Christian, Black/African American,
Straight, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
312200491628
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