Best of the Week
of March 17, 2002

Best of Week Archives

Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges either begun or advanced during the week of March 17, 2002, as selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s database using the search form, or, in the case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in the Original Archives (all questions from the Original Archives have been entered into the database as well). In the Original Archives, as well as in the database, you will find questions that have received answers, as well as questions still awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer any questions relevant to your demographic background, as well as to ask any provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily meant to represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can provide a window into the insights of an individual from that group.

First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s guidelines pages for asking and answering questions.

The book on Y? is here!
"Why Do White People Smell Like Wet Dogs
When They Come Out Of The Rain?"

Order it here!
Read the Associated Press story on "Wet Dogs"

Order the book on Y? today!

 


Question:

Why do straight women always assume the worst when a lesbian compliments them?

POSTED 3/18/2002

Whitney J, Glendale, CA, United States, Female, Mesg ID 3182002121928

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Question:

The book titled 'Why do white people smell like wet dogs' is a racist slur! How would the author like it if I wrote a book titled, 'Black people smell like wet monkeys when they come out of the rain'?

POSTED 2/19/2002

Dan C., Omaha, NE, United States, Male, Mesg ID 216200271244


Responses:
Chill, Dan, it's just a bit of irreverence. In the scheme of things, we all smell a little funny at times. Keep the big picture in mind - underneath our smell, ethnicity and skin color, we all get hurt feelings. We feel blue, we have periods of happiness and the same sun rises over all of us. Let's just be good neighbors to each other, OK?

POSTED 3/18/2002

Sue, Waterloo, IA, United States, Female, Mesg ID 228200264749


Most people who have a problem with this title are white people. Other races have been dealing with stereotypes for decades, while white people rarely have to. When the tables are turned, white people get so defensive, perhaps because they feel they are losing the superiority they have had for so long and have to feel it for once. Minorities have been dealing with this forever, but the second a white takes the blow, watch out, it's a slur!

POSTED 3/18/2002

Alera, Brandon, NA, Canada, 20, Female, student, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 34200235926


I agree that the title is a racist slur, but it does grab your attention and bring into light the fact that racism is not a thing of the past but a current problem. This site is to promote understanding, and if people don't realize that some things are incorrect stereotypes (such as the fact that white people smell like wet dogs when the come out of the rain) how can they come to understand the truth? We can't be afraid of racial slurs if we hope to disable them.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Chelsie, St. Louis, MO, United States, 18, Female, White/Caucasian, Straight, student, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID 35200250930


When I was a child in 1950s Ohio, my parents said that black people smelled different from white people. This was offered with the advice that it would be rude to say anything about it. Cleveland was so segregated that I rarely came close to a black person. On one or two occasions when I came near someone who had been sweating, it did seem that they smelled different from me. That's what my parents meant, I thought. It never occurred to me, assuming black people smelled different to whites, that whites, of course, smelled different to blacks! So when I read the book title, I was grateful that it gave me a new insight. I feel a little silly not having figured it out for myself, but I am grateful for the insight nonetheless.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Bob S., Oakland, CA, United States, <bob_shurtleff@yahoo.com>, 59, Male, Christian, White/Caucasian, Straight, Computer Analyst, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 35200271654


I am a mature woman of color. I don't think the reason for the book's title was to make a racial slur. It clearly states a fact. I have been around a lot of different types of people, and some white people really do smell like wet dogs when coming out of the rain. If you were to title a book about black people smelling like monkeys, that would just not be true.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Michelle, Albany, NY, United States, 40, Female, Methodist, Black/African American, Straight, Administrative Assistant, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 37200265224


You all are missing the point of the book. The point is that there are some people who legitimately want to know the answers to questions that others may find offensive.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Alison, New York, NY, , 21, Female, Black/African American, Straight, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 310200273905


It certainly is a racist slur. Everyone feels like they have to handle minorities with kid gloves to be politically correct, but it's OK to make racist comments toward white people. If this book was 'Why do black people smell like monkeys,' it probably would have been on the evening news, and the ACLU would have denounced it. Can you imagine the uproar it would cause to have a 'White Pride Day'? The same principal applies, and it's appalling!

POSTED 3/18/2002

Mary, Philadelphia, PA, United States, 28, Female, Methodist, White/Caucasian, Straight, social worker, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 3182002104948


A racist slur? In what capacity? White people have never been called, referred to or equated to any type of animal or non-human species in a consistent and dehumanizing manner. 'Wet dogs' is not a widely recognized insult of white people and does not have the stick or impact of words like 'spic,' 'wetback,' 'wop,' 'kike,' 'kraut' or the most infamous term, 'nigger.' At most, the title of this book is an insensitive jab to white people used to arouse attention and stimulate discussion. Poor choice of words, but stopping at the cover would do any white person a disservice. Any white person who is seriously offended by this title probably has a distorted or disproportionate view of racism that would allow them to equate wet dogs with the n-word. And unlike white people, black people have been slurred with references to being sub-human with terms such as monkey, black buck, porch monkey and other derisive terms too many times to mention. So walk in my shoes for a little while and then tell me if you feel the same way.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Mike, Chicago, IL, United States, 24, Male, Baptist, Black/African American, Straight, Law student/ed. administrator, Over 4 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 228200220023

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Question:

I love all the people of the world, but why do some of them have breath that smells like hot garbage?

POSTED 3/17/2002

Jost, Hayward, CA, United States, Mesg ID 312200284731

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Question:

Why do white people smell like wet dogs when they come out of the rain?

POSTED 3/1/1999

Cass, Detroit, MI, United States, Female, Mesg ID 3199102022


Responses:
White people smell like wet dogs when they come out of the rain because they are more likely to be wearing wool in cold, wet weather than black people. Black people are more likely to be wearing polyester clothing, which has no smell when wet. When wet, wool exudes the smell of lanolin, the natural oil from the sheep. It does smell somewhat like wet dogs.

POSTED 3/17/2002

Greg, Sebastopol, CA, United States, 51, Male, White/Caucasian, Straight, Educator, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 317200252119

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Question:

I am a white, female Registered Nurse working in a state mental hospital. I would like to hear from people who have had and been treated for mental illness. What would make it easier for you and your culture? If you or a loved one came to my hospital, what could I do to make your stay more comfortable? Are there any self care rites or rituals, food, sleeping arrangements I should know about? Anything that I, being a white nurse with little experience with other cultures, may not know?

POSTED 1/31/2002

Lorina M., Warm Springs, MT, United States, <massey515@earthlink.net>, 37, Female, Pentecostal, White/Caucasian, Straight, Registered Nurse, Over 4 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 129200292439


Responses:

Having a mental illness is not the same as being part of a 'culture.' How you would treat a Pakistani woman with a mental illness might be very different from the way I would like to be treated. Having a mental illness means you are sick, just like having diabetes or cancer. The most important thing to remember is that we are human beings, even when we are acting strange or behaving in a manner that is threatening or intimidating. I have yet to meet someone with a mental illness who enjoys his or her symptoms. What they are going through is harder on them than on anyone around them. Treat your patients with empathy and ask them questions about what they would like. If they can't respond, ask their family. Treat them like people. If they can't communicate with you, it is still good to let them know what is going on around them. Tell them they are having blood drawn and why. Tell them they will be having a shower today. Just treat them with the respect you would want if you were suddenly placed into a foreign land where no one understood you, and you didn't know how to follow the rules of behaivor expected of you, and you were mostly just scared and feeling very alone.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Amy, Tampa, FL, United States, 27, Female, Wiccan, White/Caucasian, Straight, mentally ill, unemployed, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 318200220616


I have received treatment for mental illness. I think the most important thing is for people to realize that people with mental illness are just like everyone else, and they are human beings. The worst treatment I received was from people who thought I was less than them just because I was ill. I didn't choose to be ill, and I am a person, not a walking illness. As far as what makes people more comfortable, that depends on the individual, just as it would with any physical illness. I don't know what you mean by 'your culture.' Mental illness can occur in people from any class, of any race, from any background and with any culture. There isn't one culture. I guess the other thing that is important in treatment is to have a thorough understanding of the patient's illness. Unfortunately, many patients receive inappropriate or inadequate care from doctors or nurses who are not knowledgable of their illness.

POSTED 3/18/2002

D., Phoenix, AZ, United States, 23, Female, White/Caucasian, Straight, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 220200292751


I went into inpatient care at a mental hospital last year, mainly for trying to kill myself. If it matters, I'm white and went in at age 17. The hospital I went to was good to me, considering ones I�ve heard about. Food: I was able to have vegetarian meals, and we were allowed to make a list of things we did and didn�t enjoy or wouldn't eat, though they had a hard time following that a lot, probably because there were a lot of people to take care of. We all mainly got the same meal, maybe a few alterations. I freaked out when I got a fish dinner, but other than that, the rest of the food situation was OK. I got punished for having an anxiety attack - that sucked. I think they should realize that there is a difference between being bad and not being able to cope. I was not interrupting anyone, except maybe some nurses' conversation, by crying, but I couldn't participate because there were a lot of people there (I have social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia) and they sent me to my room and wouldn�t let me do the next activity or eat lunch in the cafeteria, and they took away points (there was a point system where I went, more points = more privileges, like phone calls and whatnot). There was one nurse through my stay who I really enjoyed. When everyone took away all my coping methods, she came to me and gave me ideas for new ones. She came to talk to me, asked me questions. Unlike the rest of the nurses and techs, she did what I thought only the physiologists and doctors would do once a day, if that. My advice is that if you're going to take something away, at least be kind enough to replace it with something. Help us, don't leave us hanging.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Dino, Portland, ME, United States, <dinoblife@yahoo.com>, 18, Female, Atheist, White/Caucasian, Bisexual, High School Student, Less than High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID 2222002101703


My mother is a psychiatric nurse. She says a lot of nurses assume the patients don't notice what is or isn't done for them, but they do. I'd say ask the patient; if his or her disease is too severe, you could ask the family about his/her interests, beliefs, etc. Even if they don't or can't show it, I'm willing to bet they'd appreciate it. And the family would appreciate it, too. It's comforting to know a loved one is well-cared for physically and mentally.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Jen, North Bay, NA, Canada, 19, Female, Christian, White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, High School Diploma, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 214200290754

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Question:

Does anyone know how to significantly combat adult ADD without drugs?? They make me into a different person and block my access to creativity.

POSTED 3/17/2002

Daniel A., San Francisco, CA, United States, <datkinson83@hotmail.com>, Male, Mesg ID 311200213620


Responses:
Apparently, various preservatives and additives in food can exacerbate ADD - so you should probably avoid processed food. There is a doctor in New York named Ronald Hoffman who does therapy that is supposed to help ADD. The treatment was discovered by accident whilet administering other treatment for something else. He has a holistic approach to medicine, so he is unlikely to prescribe drugs.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Jay, New York, NY, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 318200271144


I am not a professional, just someone who has always been accused of having too much going on at any one time. What has worked for me is a pursuit of change until I found what really engaged me relative to work, friends, etc. No more making what doesn't work fit into my life. Prior to this change, I found I didn't want to focus on what was in front of me, because it wasn't right for me. It is a simple suggestion to what seems to be a more frequently diagnosed syndrome these days.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Matthew, New York, NY, United States, 43, Male, Mesg ID 3182002100448


Try a little self-discipline, and take responsibility for your own actions. ADD is something doctors made up to relieve you of those responsibilities.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Todd, Gastonia, NC, United States, 38, Male, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 3182002105053


You might consider looking into yoga. Focus on the postures and breathing has helped some people regain focus in the midst of struggling with ADD.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Chandele, Fort Collins, CO, United States, 28, Female, Pagan, White/Caucasian, Straight, graduate student, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 318200215832

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Question:

Do black men feel like they intimidate white women? Do some black men enjoy harassing women of any color just to get a reaction out of them? My girlfriends and I have often talked about being yelled at or approached on the street, often by black men. I don't think we look like 'scared white women' or weak, passive women, so why does it seem like intimidating women is a sport to some of these guys? Do other women out there feel the same?

POSTED 3/17/2002

Anne, Madison, WI, United States, 34, Female, White/Caucasian, Straight, counselor, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 3152002115210


Responses:
I just wanted Anne to know she is not alone in her feelings. I was raped by six black men who kept saying, 'You shoulda been down with the brown.' I would also like to know, is it just a power thing or what? I'm terrified.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Heather, Richmond, VA, United States, 25, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian, Straight, Teacher, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 318200294843


I can't speak for men of any ethnicity who harass women on the street with cat calls and stupid pick up lines. Most of that stems from ignorance, regardless of race. As a black man, I don't go out of my way to intimidate white women. I don't have to because white women are already intimidated by me. I believe the majority of your fears stem from the historical myth of black men being savage and dangerous. Often I notice white women looking behind themselves to see me, and then nervously cross the street or clutch their purse, quicken their step or even walk off the elevator on a floor other than the one they pressed. A person might suggest that these events are not racially motivated, but they occur regardless of the time of day, location, or number of people in the area. Several times I have found myself subconsiously altering my behavior in subtle ways to alleviate this unsubstantiated fear. I get very tired of it. I'm tired of always being looked upon as a suspect rather than an individual. However, I do admit that one time I got fed up with the reaction I received from this white woman who looked backed and crossed the street in front me, so I shadowed her movements until I reached my car. If she walked faster, I walked faster. If she crossed the street, I crossed the street. She crossed the street FOUR times to avoid me! This took place in the middle of the day, on a crowded college campus, and on that particular day I was wearing a business suit. When I told my friends about it, they laughed because they also have had to deal with the frustrations of dealing with intimidated white women. I have a question for you as well: 'Why do white women harass black men by assuming that we think you are so beautiful that we are going to go crazy and rape you on the street in broad daylight?'

POSTED 3/18/2002

AZA, New York, NY, United States, 26, Male, Agnostic, Black/African American, Straight, med student, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 3182002115758


I don't think they are doing it to intimidate you because you are white or because they feel you are passive, but because it seems to be more culturally acceptable among African Americans than whites. I get yelled at all the time on the street by black guys, but so do my black female friends. I think it is also mainly lower-class/uneducated guys who do this. The funny thing is, as offensive and annoying as it is to you - they actually think they are paying you a compliment!

POSTED 3/18/2002

Mako, Newark, NJ, United States, Female, Atheist, White/Caucasian, Straight, Mesg ID 3182002121649


I guess I can understand where white women are coming from slightly. First, black men do not terrorize only white women. They do it to just about any person they come in contact with sometimes, depending on the person. However, it's only a few ignorant members of the black male population who do this. Don't generalize. Second, all men have this dominating ego and love to intimidate people, especially females. It's just them sometimes. I have been intimidated by white, Hispanic, black men, whatever. Just the fact that I am a woman attracts them to me. And sometimes, depending on the neighborhood, men tend to shout at whatever they think looks good - black, blue, white or green - in a negative or positive way.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Nicole, Washington, DC, United States, 18, Female, Black/African American, Straight, Student, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 318200214917

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Question:

What are some of the best resources to begin learning more about Buddhism and what it takes to become a Buddhist?

POSTED 3/17/2002

J. Hecker, Philadelphia, PA, United States, <jmhecker@hotmail.com>, Male, Agnostic, White/Caucasian, Straight, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 3122002102541


Responses:
Because you live in Philadelphia, you might want to check out the Philadelphia Buddhist Association. Their website is www.philabuddhistassoc.org. They are a good resource. Also, 'Garland of Letters' on South Street has a wealth of books about Buddhism.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Mary, Philadelphia, PA, United States, <mamerman1@hotmail.com>, 28, Female, Methodist, White/Caucasian, Straight, social worker, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 3182002103045


'The Buddha in Your Mirror' is a great book that offers an understandable introduction to Nichiren Buddhism, which is the path I follow. Online you can check out www.sgi-usa.org. SGI (Soka Gakkai International) is the lay organization of Nichiren Buddhists, and there are chapters all over the place. I am sure that there is one in Philadelphia, and probably several. Also, feel free to contact me at my email address.

POSTED 3/18/2002

June, Brooklyn, NY, United States, <dianejune18@yahoo.com>, 24, Female, Buddhist, White/Caucasian, Straight, Non profit, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 3182002113115

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Question:

Do blacks feel physical pleasure differently than whites? In sex, food, warmth and other physical pleasures and desires, it appears black people are somehow hungrier for the pleasure than white people. How can this be? Neurotransmitter differences? Seratonin uptake?

POSTED 3/14/2002

T.C., Philadelphia, PA, United States, Mesg ID 314200295857


Responses:
I'm shocked that anyone would ask such a question. Maybe blacks are more culturally conditioned to express feelings of pleasure/anger/humor than their white counterparts, but I doubt that their bodies react differently.

POSTED 3/17/2002

Veronica, New York, NC, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Mesg ID 3152002100147


Blacks do not have any more neurotransmitters or serotonin than whites. What you are observing is a cultural difference. Blacks enjoy the 'simpler' things in life because they haven't had the opportunity to get more. They had to relish whatever natural pleasures they could get. This was especially the case during slavery. The things you mention, sex and food - these were the only things blacks could really enjoy freely now and then. Blacks are also more spiritually-minded than whites. This is not in reference to religion, because religion is not spirituality. This I guess could be referenced to one's correlation with life, God, and nature. The original African societies integrated spiritual elements within their culture. This integration allowed them to enjoy things of nature more. Of course, Africans are not the only ones like this. Native Americans for example also integrate elements of spirtuality and nature into their cultural behaviors.

POSTED 3/17/2002

Kristina, Washington, DC, United States, <kfount500@aol.com>, 21, Female, Christian, Black/African American, Straight, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 315200212647


It never occurred to me that blacks are hungrier for pleasure than white people. Are you mistaking their indifference to your behavioral norms for an innate difference? It is true that some cultures are more exuberant than others, and that some cultures are more Sybaritic (enjoying pleasures) than others, but I don't think race enters into it. Sure, the Puritans were white and supposedly abstemious (although they drank rum in enormous quantities), but they were racially indistinguishable from Vikings, who were stereotypically lusty. I'm sure if you were to compare different cultures across sub-Saharan Africa, you'd see a similar range. Historically, people have tended to equate the seeking of pleasure with decadence, and hence with inferiority. During the Crusades, the Western Europeans looked down on the Italians and Byzantines as pleasure-obsessed sissies, and the Mongols regarded the Persians and other urbanized civilizations the same way.

POSTED 3/17/2002

Jerry S., New Britain, CT, United States, 53, Male, Jewish, White/Caucasian, Straight, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 315200220928


I don't think we feel physical pleasure differently, but we are more expressive about it. We are raised with the knowledge that we may not see tommorrow, and we have a lot of hardships to deal with, so we take pleasure whenever and wherever possible.

POSTED 3/17/2002

Sherman, Richmond, CA, United States, <SJACK916@AOL.COM>, 34, Male, Christian, Black/African American, Straight, Contractor, Technical School, Middle class, Mesg ID 315200221700


As a strong black man, I can tell you that there is a hell of a difference in the way blacks feel pleasure and pain. I've been involved with women of all races: white, Italian, Jewish, Armenian, Chinese, etc. There is always this amazement that I am 'so into it' when we are having sex, for example. Brothers are very passionate. We don't 'front' or 'go through the motions' like white people do. Most blacks are raised with the belief that we may not live very long.

POSTED 3/17/2002

Tyrone J., Los Angeles, CA, United States, 25, Male, Black/African American, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 3162002102019

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Question:

I have a 14-year-old who likes a boy at school. I feel it's all right for her to have a friend who is a boy, but her father does not like the idea. He doesn't even want boys to call her. Does anyone have some advice on this type of problem?

POSTED 3/29/2000

Rhonda K., Porterville, CA, United States, <rkruger@pc.cc.ca.us>, 35, Female, Mormon, White/Caucasian, Straight, student, 2 Years of College, Lower class, Mesg ID 325200024118


Responses:
What on earth should she have boyfriends for? I don't mean to be harsh, but do you consider it precocious? Do you believe it makes you more popular? Are you trying to relive your own teenage years through your daughter? I cannot fathom why you would permit, let alone encourage, this inappropriate behavior. She's testing her limits. Act like a mother and not her teenage girlfriend. I have seven kids. They are all kind, respectful, intelligent, decent human beings. None was permitted to date before 16, and couldn't single date before they were 18. They've always known the rules, they've been protected by the rules and they're going into adulthood as mature, happy, healthy (emotionally, physically and spiritually) human beings. College, yes. Marriage, yes. Abortions, sexually transmitted diseases, broken hearts, wasted youth, bad grades: Not a one.

POSTED 4/17/2000

Margaret Z., Seattle, WA, United States, <margaret@zensearch.net>, 44, Female, Latter-Day Saints, Mother, homeschooler, writer, editor, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 417200040957


To MargaertZ.: You have some real valid points here, but - and I do not mean to offend - what planet are you on? If your child is in public school, he or she is going to be exposed by their peers every inch of the day to sexuality ... dating ... who's hot and who's not, etc. Don't get me wrong, boundaries should be enforced, but you need to be realistic about this child's peers. If you try to get too hardcore, you're going to find nothing more than outright rebellion on your hands, like swinging from the chandeliers. Sit down and find a compromise, something you can live with and they can, too. Remember, you don't own them. They are only on loan, and it's such such a short time. Make this the best time time between you. Also, a side note: even when they act like they can't stand you, they really do love you and your husband! Been there, done this a few years ago... Just love 'em.

POSTED 4/4/2001

Lindsay, San Antonio, TX, United States, <lindsay_horton@hotmail.com>, 49, Female, White/Caucasian, Straight, self-employed, 2 Years of College, Upper class, Mesg ID 526200021655


As I have seen it, those who grow up in a stricter house rebel MORE as they get older, i.e. dad says no dating, so she ends up wanting to do it more, and going to extremes to hide it. I.E. Drugs/Alcohol: I grew up with it around, and after seeing adults drunk at parties, was completely turned off not only by the taste but by the effects. Be careful how hard you push, because the harder you push, the more push-back you're going to get - so be prepared, and understand that part of it IS your doing. Sit down as a family and talk about it. If that doesn't work out, email or write each other; that way, there is no yelling.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Katie, Bloomfield Hills, MI, United States, <KaTiZe007@hotmail.com>, 18, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian, Straight, student, Less than High School Diploma, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 227200271921

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Question:

Recently the University of Arkansas basketball coach, Nolan Richardson (an African American), spoke out against unfair media portrayal and lack of university support due to race. I'm not debating those issues, but at one point, he compared his situation (coaching basketball for $1 million/year) to slavery. How do African Americans feel about their prominent leaders (others have done so, too) using this tactic, which trivializes the abhorrent condition in which slaves actually existed?

POSTED 3/17/2002

Jack W., Annapolis, MD, United States, 35, Male, Catholic, White/Caucasian, Straight, Professional, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 314200225006


Responses:
No it's not too different from the statement 'making slave wages.' If the average white coach is making 10 times his salary, then it is understood to be a statement being used to make a point. If only 20 percent more, then it's considered a poor analogy. What really is offensive is when someone truly is stating that a condition is like slavery. Star Trek: The Next Generation did (that is, the writers for the show did) during one episode when they stated that a woman who had an arranged marriage (to secure a peace treaty) was essentially being sold into slavery. Now that's offensive. And just plain dumb.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Wayne C., Parsippany, NJ, United States, 41, Male, Baptist, Black/African American, Over 4 Years of College, Mesg ID 3182002113243


First, I don't consider a basketball coach to be a prominent 'African-American' leader. To me, he is just like any other person who uses something huge from the past to justify his point about something personal. It's exactly the same as when some people use the Holocaust or when they say someone is a 'Nazi.' To be honest, I have to wonder why it is that any African American who speaks out and is presented prominently by the media is considered an 'African-American leader' by some (usually non-blacks). Personally, and I think many others would say the same, I can speak for myself.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Sheri R., Redwood City, CA, United States, 35, Female, Jewish, Black/African American, Straight, Education Professional, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 318200210339

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Question:

Are Hispanic-Americans uncomfortable with Anglo culture? I am a Caucasion-Australian female involved with a Hispanic-American male and am concerned about attitudes I might encounter on moving to San Antonio to be with my partner.

POSTED 3/17/2002

Sarah, Perth, NA, Australia, <curnowsk@hotmail.com>, 21, Female, White/Caucasian, Bisexual, student, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 314200270907


Responses:
I have a Hispanic boyfriend, and all of his family and friends are wonderful to me. In my experience, I have found Hispanics to be extremely accepting of Anglo culture (among others) and quite diverse. They also have a wonderful culture that you will find a joy to be part of.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Jay, New York, NY, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 318200272638


I may be biased, being of mixed European (hence, white) descent, but I think San Antonio is a wonderful city when it comes to various races getting along. If his family is anything like the families of my close Hispanic friends, you will find that you will be very accepted. However, I wouldn't talk too much about being bisexual. Hispanics in general are more conservative regarding traditional family values and structure, and homosexuality might not go over so well.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Matthew S., San Antonio, TX, United States, 31, Male, Catholic, White/Caucasian, Straight, Software Developer, 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 3182002102002


It really depends on what you mean by Hispanic-American and Anglo culture and what his upbringing has been. As a young Mexican-American, I have found many things in my environment that I am not particularly comfortable with but have learned to deal with. I have been raised in a predominantly 'white' middle-upper class town where racial diversity is hard to come by, yet tolerance of differences is preached in schools. There is no choice for me about accepting 'Anglo culture,' but because I have been raised in this environment, I guess 'Anglo culture' seems like the norm. Your question is mostly about your level of comfort in a foreign environment; I would suggest asking him about the attitudes regarding race where he lives, and also perhaps visiting before you move there permanently. Generally, the 'Hispanic' culture seems more open and warm within families, but it really does depend on where you live and how he has been raised. I would guess that just the fact that you two are involved means the people around him are generally pretty tolerant and open.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Rosa V., Seattle, WA, United States, <rosav@snail-mail.net>, 16, Female, Hispanic/Latino, Straight, Less than High School Diploma, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 318200212758


I am a Caucasian female raised on the New Mexico/Mexico border in a predominantly Hispanic city. I have to say that we in the borderland have integrated our cultures quite a bit and the result is - for the most part - a fascinating and unique culture of our own. I would not worry about moving to San Antonio as long as you keep an open mind about the differences and similarities among Caucasians, Hispanics and Native Americans and are willing to embrace the culture created by the integration of the three.

POSTED 3/18/2002

Bentley, Las Cruces, NM, United States, 27, Female, Graduate Student, Mesg ID 318200225117

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