Best of the Week
of March 17, 2002
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of March 17, 2002, as
selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the
Week" entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing
Y?'s database using the search form, or, in
the case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in the
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the database as
well). In the Original Archives, as well as in the database, you will
find questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer any questions
relevant to your demographic background, as well as to ask any
provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily
meant to represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can
provide a window into the insights of an individual from that
group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
The book
on Y? is here!
"Why Do White People Smell Like Wet
Dogs
When They Come Out Of The Rain?"
Order it here!
Read the
Associated Press story on "Wet Dogs"
Question:
Why do straight women always assume the worst when a lesbian
compliments them?
POSTED 3/18/2002
Whitney J, Glendale, CA, United States, Female, Mesg ID
3182002121928
To
respond
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Question:
The book titled 'Why do white people smell like wet
dogs' is a racist slur! How would the author like it if I wrote a
book titled, 'Black people smell like wet monkeys when they come out
of the rain'?
POSTED 2/19/2002
Dan C., Omaha, NE, United States, Male, Mesg ID
216200271244
Responses:
Chill, Dan, it's just a bit of irreverence. In the scheme of
things, we all smell a little funny at times. Keep the big picture in
mind - underneath our smell, ethnicity and skin color, we all get
hurt feelings. We feel blue, we have periods of happiness and the
same sun rises over all of us. Let's just be good neighbors to each
other, OK?
POSTED 3/18/2002
Sue, Waterloo, IA, United States, Female, Mesg ID 228200264749
Most people who have a problem with this title are white people.
Other races have been dealing with stereotypes for decades, while
white people rarely have to. When the tables are turned, white people
get so defensive, perhaps because they feel they are losing the
superiority they have had for so long and have to feel it for once.
Minorities have been dealing with this forever, but the second a
white takes the blow, watch out, it's a slur!
POSTED 3/18/2002
Alera, Brandon, NA, Canada, 20, Female, student, 2 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 34200235926
I agree that the title is a racist slur, but it does grab your
attention and bring into light the fact that racism is not a thing of
the past but a current problem. This site is to promote
understanding, and if people don't realize that some things are
incorrect stereotypes (such as the fact that white people smell like
wet dogs when the come out of the rain) how can they come to
understand the truth? We can't be afraid of racial slurs if we hope
to disable them.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Chelsie, St. Louis, MO, United States, 18, Female,
White/Caucasian, Straight, student, High School Diploma, Middle
class, Mesg ID 35200250930
When I was a child in 1950s Ohio, my parents said that black
people smelled different from white people. This was offered with the
advice that it would be rude to say anything about it. Cleveland was
so segregated that I rarely came close to a black person. On one or
two occasions when I came near someone who had been sweating, it did
seem that they smelled different from me. That's what my parents
meant, I thought. It never occurred to me, assuming black people
smelled different to whites, that whites, of course, smelled
different to blacks! So when I read the book title, I was grateful
that it gave me a new insight. I feel a little silly not having
figured it out for myself, but I am grateful for the insight
nonetheless.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Bob S., Oakland, CA, United States,
<bob_shurtleff@yahoo.com>, 59, Male, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Computer Analyst, Over 4 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 35200271654
I am a mature woman of color. I don't think the reason for the
book's title was to make a racial slur. It clearly states a fact. I
have been around a lot of different types of people, and some white
people really do smell like wet dogs when coming out of the rain. If
you were to title a book about black people smelling like monkeys,
that would just not be true.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Michelle, Albany, NY, United States, 40, Female, Methodist,
Black/African American, Straight, Administrative Assistant, 2 Years
of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 37200265224
You all are missing the point of the book. The point is that there
are some people who legitimately want to know the answers to
questions that others may find offensive.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Alison, New York, NY, , 21, Female, Black/African American,
Straight, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 310200273905
It certainly is a racist slur. Everyone feels like they have to
handle minorities with kid gloves to be politically correct, but it's
OK to make racist comments toward white people. If this book was 'Why
do black people smell like monkeys,' it probably would have been on
the evening news, and the ACLU would have denounced it. Can you
imagine the uproar it would cause to have a 'White Pride Day'? The
same principal applies, and it's appalling!
POSTED 3/18/2002
Mary, Philadelphia, PA, United States, 28, Female, Methodist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, social worker, 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 3182002104948
A racist slur? In what capacity? White people have never been
called, referred to or equated to any type of animal or non-human
species in a consistent and dehumanizing manner. 'Wet dogs' is not a
widely recognized insult of white people and does not have the stick
or impact of words like 'spic,' 'wetback,' 'wop,' 'kike,' 'kraut' or
the most infamous term, 'nigger.' At most, the title of this book is
an insensitive jab to white people used to arouse attention and
stimulate discussion. Poor choice of words, but stopping at the cover
would do any white person a disservice. Any white person who is
seriously offended by this title probably has a distorted or
disproportionate view of racism that would allow them to equate wet
dogs with the n-word. And unlike white people, black people have been
slurred with references to being sub-human with terms such as monkey,
black buck, porch monkey and other derisive terms too many times to
mention. So walk in my shoes for a little while and then tell me if
you feel the same way.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Mike, Chicago, IL, United States, 24, Male, Baptist, Black/African
American, Straight, Law student/ed. administrator, Over 4 Years of
College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 228200220023
To
respond
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Question:
I love all the people of the world, but why do some of them
have breath that smells like hot garbage?
POSTED 3/17/2002
Jost, Hayward, CA, United States, Mesg ID 312200284731
To
respond
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Question:
Why do white people smell like wet dogs when they come out of
the rain?
POSTED 3/1/1999
Cass, Detroit, MI, United States, Female, Mesg ID
3199102022
Responses:
White people smell like wet dogs when they come out of the rain
because they are more likely to be wearing wool in cold, wet weather
than black people. Black people are more likely to be wearing
polyester clothing, which has no smell when wet. When wet, wool
exudes the smell of lanolin, the natural oil from the sheep. It does
smell somewhat like wet dogs.
POSTED 3/17/2002
Greg, Sebastopol, CA, United States, 51, Male, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Educator, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
317200252119
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respond
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Question:
I am a white, female Registered Nurse working in a state mental
hospital. I would like to hear from people who have had and been
treated for mental illness. What would make it easier for you and
your culture? If you or a loved one came to my hospital, what could I
do to make your stay more comfortable? Are there any self care rites
or rituals, food, sleeping arrangements I should know about? Anything
that I, being a white nurse with little experience with other
cultures, may not know?
POSTED 1/31/2002
Lorina M., Warm Springs, MT, United States,
<massey515@earthlink.net>, 37, Female, Pentecostal,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Registered Nurse, Over 4 Years of College,
Lower middle class, Mesg ID 129200292439
Responses:
Having a mental illness is not the same as being part of a
'culture.' How you would treat a Pakistani woman with a mental
illness might be very different from the way I would like to be
treated. Having a mental illness means you are sick, just like having
diabetes or cancer. The most important thing to remember is that we
are human beings, even when we are acting strange or behaving in a
manner that is threatening or intimidating. I have yet to meet
someone with a mental illness who enjoys his or her symptoms. What
they are going through is harder on them than on anyone around them.
Treat your patients with empathy and ask them questions about what
they would like. If they can't respond, ask their family. Treat them
like people. If they can't communicate with you, it is still good to
let them know what is going on around them. Tell them they are having
blood drawn and why. Tell them they will be having a shower today.
Just treat them with the respect you would want if you were suddenly
placed into a foreign land where no one understood you, and you
didn't know how to follow the rules of behaivor expected of you, and
you were mostly just scared and feeling very alone.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Amy, Tampa, FL, United States, 27, Female, Wiccan,
White/Caucasian, Straight, mentally ill, unemployed, 2 Years of
College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 318200220616
I have received treatment for mental illness. I think the most
important thing is for people to realize that people with mental
illness are just like everyone else, and they are human beings. The
worst treatment I received was from people who thought I was less
than them just because I was ill. I didn't choose to be ill, and I am
a person, not a walking illness. As far as what makes people more
comfortable, that depends on the individual, just as it would with
any physical illness. I don't know what you mean by 'your culture.'
Mental illness can occur in people from any class, of any race, from
any background and with any culture. There isn't one culture. I guess
the other thing that is important in treatment is to have a thorough
understanding of the patient's illness. Unfortunately, many patients
receive inappropriate or inadequate care from doctors or nurses who
are not knowledgable of their illness.
POSTED 3/18/2002
D., Phoenix, AZ, United States, 23, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID
220200292751
I went into inpatient care at a mental hospital last year, mainly
for trying to kill myself. If it matters, I'm white and went in at
age 17. The hospital I went to was good to me, considering ones I�ve
heard about. Food: I was able to have vegetarian meals, and we were
allowed to make a list of things we did and didn�t enjoy or wouldn't
eat, though they had a hard time following that a lot, probably
because there were a lot of people to take care of. We all mainly got
the same meal, maybe a few alterations. I freaked out when I got a
fish dinner, but other than that, the rest of the food situation was
OK. I got punished for having an anxiety attack - that sucked. I
think they should realize that there is a difference between being
bad and not being able to cope. I was not interrupting anyone, except
maybe some nurses' conversation, by crying, but I couldn't
participate because there were a lot of people there (I have social
anxiety disorder and agoraphobia) and they sent me to my room and
wouldn�t let me do the next activity or eat lunch in the cafeteria,
and they took away points (there was a point system where I went,
more points = more privileges, like phone calls and whatnot). There
was one nurse through my stay who I really enjoyed. When everyone
took away all my coping methods, she came to me and gave me ideas for
new ones. She came to talk to me, asked me questions. Unlike the rest
of the nurses and techs, she did what I thought only the
physiologists and doctors would do once a day, if that. My advice is
that if you're going to take something away, at least be kind enough
to replace it with something. Help us, don't leave us hanging.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Dino, Portland, ME, United States, <dinoblife@yahoo.com>,
18, Female, Atheist, White/Caucasian, Bisexual, High School Student,
Less than High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID 2222002101703
My mother is a psychiatric nurse. She says a lot of nurses assume
the patients don't notice what is or isn't done for them, but they
do. I'd say ask the patient; if his or her disease is too severe, you
could ask the family about his/her interests, beliefs, etc. Even if
they don't or can't show it, I'm willing to bet they'd appreciate it.
And the family would appreciate it, too. It's comforting to know a
loved one is well-cared for physically and mentally.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Jen, North Bay, NA, Canada, 19, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, High School Diploma, Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 214200290754
To
respond
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Question:
Does anyone know how to significantly combat adult ADD without
drugs?? They make me into a different person and block my access to
creativity.
POSTED 3/17/2002
Daniel A., San Francisco, CA, United States,
<datkinson83@hotmail.com>, Male, Mesg ID 311200213620
Responses:
Apparently, various preservatives and additives in food can
exacerbate ADD - so you should probably avoid processed food. There
is a doctor in New York named Ronald Hoffman who does therapy that is
supposed to help ADD. The treatment was discovered by accident whilet
administering other treatment for something else. He has a holistic
approach to medicine, so he is unlikely to prescribe drugs.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Jay, New York, NY, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Over 4
Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 318200271144
I am not a professional, just someone who has always been accused
of having too much going on at any one time. What has worked for me
is a pursuit of change until I found what really engaged me relative
to work, friends, etc. No more making what doesn't work fit into my
life. Prior to this change, I found I didn't want to focus on what
was in front of me, because it wasn't right for me. It is a simple
suggestion to what seems to be a more frequently diagnosed syndrome
these days.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Matthew, New York, NY, United States, 43, Male, Mesg ID
3182002100448
Try a little self-discipline, and take responsibility for your own
actions. ADD is something doctors made up to relieve you of those
responsibilities.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Todd, Gastonia, NC, United States, 38, Male, 4 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 3182002105053
You might consider looking into yoga. Focus on the postures and
breathing has helped some people regain focus in the midst of
struggling with ADD.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Chandele, Fort Collins, CO, United States, 28, Female, Pagan,
White/Caucasian, Straight, graduate student, Over 4 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 318200215832
To
respond
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Question:
Do black men feel like they intimidate white women? Do some
black men enjoy harassing women of any color just to get a reaction
out of them? My girlfriends and I have often talked about being
yelled at or approached on the street, often by black men. I don't
think we look like 'scared white women' or weak, passive women, so
why does it seem like intimidating women is a sport to some of these
guys? Do other women out there feel the same?
POSTED 3/17/2002
Anne, Madison, WI, United States, 34, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, counselor, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
3152002115210
Responses:
I just wanted Anne to know she is not alone in her feelings. I
was raped by six black men who kept saying, 'You shoulda been down
with the brown.' I would also like to know, is it just a power thing
or what? I'm terrified.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Heather, Richmond, VA, United States, 25, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Teacher, Over 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 318200294843
I can't speak for men of any ethnicity who harass women on the
street with cat calls and stupid pick up lines. Most of that stems
from ignorance, regardless of race. As a black man, I don't go out of
my way to intimidate white women. I don't have to because white women
are already intimidated by me. I believe the majority of your fears
stem from the historical myth of black men being savage and
dangerous. Often I notice white women looking behind themselves to
see me, and then nervously cross the street or clutch their purse,
quicken their step or even walk off the elevator on a floor other
than the one they pressed. A person might suggest that these events
are not racially motivated, but they occur regardless of the time of
day, location, or number of people in the area. Several times I have
found myself subconsiously altering my behavior in subtle ways to
alleviate this unsubstantiated fear. I get very tired of it. I'm
tired of always being looked upon as a suspect rather than an
individual. However, I do admit that one time I got fed up with the
reaction I received from this white woman who looked backed and
crossed the street in front me, so I shadowed her movements until I
reached my car. If she walked faster, I walked faster. If she crossed
the street, I crossed the street. She crossed the street FOUR times
to avoid me! This took place in the middle of the day, on a crowded
college campus, and on that particular day I was wearing a business
suit. When I told my friends about it, they laughed because they also
have had to deal with the frustrations of dealing with intimidated
white women. I have a question for you as well: 'Why do white women
harass black men by assuming that we think you are so beautiful that
we are going to go crazy and rape you on the street in broad
daylight?'
POSTED 3/18/2002
AZA, New York, NY, United States, 26, Male, Agnostic,
Black/African American, Straight, med student, Over 4 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 3182002115758
I don't think they are doing it to intimidate you because you are
white or because they feel you are passive, but because it seems to
be more culturally acceptable among African Americans than whites. I
get yelled at all the time on the street by black guys, but so do my
black female friends. I think it is also mainly
lower-class/uneducated guys who do this. The funny thing is, as
offensive and annoying as it is to you - they actually think they are
paying you a compliment!
POSTED 3/18/2002
Mako, Newark, NJ, United States, Female, Atheist, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Mesg ID 3182002121649
I guess I can understand where white women are coming from
slightly. First, black men do not terrorize only white women. They do
it to just about any person they come in contact with sometimes,
depending on the person. However, it's only a few ignorant members of
the black male population who do this. Don't generalize. Second, all
men have this dominating ego and love to intimidate people,
especially females. It's just them sometimes. I have been intimidated
by white, Hispanic, black men, whatever. Just the fact that I am a
woman attracts them to me. And sometimes, depending on the
neighborhood, men tend to shout at whatever they think looks good -
black, blue, white or green - in a negative or positive way.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Nicole, Washington, DC, United States, 18, Female, Black/African
American, Straight, Student, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class,
Mesg ID 318200214917
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respond
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Question:
What are some of the best resources to begin learning more
about Buddhism and what it takes to become a Buddhist?
POSTED 3/17/2002
J. Hecker, Philadelphia, PA, United States,
<jmhecker@hotmail.com>, Male, Agnostic, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID
3122002102541
Responses:
Because you live in Philadelphia, you might want to check out the
Philadelphia Buddhist Association. Their website is
www.philabuddhistassoc.org. They are a good resource. Also, 'Garland
of Letters' on South Street has a wealth of books about Buddhism.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Mary, Philadelphia, PA, United States,
<mamerman1@hotmail.com>, 28, Female, Methodist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, social worker, 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 3182002103045
'The Buddha in Your Mirror' is a great book that offers an
understandable introduction to Nichiren Buddhism, which is the path I
follow. Online you can check out www.sgi-usa.org. SGI (Soka Gakkai
International) is the lay organization of Nichiren Buddhists, and
there are chapters all over the place. I am sure that there is one in
Philadelphia, and probably several. Also, feel free to contact me at
my email address.
POSTED 3/18/2002
June, Brooklyn, NY, United States, <dianejune18@yahoo.com>,
24, Female, Buddhist, White/Caucasian, Straight, Non profit, 2 Years
of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 3182002113115
To
respond
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Question:
Do blacks feel physical pleasure differently than whites? In
sex, food, warmth and other physical pleasures and desires, it
appears black people are somehow hungrier for the pleasure than white
people. How can this be? Neurotransmitter differences? Seratonin
uptake?
POSTED 3/14/2002
T.C., Philadelphia, PA, United States, Mesg ID 314200295857
Responses:
I'm shocked that anyone would ask such a question. Maybe blacks
are more culturally conditioned to express feelings of
pleasure/anger/humor than their white counterparts, but I doubt that
their bodies react differently.
POSTED 3/17/2002
Veronica, New York, NC, United States, Female, White/Caucasian,
Mesg ID 3152002100147
Blacks do not have any more neurotransmitters or serotonin than
whites. What you are observing is a cultural difference. Blacks enjoy
the 'simpler' things in life because they haven't had the opportunity
to get more. They had to relish whatever natural pleasures they could
get. This was especially the case during slavery. The things you
mention, sex and food - these were the only things blacks could
really enjoy freely now and then. Blacks are also more
spiritually-minded than whites. This is not in reference to religion,
because religion is not spirituality. This I guess could be
referenced to one's correlation with life, God, and nature. The
original African societies integrated spiritual elements within their
culture. This integration allowed them to enjoy things of nature
more. Of course, Africans are not the only ones like this. Native
Americans for example also integrate elements of spirtuality and
nature into their cultural behaviors.
POSTED 3/17/2002
Kristina, Washington, DC, United States,
<kfount500@aol.com>, 21, Female, Christian, Black/African
American, Straight, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
315200212647
It never occurred to me that blacks are hungrier for pleasure than
white people. Are you mistaking their indifference to your behavioral
norms for an innate difference? It is true that some cultures are
more exuberant than others, and that some cultures are more Sybaritic
(enjoying pleasures) than others, but I don't think race enters into
it. Sure, the Puritans were white and supposedly abstemious (although
they drank rum in enormous quantities), but they were racially
indistinguishable from Vikings, who were stereotypically lusty. I'm
sure if you were to compare different cultures across sub-Saharan
Africa, you'd see a similar range. Historically, people have tended
to equate the seeking of pleasure with decadence, and hence with
inferiority. During the Crusades, the Western Europeans looked down
on the Italians and Byzantines as pleasure-obsessed sissies, and the
Mongols regarded the Persians and other urbanized civilizations the
same way.
POSTED 3/17/2002
Jerry S., New Britain, CT, United States, 53, Male, Jewish,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 315200220928
I don't think we feel physical pleasure differently, but we are
more expressive about it. We are raised with the knowledge that we
may not see tommorrow, and we have a lot of hardships to deal with,
so we take pleasure whenever and wherever possible.
POSTED 3/17/2002
Sherman, Richmond, CA, United States, <SJACK916@AOL.COM>,
34, Male, Christian, Black/African American, Straight, Contractor,
Technical School, Middle class, Mesg ID 315200221700
As a strong black man, I can tell you that there is a hell of a
difference in the way blacks feel pleasure and pain. I've been
involved with women of all races: white, Italian, Jewish, Armenian,
Chinese, etc. There is always this amazement that I am 'so into it'
when we are having sex, for example. Brothers are very passionate. We
don't 'front' or 'go through the motions' like white people do. Most
blacks are raised with the belief that we may not live very long.
POSTED 3/17/2002
Tyrone J., Los Angeles, CA, United States, 25, Male, Black/African
American, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID
3162002102019
To
respond
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Question:
I have a 14-year-old who likes a boy at school. I feel it's all
right for her to have a friend who is a boy, but her father does not
like the idea. He doesn't even want boys to call her. Does anyone
have some advice on this type of problem?
POSTED 3/29/2000
Rhonda K., Porterville, CA, United States,
<rkruger@pc.cc.ca.us>, 35, Female, Mormon, White/Caucasian,
Straight, student, 2 Years of College, Lower class, Mesg ID
325200024118
Responses:
What on earth should she have boyfriends for? I don't mean to be
harsh, but do you consider it precocious? Do you believe it makes you
more popular? Are you trying to relive your own teenage years through
your daughter? I cannot fathom why you would permit, let alone
encourage, this inappropriate behavior. She's testing her limits. Act
like a mother and not her teenage girlfriend. I have seven kids. They
are all kind, respectful, intelligent, decent human beings. None was
permitted to date before 16, and couldn't single date before they
were 18. They've always known the rules, they've been protected by
the rules and they're going into adulthood as mature, happy, healthy
(emotionally, physically and spiritually) human beings. College, yes.
Marriage, yes. Abortions, sexually transmitted diseases, broken
hearts, wasted youth, bad grades: Not a one.
POSTED 4/17/2000
Margaret Z., Seattle, WA, United States,
<margaret@zensearch.net>, 44, Female, Latter-Day Saints,
Mother, homeschooler, writer, editor, Over 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 417200040957
To MargaertZ.: You have some real valid points here, but - and I
do not mean to offend - what planet are you on? If your child is in
public school, he or she is going to be exposed by their peers every
inch of the day to sexuality ... dating ... who's hot and who's not,
etc. Don't get me wrong, boundaries should be enforced, but you need
to be realistic about this child's peers. If you try to get too
hardcore, you're going to find nothing more than outright rebellion
on your hands, like swinging from the chandeliers. Sit down and find
a compromise, something you can live with and they can, too.
Remember, you don't own them. They are only on loan, and it's such
such a short time. Make this the best time time between you. Also, a
side note: even when they act like they can't stand you, they really
do love you and your husband! Been there, done this a few years
ago... Just love 'em.
POSTED 4/4/2001
Lindsay, San Antonio, TX, United States,
<lindsay_horton@hotmail.com>, 49, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, self-employed, 2 Years of College, Upper class, Mesg ID
526200021655
As I have seen it, those who grow up in a stricter house rebel
MORE as they get older, i.e. dad says no dating, so she ends up
wanting to do it more, and going to extremes to hide it. I.E.
Drugs/Alcohol: I grew up with it around, and after seeing adults
drunk at parties, was completely turned off not only by the taste but
by the effects. Be careful how hard you push, because the harder you
push, the more push-back you're going to get - so be prepared, and
understand that part of it IS your doing. Sit down as a family and
talk about it. If that doesn't work out, email or write each other;
that way, there is no yelling.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Katie, Bloomfield Hills, MI, United States,
<KaTiZe007@hotmail.com>, 18, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian,
Straight, student, Less than High School Diploma, Upper middle class,
Mesg ID 227200271921
To
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Question:
Recently the University of Arkansas basketball coach, Nolan
Richardson (an African American), spoke out against unfair media
portrayal and lack of university support due to race. I'm not
debating those issues, but at one point, he compared his situation
(coaching basketball for $1 million/year) to slavery. How do African
Americans feel about their prominent leaders (others have done so,
too) using this tactic, which trivializes the abhorrent condition in
which slaves actually existed?
POSTED 3/17/2002
Jack W., Annapolis, MD, United States, 35, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Professional, Over 4 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 314200225006
Responses:
No it's not too different from the statement 'making slave
wages.' If the average white coach is making 10 times his salary,
then it is understood to be a statement being used to make a point.
If only 20 percent more, then it's considered a poor analogy. What
really is offensive is when someone truly is stating that a condition
is like slavery. Star Trek: The Next Generation did (that is, the
writers for the show did) during one episode when they stated that a
woman who had an arranged marriage (to secure a peace treaty) was
essentially being sold into slavery. Now that's offensive. And just
plain dumb.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Wayne C., Parsippany, NJ, United States, 41, Male, Baptist,
Black/African American, Over 4 Years of College, Mesg ID
3182002113243
First, I don't consider a basketball coach to be a prominent
'African-American' leader. To me, he is just like any other person
who uses something huge from the past to justify his point about
something personal. It's exactly the same as when some people use the
Holocaust or when they say someone is a 'Nazi.' To be honest, I have
to wonder why it is that any African American who speaks out and is
presented prominently by the media is considered an 'African-American
leader' by some (usually non-blacks). Personally, and I think many
others would say the same, I can speak for myself.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Sheri R., Redwood City, CA, United States, 35, Female, Jewish,
Black/African American, Straight, Education Professional, 4 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 318200210339
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Question:
Are Hispanic-Americans uncomfortable with Anglo culture? I am a
Caucasion-Australian female involved with a Hispanic-American male
and am concerned about attitudes I might encounter on moving to San
Antonio to be with my partner.
POSTED 3/17/2002
Sarah, Perth, NA, Australia, <curnowsk@hotmail.com>, 21,
Female, White/Caucasian, Bisexual, student, 4 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 314200270907
Responses:
I have a Hispanic boyfriend, and all of his family and friends
are wonderful to me. In my experience, I have found Hispanics to be
extremely accepting of Anglo culture (among others) and quite
diverse. They also have a wonderful culture that you will find a joy
to be part of.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Jay, New York, NY, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Over 4
Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 318200272638
I may be biased, being of mixed European (hence, white) descent,
but I think San Antonio is a wonderful city when it comes to various
races getting along. If his family is anything like the families of
my close Hispanic friends, you will find that you will be very
accepted. However, I wouldn't talk too much about being bisexual.
Hispanics in general are more conservative regarding traditional
family values and structure, and homosexuality might not go over so
well.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Matthew S., San Antonio, TX, United States, 31, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Software Developer, 4 Years of College,
Upper middle class, Mesg ID 3182002102002
It really depends on what you mean by Hispanic-American and Anglo
culture and what his upbringing has been. As a young
Mexican-American, I have found many things in my environment that I
am not particularly comfortable with but have learned to deal with. I
have been raised in a predominantly 'white' middle-upper class town
where racial diversity is hard to come by, yet tolerance of
differences is preached in schools. There is no choice for me about
accepting 'Anglo culture,' but because I have been raised in this
environment, I guess 'Anglo culture' seems like the norm. Your
question is mostly about your level of comfort in a foreign
environment; I would suggest asking him about the attitudes regarding
race where he lives, and also perhaps visiting before you move there
permanently. Generally, the 'Hispanic' culture seems more open and
warm within families, but it really does depend on where you live and
how he has been raised. I would guess that just the fact that you two
are involved means the people around him are generally pretty
tolerant and open.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Rosa V., Seattle, WA, United States, <rosav@snail-mail.net>,
16, Female, Hispanic/Latino, Straight, Less than High School Diploma,
Lower middle class, Mesg ID 318200212758
I am a Caucasian female raised on the New Mexico/Mexico border in
a predominantly Hispanic city. I have to say that we in the
borderland have integrated our cultures quite a bit and the result is
- for the most part - a fascinating and unique culture of our own. I
would not worry about moving to San Antonio as long as you keep an
open mind about the differences and similarities among Caucasians,
Hispanics and Native Americans and are willing to embrace the culture
created by the integration of the three.
POSTED 3/18/2002
Bentley, Las Cruces, NM, United States, 27, Female, Graduate
Student, Mesg ID 318200225117
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