Best of the Week
of April 25, 1999
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges either begun or
advanced during the week of April 25, 1999, as selected by Y?
These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries from
previous weeks, also can be found by accessing our new database using
our search form, or, in the case of
answers posted before April 24, 1999, in our
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the new database as
well). In the Original Archives and the new database, you will find
questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. We encourage you to answer any questions relevant
to your demographic background, as well as to ask any provocative
question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily meant to
represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can provide a
window into the insights of an individual from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at our
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
Question:
This is for any law-enforcement folks. I guess it does sound like a
slanted question, but I keep wondering: Why did all those SWAT police
- with their helmets, flak vests, tear gas and rifles - seal off the
school and wait outside for three hours while victims lay bleeding to
death and those two kids wandered around shooting whoever they saw?
What were police, and especially SWAT teams, good for when their
commanders kept them safely out of danger, even though they knew via
cell phones that people were being butchered inside the school?
I realize individual police officers were under orders not to
act, but it seems like criminal incompetence and cowardice on the
part of their superiors. Yes, there turned out to be (dud) bombs
inside, but the police apparently didn't know that until later. I
would really appreciate any comments from law enforcement officers as
to the way that situation was handled.
POSTED 4/29/99
Erik J., Detroit, MI, United States, 35, Male, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, Over 4 Years of College , Lower
middle class, Mesg ID 4289990948:
To respond
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Question:
To German nationals: How do you feel about German being the
'unofficial' language of hate, since it is the language of choice by
most Neo-Nazis and other supremacist groups? Are you angry,
embarrassed or ashamed in any way?
POSTED 4/29/99
Cynthia J., Rockland, MD, United States, 29, Female, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Florist, 2 Years of College, Middle class,
Mesg ID 4269951717
To respond
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Question:
I do not attempt to justify the Columbine shooting, and I think it is
a terrible thing to happen. But, even though the writings of the two
boys and their friends keep saying that they were bullied badly and
humiliated and beaten up almost daily, why is nobody even talking
about this aspect of the problem? Also, how serious is this problem
of discrimination against people who are different in schools in the
United States?
POSTED 4/28/99
R.N. Mohan, Bangalore, NA, India, <rnmohan@hotmail.com> , 24,
Male, Atheist, Asian, Gay, Student, Over 4 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 42699115614
Response:
This is a problem that is not talked about in American society.
Within our school system, students are often isolated and targeted
for bullying. Quite often these students group with other students
that have been targeted in a similar fashion. Everything I am hearing
in the media indicates that the 'Trench Coat Mafia' of Columbine High
School were just such a group. If these same kids had met under any
different circumstances, they might not have ever become friends. I
have brought this subject up with other people since the shootings
and their reactions were the same. Many kids are bullied while
they're in school, but they don't pack guns and build bombs to use
against their fellow classmates. The circumstances in this case
cannot be narrowed to just one thing. The problems they had in school
with bullying probably helped to fuel other problems they were
having, whether at home or elsewhere.
POSTED 4/29/99
M. Kemper, Tampa, FL, United States, 30, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Middle class, Mesg ID 4289951438
Response:
Yes, the problem is severe. I was a 'nerd' in high school, and I
hated everyone I went to high school with. I suffered some pretty
severe self-esteem issues until I was about 25. I see it today too,
because I work with troubled youth. Kids are cruel and do not realize
how badly they hurt other kids. It also seems that teachers do
nothing about this. In my high school when I talked to teachers about
it, they told me to 'toughen up.' I'm not excusing what happened, but
some kids have a shorter fuse than others.
POSTED 4/29/99
Leah, Erie, PA, United States, 27, White/Caucasian, Bisexual, 4 Years
of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 4289952222
Response:
I have often wondered this myself. It is like a man kicking his
dog for years, and one day, the dog biting the man on the leg, and
the man saying, 'How could this happen?' When I was in school, a few
star athletes nominated a homely girl with slight retardation for
Homecoming Queen as a joke. (Yes, stories like Carrie actually
happen.) I remember watching cheerleaders ask a painfully shy girl if
she was a lesbian, and laughing at her. One of my friends told me his
gym coach even led the taunting. If we admit that most humans would
break down with this kind of constant harrassment, we must also admit
that one of the ways they break down is to kill themselves, and
accept some accountability. There have been numerous movies about it:
The Breakfast Club, Heathers, Carrie, Revenge of the Nerds, Welcome
Back Roxy Carmichael. A review of Welcome to the Dollhouse said that
it was relentlessly cruel and a bad film because it didn't let the
viewer off the hook. It was, in other words, what some people go
through in real life. Is it really a serious problem? Read this link
and judge for yourself:
http://www.youth.org/loco/PERSONProject/Alerts/States/Michigan/nabozny.html
POSTED 4/29/99
Craig, Minnepolis, MN, United States, <cmorris@loft.org> , 35,
Male, White/Caucasian, Gay, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID
4289954343
Response:
I am a goth of sorts, and as such have experienced the alienation
those boys experienced. Yet never have I wanted to kill or hurt
someone for it. My goth friends and I agree: Our sympathy will always
be with the students who were killed and their families - not with
the murderers.
POSTED 4/29/99
A. Jacobs, Elkins Park, PA, United States,
<magic_uder@email.com> , 15, Male, Jewish, White/Caucasian,
Straight, HS student, Less than High School Diploma , Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 4289974150
To respond
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Question:
Where did the term "jap" (Jewish American Princess) originate, and
what traits or habits of Jewish women brought about this
stereotype?
POSTED 4/28/99
Kaylee P., Portland, OR, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Mesg
ID 4289953041
To respond
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Question:
Is there a dictionary or some other resource that defines rap words
and phrases? The beat is great, but I would like to know more of what
is being said.
POSTED 3/3/99
Ruth B., Female, Mesg ID 339924930
Response:
There is a site on the internet called 'The Rap Dictionary' that
defines many of the terms and phrases used in rap music. I've found
it to be incredibly useful because it's so thorough and
comprehensive. The website is at
http://www.rapdict.org/
POSTED 4/28/99
Nneka, Detroit, MI, United States, Female, Mesg ID 4289954545
To
respond
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Question:
SO134: Why does it seem that most male hairdressers, florists,
entertainers, interior decorators and clothing designers are gay?
Also, why do so many gay men seem to be into showtunes? Of course
there are exceptions, but there really does seem to be some truth to
those stereotypes.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
K., 20, straight white female
<gazelle_sunday@unforgettable.com>,
Potsdam, NY
Response:
I must admit, there is some truth to those stereotypes, just as
there is some truth to stereotypes about any other ethnic, religious
or cultural group. Stereotyping is a kind of classification system
that all human beings indulge in, but the hazard lies in
overgeneralizing, in assuming that stereotypes apply to all people in
a particular group. That having been said, I think many gay men are
more natually gifted than straight men in fields that require some
artistry, creativity and style. Show me 10 male hairdressers, and
I'll show you at least seven gay men. In years past, many of us in
the gay community did everything we could to combat such stereotypes,
thinking them negative. But today, many of us have come to accept the
fact that we are genuinely different. If anything, I think it
illustrates the fact that one's sexual orientation in innate, not
chosen.
POSTED 4/26/99
Chuck A., Spring Hill, WV, United States, <PolishBear@aol.com>
, Male, Gay, Mesg ID 42699100118
Response:
How many gay me do you know? I know or have known hundreds, and
very few fit the stereotypes you mentioned.
POSTED 4/26/99
Tony, San Francisco, CA, United States, <tonyway@yahoo.com> ,
37, Male, Agnostic, Black/African American, Gay, New Media/Grad
Student, Over 4 Years of College , Upper class, Mesg ID
42599112525
Response:
I don't buy that you're allowing for enough diversity in your
assessment of gay men. I know more than my fair share of mature,
adult, professional gay men who have varied musical, fashion, and
cultural sense - some loathe the overt 'silliness' of some 'queenie'
individuals, while others just think it's cute and a nice memory, or
altogether off-putting. You'd never guess one of my best friends, a
blue-collar, steer-roping, horse-training, truck-driving fisherman,
was gay.
But, to be true, those who had a difficult road on the path to
coming out, or just recently stepped into the light, do tend to enjoy
many, many, representations of sweetness, joy and overt happiness -
and sometimes that takes a Gershwin tune, doncha think?
POSTED 4/28/99
Kathryne, Birmingham, AL, United States, 28, Female, Methodist,
Straight, Consultant, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
4279955018
To respond
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Question:
GD68: What do people feel is worse: Blatant racism, such as KKK
rallies, or institutionalized racism, such as cops targeting/pulling
over blacks, people thinking there will never be a black president,
lack of jobs for minorities, worse schools for minorities,
etc.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1999
Skitherbud, San Diego, CA.
Response:
A couple of days ago I would have said that KKK rallies, while
disturbing and annoying, are as harmless as gatherings by any other
group of nut cases (NAMBLA, cultists, etc.) But occasionally tragic
events like Colorado come along and remind me that exposing the
(hopefully very small number of) people who are capable of killing to
a message of hate is a dangerous mix. As for the set of issues you
referred to as institutional racism, I still think these conflicts
are more hurtful in the long run because they foster the tensions and
reactions and anger that eventually lead to the hate necessary for
the creation of groups like the Klan. Maybe you can think of overt
racism as the spark that from time to time ignites the explosives of
racial tensions built up by institutional racism.
POSTED 4/26/99
Mark, Alexandria, VA, United States, 32, Male, Straight, Married,
Mesg ID 42699101259
Response:
I was going to say that each is equally detrimental, and then
changed my mind. Institutionalized racism is like a cancer that grows
from within and is extremely difficult to eradicate. This eradication
can typically only be accomplished via a complete disruption, and in
some cases destruction, to the system. Societal chemotherapy, if you
will. Blatant racism is a simpler battle. This is not meant to imply
that this form of racism is not as damaging as institutionalized
racism. It is just not a systemwide corruption. Its roots do not
penetrate through and attach themselves to the basic principles and
psyche of society's machinations. To correct blatant racism, you deal
with individuals or small groups as opposed to attempting to adjust
the gears, and unfortunately in some cases the foundations, of
certain facets of our government and society.
POSTED 4/26/99
David, Columbia, SC, United States, <dash@netside.com> , 29,
Male, White/Caucasian, Mesg ID 42699102325
To
respond
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