Best of the Week
of April 30, 2000
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of April 30, 2000, as
selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the
Week" entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing
Y?'s new database using the search form,
or, in the case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in
the Original Archives (all
questions from the Original Archives have been entered into
the new database as well). In the Original Archives and the new
database, you will find questions that have received answers, as well
as questions still awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer
any questions relevant to your demographic background, as well as to
ask any provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not
necessarily meant to represent the views of an entire demographic
group, but can provide a window into the insights of an individual
from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
Question:
To women: Does the pill reduce your sexual desire?
POSTED 5/4/2000
Zuhair R., Dubai, NA, United Arab Emirates,
<zuhair@lcnsys.com>, 20, Male, African of Asian Decent,
Straight, Network Engineer, 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg
ID 54200040658
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Question:
Why are disease rates higher among blacks for life-threatening
conditions such as diabetes, heart attacks, AIDS and cancer? Why is
this always the case? Am I the only one who notices?
POSTED 5/4/2000
Country, Cleveland, OH, United States,
<dmoss22922@hotmail.com>, 31, Male, Baptist, Black/African
American, Straight, Computer Consultant, 4 Years of College , Upper
middle class, Mesg ID 522000105547
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Question:
To people who have loved ones who are suffering or have suffered from
Alzheimers disease: My mother is in the final stages of the disease.
Can you give me any details on how bad they were in their final
days?
POSTED 5/1/2000
Concerned daughter, Nicosia, NA, Cyprus, 45, Female, Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 426200024153
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Question:
Knowing that homosexuality is in many instances deemed immoral in the
Bible, how can a gay person be a true Christian? Sodom and Gomorrah
were destroyed for reasons of sexual immorality and perversion
(homosexuality, bestiality, premarital sex, etc.), so how can a gay
person claim to be a Christian with this knowledge in mind?
Christians are not perfect, but in our daily walk, we continually
make the effort to be as good as possible. A true Christian would
eliminate homosexuality from his or her life in order to have a true
relationship with Christ. So how do gay people rationalize this?
POSTED 5/1/2000
Jared, Baton Rouge, LA, United States, 19, Male, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, student/office clerk, 2 Years of College ,
Middle class, Mesg ID 419200055551
Responses:
Go back and read your Bible. You have been told that the Bible
condemns homosexuality; go back and read the verses. For example,
Leviticus, 18:22 and 20:13. You think because the Bible says it, it
must be law. Have you really read all of Leviticus? If so, you know
that you are not following the law, and as such, you are not a 'true'
Christian. The sin of Sodom, per the 'true' Christian's reading, is
homosexuality. Read Ezekiel, 16:49-50, Matthew, 10: 14-15 and Luke,
10:7-16. Hmmm. Unless you can say that you faithfully follow each and
every law that Leviticus lays out, don't accuse gay Christians of
rationalizing their belief/faith. My experience has been that most
gay-baiting Christians who come into Oak Lawn to save us lost sheep
can't withstand more than five minutes of detailed Bible reading
before they give up and look for someone more vulnerable. Faith is
not an absolute - remember that Christ is the PERSONAL savior for
all, not the GENERIC savior. My vision of and belief in God is just
as real as yours, even if it is different from yours. Check out
http://www.whosoever.org/index.html for further reading on the
subject.
POSTED 5/1/2000
Mark B., Dallas, TX, United States, <civic-si@swbell.net>, 39,
Male, Christian, White/Caucasian, Gay, Financial Analyst, 2 Years of
College , Lower middle class, Mesg ID 512000103808
Jesus himself said that all we needed was to love God, and love
our neighbors as ourselves. The message of Christianity is tolerance
and love, not judging and pointing fingers and saying, 'I'm a better
Christian because I don't do what you do.' It seems to me that people
who do that commit their own special sin - the sin of arrogance,
presuming to know the mind of God. Who are any of us to decide that
we have a better chance of going to heaven than anyone else?
POSTED 5/4/2000
Laura O., Bel Air, MD, United States, 38, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, teacher/writer/editor, Over 4 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 532000111153
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Question:
To journalists: How has the Internet affected your career and/or
industry? What will future journalists in your field need to do
differently as far as training and education are concerned? Where do
you see the future of your field in the hands of the Internet? And
does it make you nervous?
POSTED 5/1/2000
Evelyn H., Columbus, OH, United States, 23, Female, Atheist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, student, 2 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 425200055904
Responses:
The Internet is changing journalism just as writing changed oral
societies, radio changed print media, television changed radio, etc.
I don't feel nervous regarding newspapers, television or any other
form of medium, because the fact is, we all end up working in circles
and this is just one more ring. Man bites dog in Podunk, USA, where
the little newspaper picks it up, it hits a wire, it goes on
television, radio, the Internet, etc. You could replace any one of
those mediums in the order and it would be the same. Also, as long as
there are advertisers, there will be those forms of media that they
support. People like newspapers because they offer local sports
coverage (sorry, your kid probably won't be on MSNBC online) and
other local stories. Overall, the Internet is another tool that all
journalists can use for research and access.
POSTED 5/4/2000
Brian, Kokomo, IN, United States, 24, Male, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, journalist, 4 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 52200052110
I've worked for newspapers for 15 years, and the main effect of
the Internet is to give journalists more options: More places to work
and, for those of us who want to stay in newspapers, more sources of
information and people. It's been a terrific tool. In my daily job,
the only difference is that I might write an earlier version of a
story for our web site on a breaking story before I do one for the
next day's paper. I'm not sure that future journalists will need any
different training. The same rules apply with information from the
Internet as from any other source - beware of the motivation behind
what you find, make sure it's accurate and doublecheck what you can.
As far as I'm concerned, the Internet is nothing but a blessing for
journalism. The more information outlets, the better.
POSTED 5/4/2000
Andrew, Huntington, NY, United States, <ziptron@start.com.au>,
36, Male, Reporter, 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
53200090544
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Question:
To female athletes: How do you feel playing traditionally male
sports? What do you think about the boxing deal with "Smokin' Joe
Frasier's" daughter?
POSTED 5/1/2000
Carrie, Constantia, NY, United States, 15, Female, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, Less than High School Diploma,
Mesg ID 425200075239
Responses:
I am female, a college student and a freestyle wrestler. My view
on being in a male-dominated sport is this: If I'm good at it and
have fun, it doesn't matter which gender dominates the sport. I
suppose it helps that wrestling is gaining more popularity among
women, so I'm not in the same boat as a female boxer or hockey
player, who are still in the extreme minority.
POSTED 5/4/2000
Mel, Gunnison, CO, United States, <tjolims@hotmail.com>, 19,
Female, Christian, Black/African American, Straight, Mesg ID
522000103323
I say more power to them and God help their boyfriends. Personally
I can't watch female boxing. It just doesn't sit right with me. I
can't even watch two drunken bag ladies rumble. It ruins the pristine
image I have of the female. Maybe it's time they came off of that
pedestal.
POSTED 5/4/2000
Seamus, Charlestown, MA, United States, 20, Male, Clock watcher, High
School Diploma , Lower class, Mesg ID 522000103325
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Question:
To kids: Why do kids feel they have to take their lives, and that
they can't turn to anyone? What would make someone take their own
life? What kind of person can make someone feel so insignificant that
they'll take their own life?
POSTED 4/23/2000
J, Lara, CA, United States, <boykenpo@yahoo.com>, Male,
Catholic, Straight, Mesg ID 45200011552
Responses:
I'm a 14-year-old high school freshman and have been depressed
for about 2 1/2 years. I have had suicidal thoughts for about two of
them. I have attempted suicide once, but my parents came home and I
was forced to stop. My plan was, and still is, to overdose on
aspirin. Frankly, it is hard to explain the feelings associated with
depression, especially in teenagers. Often, as in my case, you lose
touch with reality. My friends tell me I have become 'too sensitive.'
I alternate between crying and yelling, mainly because I do not know
how else to express the pain I am carrying around inside of me. I
feel like a hopeless recluse who can't do anything right. I think of
suicide at least one time every hour of every day. Unfortunately,
recognizing there is something wrong with me and knowing I need
professional help is not enough to actually get it. It feels like I
am at the bottom of a very dark pit, and everyone else is living
above me. The more I scream for help, the farther away they get. I've
broken off from the world. I'm always tired, and I sleep as much as
possible on weekends, just to escape the horror that has become my
life. I've lost any pretense of a social life. I am slowly wasting
away, becoming a body without a soul. I am rapidly becoming more
desperate, and my thoughts of suicide become more frequent and
elaborate. The way I see it, the world would be better off without
people like me contaminating the gene pool. Yet, I am still afraid to
ask for help. Afraid that my peers will see me as even more strange
than they already think I am, afraid that I might be hospitalized and
be forced to quit school for a few months, which would ruin my
chances to go to a good college, if I haven't done that already.
Perhaps, most of all, I am afraid that someone might actually
listen.
POSTED 4/26/2000
Katie, San Diego, CA, United States,
<IntergalacticKat@aol.com>, 14, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, Less than High School Diploma ,
Middle class, Mesg ID 425200085524
Dear Katie, I was heartbroken when I read your posting. Why are
you in distress? There is so much to life, of course life has its bad
sides, but it also has its wonderful aspects, too. I do not know your
pains and what you have gone through, but I do know that you are NOT
in the worst position. You should not let you pains overwhelm you,
please try and get control of your life. There is so much to this
beautiful and sacred world, it really has a lot to offer. Please try
and seek help, go to a compassionate school counselor who will relate
to your pain and help you. Life is really sacred and should never be
thrown away. You have so much to offer. If you think you have a
rotten life, can you imagine how the hungry kids in Africa or Romania
feel? Indulge yourself with positve things: flowers, candy, genuine
laughter, good adventurous novels and good company. PLEASE SEEK HELP.
TAKE CARE AND SMILE.
POSTED 4/26/2000
Ify, Miami, FL, United States, <ifebigh77@hotmail>, 22, Female,
Black/African American, student, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID
426200090503
People commit suicide because they are suffering from an illness
called depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain
that is an actual illness just like diabetes or cancer. The only
thing that will help is medication and therapy. You cannot "will"
this illness away by thinking how lucky you are to have what you do
have. Usually people don't ask for help when they need it the most
because they are aren't being themselves and are not thinking clearly
or acting normally. If you know of somebody suffering from this
illness, please see that they receive the help they need.
POSTED 5/1/2000
Peggy, Ontario, NA, Canada, <dptanner@magma.ca>, 39, Female,
Catholic, White/Caucasian, Straight, Bipolar Disorder, 2 Years of
College , Middle class, Mesg ID 429200031629
To Ify: Talk about devaluing someone's feelings! Should Katie feel
better knowing she is only depressed and not starving or suffering
some other fate? To her, her pain is just as real, just as
devastating as anyone else's, and to say, 'Tut tut, come now, there
are kids out there starving to death' sure does dismiss what it is
she is feeling. It sounds like your heart is in the right place, Ify,
but what anyone who feels despair to such depths needs is someone to
REALLY LISTEN and REALLY CARE in a way that they can understand and
feel (in my opinion). Not being able to climb out of a big, dark hole
is a pretty major life event, especially if you've ever been there.
Comparing their pain to someone else's does them no good and makes
them feel insignificant (again, in my opinion). All the advice given
Katie further up is good and valid information. And Katie, thanks for
being so brutally honest. Take a chance and reach out ... it might
make a difference in your life.
POSTED 5/1/2000
Jammy D., Burke, VA, United States, <Jammydodger10@yahoo.com>,
39, Female, Christian, White/Caucasian, Straight, Financial Services,
4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 429200032829
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Question:
If this is to be a color-blind society, why do blacks have the Negro
College Fund, NAACP and other organizations that promote racial
separatism?
POSTED 5/1/2000
William J., Lihue, HI, United States, Male, Mesg ID
4192000101507
Responses:
If this were and had been a color blind society, we would not
need the Negro College Fund, NAACP and other organizations that
promote racial separatism. But it is not. Therefore, such
organizations are needed to avail opportunities to people of races
denied the chances in life by the 20/20 vision of our prejudicial
society.
POSTED 5/4/2000
Michael P., New York, NY, United States, 24, Male, Mesg ID
52200015121
My understanding of it is that 'color-blind' means one skin color
will not carry privilege over any other skin color. Not that we all
have to be the same. How boring would that be? Racism is abundant in
the world today. It can be very subtle and can also be unintentional
because of lack of awareness. Organizations aligned with any given
culture seek to promote racial equality by evening up the playing
field, politically, economically, etc. They also help those who are
put at a disadvantage by racism to maintain their cultural identity.
This is usually essential to one's self-esteem and overall
well-being. This is something that may be difficult to understand if
you have never experienced discrimination. I have only begun to
understand how all this applies to me, and I have a long way to
go.
POSTED 5/4/2000
Lia, San Diego, CA, United States, 23, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Over 4 Years of College , Middle
class,Mesg ID 54200042229
I wonder if you would level the same criticism at a St. Patrick's
Day parade. Doesn't that 'promote separatism' of the Irish against
everyone else, according to your argument? For the the record, the
NAACP was founded by blacks AND whites and has people of all
backgrounds as members. Historically black colleges have non-black
faculty and students, such as my cousin. A real example of separatism
would be the college George W. Bush got so much flack for speaking
at. But the NAACP or St. Patrick's Day are just designed to promote
the well-being of people of a particular group with their own needs,
not to be hostile to other groups.
POSTED 5/4/2000
A.C.C., W. Lafayette, IN, United States, Male, Mexican and American
Indian, Mesg ID 512000105742
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Question:
I've seen it said in the media many times that in Islam, a male who
dies fighting for Islam goes to Heaven and gets some large number of
virgins (maybe 70? I can't remember). All of which is fine, but I
always wonder what the incentive is for Islamic women to behave. Do
women go to Heaven? Do they have a role except in relation to
men?
POSTED 5/1/2000
Leslie, Topeka, KS, United States, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian,
Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 4302000120232
Responses:
I guess you would probably expect a woman to answer this, but I
hope my point of view will be able to help you out. Rights and
responsiblities of men and women in Islam are divided so that they
reach an equilibrium. An accusation often made against Muslims is
that the Qur'an says Man has been made stronger than women, to be
able to handle certain responsibilies. This is not discrimination,
but a fact of nature, that man is physically stronger than a women,
but the best of people is decided on faith and not whether they are a
man or a woman. In regard to women in heaven, they are called Hurs,
and believing women will be given Men, called Ghilman. So there is no
difference in that. I suggest you check the links below, especially
the second one; they should answer all your questions and show you
the position of women in Islam. If you require any further
information, you can always email me. Here are the links:
1)http://www.al-islam.org/al-tawhid/default.asp?url=women-society.htm;
2) http://www.al-islam.org/WomanRights/index.html
POSTED 5/4/2000
Zuhair R., Dubai, NA, United Arab Emirates,
<zuhair@lcnsys.com>, 20, Male, Muslim, African of Asian Decent,
Straight, Network Engineer, 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg
ID 54200040434
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