Best of the Week
of May 9, 2004
Best of Week Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges either
begun or advanced during the week of May 9, 2004, as selected by Y? These
postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries from previous weeks, also
can be found by accessing Y?'s database using the search
form
, or, in the case of posted before April 24, 1999, in the
Original Archives
(all questions from the Original Archives have been entered into
the database as well). In the Original Archives, as well as in the database,
you will find questions that have received answers, as well as questions
still awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer any questions relevant
to your demographic background, as well as to ask any provocative question
you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily meant to represent the views
of an entire demographic group, but can provide a window into the insights
of an individual from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s
guidelines pages for asking
and answering
questions.
Question:
Why do so many people refer to non-sexually related items or actions as
'gay'? The word 'gay' has developed nearly the same importance as the words
'stupid' or 'inane.' Why is it used instead of these supposed synonyms?
POSTED 5/2/2004
Will M., Pine Grove, CA, United States, 17, Male, Catholic, White/Caucasian,
Straight, student, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID 4282004104521
Responses:
Ugh, tell me about it. I was chatting with my 14-year-old cousin a couple
of weeks back, and when I asked him what he was doing for Earth Day, he replied,
'Earth Day? Ew ... that is so gay.' I challenged his manner of applying
a sexual term to something as inanimate as a holiday. He said flatly: 'Because
it is a gay holiday. I don't like it.' I told him he could say he didn't
like it, but not that it was gay, because that term can only be applied to
a person. He replied: 'I DON'T LIKE IT! ... and it is gay.' Talk about an
age gap.
POSTED 5/10/2004
Kelly, Los Angeles, CA, United States, 20, Female, Atheist, Hispanic/Latino
(may be any race), Straight, Sales Rep/Student, 2 Years of College, Lower
class, Mesg ID 54200454957
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Question:
In Exodus 20 it states, 'Thou shalt not kill.' I would assume Christians
would say this means that life should be cherished and people should not
be harmed. But what else should Christians believe this phrase means?
POSTED 5/10/2004
Natasha, Cheshire, IL, United Kingdom, 15, Female, Christian, Straight,
student, Technical School, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 59200470649
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Question:
Do white people's pubic hairs have the same color as their other hair?
POSTED 5/2/2004
Regal, Beijing, NA, China, Mesg ID 429200435941
Responses:
I heard that Asians don't have hair anywhere but on their heads. I thought
most people with dark hair have dark pubic hair. Doesn't everyone have the
same color hair everywhere on their bodies?
POSTED 5/5/2004
Jorma, Reston, VA, United States, Mesg ID 53200445440
What a funny subject. As far as I know the answer is yes - although blondes'
head hair is lighter because of the sun. I have a friend who dated a redhead
and said her hair was red all over.
POSTED 5/5/2004
Jay, New York, NY, United States, Mesg ID 54200413320
If they are white brunettes, no. If they are white and naturally blonde,
yes.
POSTED 5/5/2004
Kelly, Los Angeles, CA, United States, 20, Female, Atheist, Hispanic/Latino
(may be any race), Straight, Sales Rep/ Student, 2 Years of College, Lower
class, Mesg ID 54200452132
Usually they are similar in color; I have light brown hair, a slightly
reddish beard and almost blond pubic hair. I wish it was up the other way!
POSTED 5/10/2004
Kent, Sydney, NA, Australia, 40, Male, Episcopalian, White/Caucasian, Straight,
Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 57200435802
In my experiences with women, usually the pubes are somewhat darker than
the hair on the head when dealing with fairheaded people. For myself, that's
how it is. While the hair on my head is dirty blond and my beard is fire
red, my pubes are boringly brunette.
POSTED 5/10/2004
Seamus, Charlestown, MA, United States, 23, Male, Construction, Lower middle
class, Mesg ID 572004103859
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Question:
As I was growing up I noticed that a lot of my white friends couldn't get
their ears pierced until they were around 16. I have noticed that black
and Hispanic people usually get their babies' ears pierced before they are
even a year old. What is wrong with ear piercing in the white community?
POSTED 5/10/2004
Hana, Vienna, VA, United States, Female, Mesg ID 54200410910
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Question:
I heard that sometime in the 15th or 16th century, a naval battle between
Great Britain and Spain resulted in the Spanish Armada being decimated,
with surviving Spanish sailors taking refuge in Ireland. After some years
of mixing between Spanish men and Irish women, there resulted an ethnic
group known as 'Black Irish': Irish people with Mediterranean features.
Is this true, or just an urban legend
POSTED 5/10/2004
C., Pontiac, MI, United States, 35, Male, Black/African American, Over
4 Years of College, Upper class, Mesg ID 54200451712
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Question:
I'm only 16 but tend to not let my real self out. Not a single person I
know actually knows what I'm really like. I also don't tell anyone when I'm
injured, which is bad because I've broken five bones but my friends only know
about three of them. Why can't I just tell people what I want to?
POSTED 5/10/2004
Sam R., Melbourne, NA, Australia, <Wildanimalz@hotmail.com>, 16,
Female, Atheist, White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, High School Diploma,
Middle class, Mesg ID 572004111920
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Question:
It seems whenever a white person is rejected for a job, they will cry and
complain of 'Affirmative Action,' even when no proof exists that this is
so. If whites want blacks to stop 'playing the race card,' shouldn't they
learn to stop playing the 'Affirmative Action' card? Can they not accept
that a black person may have been chosen over them fair and square?
POSTED 5/10/2004
Amber, Greenville, NC, United States, 23, Female, Black/African American,
student, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 572004125906
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Question:
Why is it that I always see so many black guys who pimp up an old 'granny
car'? I mean big, old, worn-out cars with spinner rims, etc. Is that just
in Oklahoma, or does anyone else know what I'm talking about?
POSTED 5/10/2004
K., Tulsa, OK, United States, 20, Female, White/Caucasian, Straight, student,
2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 57200495248
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Question:
Do atheists always dislike seeing or hearing references to God, or
only in certain situations, such as during the Pledge of Allegiance? Does
the word 'God' on money anger atheists? If so, why?
POSTED 5/2/2004
Sam B., Sacramento, CA, United States, Female, Christian, Mesg ID 422200482837
Responses:
Coincidentally, I happened across a bulletin board this week where the
core of the discussion was about removing the word GOD from paper bills
and writing Us or Me above it. The dialogue went on to talk about the hundreds
and thousands of bills they could effectively change as a group and referred
to them as “Corrected Bills”. One or two seemed angry, but mostly the dialogue
was reinforcing separation of Church and State, and that they are just doing
what they feel the government ought to be doing. They went on to talk about
efforts being made in Belgium and Finland to do the same to the Euro. But
this is just one site, and they seemed quite serious about their money having
GOD on it, or as they will only type: “IGWT”.
POSTED 5/5/2004
Dave, Long Island, NY, United States, 36, Male, White/Caucasian, Pre Outsourced
Techie, Technical School, Middle class, Mesg ID 55200424136
I am not an atheist, but I can understand how they feel. I was raised Catholic,
but am no longer 'Christian' in the way Christians define themselves. I
mind all the references to God - in the pledge, on the money, in opening
prayers at sporting events, graduations, etc. It is not right that the majority
disrespects the minority - no matter who the minority is. I have a lot of
respect for Jesus, Buddah, Gandhi, Mother Teresa and other people who have
taught us to live selflessly. However, I don't think the Christian majority
will like it when they become the minority and we start our prayers to Allah,
or Yahweh, or some other name for the same diety. Jesus Christ did not condone
what Christians are doing. 'Render unto Ceaser that which is Ceasar's, render
unto God that which is God's. Even Jesus knew that some things are earthly
and some are spiritual. He knew they were separate. He never condemned anyone
but the Pharasees. Christians need to be mindful not to condemn others. And
they need to, like Jesus, respect a separation of church and state.
POSTED 5/10/2004
Colleen, Brunswick, ME, United States, 43, Female, Teacher's Aide, 2 Years
of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 532004111126
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Question:
A lot of Americans own firearms for personal protection (by this I mean
against criminals, not wild animals). I don't own one, but I've tried using
pistols at a firing range and can imagine the sense of power and security
one must feel by having one. But I'm curious: do they really provide that
power and security in an actual dangerous scenario, or do they make it even
worse? I would love to hear from someone who has used or brandished a firearm
against someone, and what effect it had.
POSTED 5/2/2004
Tor, Naestved, NA, Denmark, 25, Male, White/Caucasian, Gay, anxiety attacks,
unemployed, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 4272004112027
Responses:
I have never had to use a firearm or weapon to defend myself, so I know
I am not the person you are looking for, but I do have som knowledge. If
the attacker is aware you have a gun, he or she will be more likely to shoot
first - or not come at all. There are, however, many cases of a person pulling
a gun on an intruder and having that gun turned on them. There are also just
as many cases, maybe more, of that not happening. If you are thinking about
getting a gun for personal defense, make sure to enroll in a gun safety
class and some sort of weapon familiarization course. You local police department
should hold safety courses. Your local gun shop should have information
on weapons training courses
POSTED 5/10/2004
Chris, Athens, GA, United States, 21, Male, Christian, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Student, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 54200462939
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Question:
I am Chinese and have noticed that, in most cases, whites' faces are more
beautiful than ours. But this is only my feeling; I want to know whether
others, such as blacks, whites or Indians, have the same feeling. Also, do
you think Chinese and Japanese faces are too plain or ugly?
POSTED 5/2/2004
Gu Li, Changchun, NA, China, <ligu95@126.com>, Asian, Mesg ID 4272004114257
Responses:
It's so funny you should say that because I am white and think that overall
Chinese (and Asian in general) women are the most beautiful women of all
races. I don't think Chinese or Japanese women have plain faces at all -
have you ever seen Chinese-American actress Lucy Lui? She's stunning! You
will find that black women will not feel the same as you; they do not like
white women at all.
POSTED 5/5/2004
Jay, New York, NY, United States, Mesg ID 54200412641
What a coincidence. Just yesterday I was marveling at how naturally beautiful
most Chinese and Japanese girls are. I have noticed that in general, these
women wear very little if any makeup, and just exhibit what nature endowed
them. Americans, especially Caucasian and African-American women, sometimes
look like clowns with all that makeup we pile on. I used to wear a lot of
makeup, but I am refraining from doing so because I have realized I fancy
the natural look much more.
POSTED 5/5/2004
Kelly, Los Angeles, CA, United States, 20, Female, Atheist, Hispanic/Latino
(may be any race), Straight, Sales Rep/ Student, 2 Years of College, Lower
class, Mesg ID 54200454134
I was stunned by your question. I had always considered Asian faces much
more attractive, in general, than whites' faces. It seems to me like a pure
matter of personal opinion.
POSTED 5/5/2004
D. Slobodyanik, Woodbine, MD, United States, 16, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Student, Less than High School Diploma, Upper middle class, Mesg
ID 54200472509
What a sad posting. It is horrible that you feel this way. I am white and
find some Chinese and Japanese faces very beautiful, just as I find some
white faces very beautiful. I think maybe this is a good example of how the
Western world has brainwashed the rest of the world through pop culture -
I read that many Asians are even having eyelid surgery to make their eyes
more 'Caucasian'.
POSTED 5/5/2004
Patty, Antalya, NA, Turkey, 31, Female, White/Caucasian, Mesg ID 55200450039
It's unhealthy to consider your own or an entire race's face ugly. There
are beautiful Asian men and women here and everywhere, and it's the same
for people who don't fall into what's considered 'beautiful'. Some Thai and
Korean people I know mention that they wish they had a 'stronger' bridge
to their noses, that their' is flat. White people wish, sometimes (OK, me!)
that they had 'stronger' cheekbones, or that they didn't have to shave every
morning. I can only hope you are still young and will learn in time that,
despite what Hollywood shows in the movies, every person and race is beautiful
- or, sometimes, not so pretty.
POSTED 5/10/2004
Jason, San Francisco, CA, United States, 35, Male, White/Caucasian, Gay,
Case Manager, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 522004111345
I don't know what to say in response to this, except to suggest that you
seek a therapist. Your self-esteem level is at minus zero. But as another
person mentioned, it is partly due to the brainwashing in this country,
that white is the only standard by which to measure beauty. Having said
that, there is an abundance of ugly in every ethnic group. No group is immune
to the 'ugly' factor. I've seen some gorgeous people - white, Asian, black
- and an equal number of people who should be required by law to wear bags
over their heads.
POSTED 5/10/2004
Rhonda P. Outlaw, Laurelton, NY, United States, 42, Female, Lutheran, Black/African
American, Straight, Account Rep, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg
ID 562004104028
Your statement sounds as if you are buying into the 'European' view of
beauty rather than seeing beauty for what it is: different and special for
every person and group. All racial/ethnic groups have people who are breathtakingly
beautiful, as well as those who are definitely 'trolls.' Depending on an
individual's point of view, the same person you view as beautiful can be
viewed as ugly by others, and vice versa. The unfortunate aspect of the European
point of view is that it is incredibly narrow and limited - if one doesn't
have blond hair, blue eyes, etc., then that person is not beautiful - which
is bunk. Personally, I think black people are the most beautiful people on
earth (being black myself, you can say I'm a little biased), but I have also
seen amazingly beautiful people of all races and ethnicities, as well as
trolls of all types. Actually, I find that white faces often are 'lacking'
- often because the whites I encounter follow beauty trends slavishly, with
the dedication and intensity of a lemming, rather than do what better suits
them as an individual. As far as your last statement, I find that the characteristics
unique to Asian people are what make your faces beautiful - from the Chinese
and Japanese people I've encountered, who wouldn't find beauty in round faces,
amazing skin, dark eyes, the contrast between the smooth, pale skin and dark
hair, etc.? Don't get me wrong - I'm totally straight - but Joan Chen has
to be one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, as merely one example
out of many. You didn't mention your age - if you are young, hopefully with
time you will come to appreciate your unique beauty; if you are older, wake
up before it's too late.
POSTED 5/10/2004
Gail, Chicago, IL, United States, 42, Female, Catholic, Black/African American,
Straight, IT Management, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
56200422806
Why people of any ethnicity would think whites are universally more attractive
is confounding. In the past, before the civil rights/black pride era, many
blacks in the United States felt aesthetically inferior to whites. Thank
goodness those days are behind us. Since more blacks like what they see when
they look in the mirror, other ethnicities now see blacks as more beautiful.
Maybe it's time for an East Asian pride cultural revolution.
POSTED 5/10/2004
G-Man, San Francisco Bay area, CA, United States, 48, Male, Black/African
American, Bisexual, 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 56200444007
It might be the effect of marketing that often uses Caucasian models, but
I wonder if your perception might have something to do with 'exoticness'.
If you live in an area with very few Caucasians, you might find their looks
more striking as a result.
POSTED 5/10/2004
L., Montreal, Quebec, NA, Canada, 24, Male, Unitarian, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Graduate Student, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
58200490918
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