Best of the Week
of May 18, 2003
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of May 18, 2003, as selected
by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries from
previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s database using
the search form , or, in the case of posted
before April 24, 1999, in the Original
Archives (all questions from the Original Archives have
been entered into the database as well). In the Original Archives, as
well as in the database, you will find questions that have received
answers, as well as questions still awaiting responses. You are
encouraged to answer any questions relevant to your demographic
background, as well as to ask any provocative question you desire.
Answers posted are not necessarily meant to represent the views of an
entire demographic group, but can provide a window into the insights
of an individual from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop
at Y?'s guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
The book on Y? is
here!
"Why Do White People Smell
Like Wet Dogs
When They Come Out Of The Rain?"
Order it here!
Read the Associated Press story
on "Wet Dogs"
Question:
I always thought reaching the mid-40s was the kiss of death for
women as far as dating. But I am noticing much younger men flirting
with me. Do younger men really like older women? Is it purely sexual?
What's up?
POSTED 5/22/2003
Valerie, Ft. Lauderdale, FL, United States, 45, Female, Mormon,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Sales, 2 Years of College, Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 513200310550
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Question:
Why do people automatically think that a guy is gay if he looks
great and has a certain sense of style, or only wears certain
clothes? I mean, some women do this, so why can't men?
POSTED 5/22/2003
Jen, Flint, MI, United States, Mesg ID 5142003104234
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Question:
Why do so many Hollywood films seem to feature villains played
by British (more specifically English) actors? For example, in Robin
Hood Prince of Thieves, heroic Robin and his men are played by
American actors (even though it's set in Medieval England), while the
Sheriff of Nottingham, the evil guy, is played by a very English
actor, Alan Rickman. There are many other examples. Is it acceptable
for some reason for the English accent to represent evil, when other
accents would be unacceptable?
POSTED 5/11/2003
Kathy B., London, NA, United Kingdom, 40s, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Middle class, Mesg ID 59200342753
Responses:
If you think only British accents are used to represent villains,
you aren't paying much attention to movies. How about all the Arab
terrorists, Latino drug dealers and black 'ghetto-sounding' gang
members that make up a far larger portion of film villains? How about
all the Russian villains or Italian mafiosos? British accents in the
American mind represent the upper class, old money or other
privileged elites, which only by coincidence also makes them good
villains. Think about the Star Wars series, for example. Frankly, we
get all too many movies that assume a British accent equals
sophistication and the height of culture. Think James Bond or all
those boring Ivory Merchant films.
POSTED 5/20/2003
A.C.C., Phoenix, AZ, United States, Male, Mexican and American
Indian, Mesg ID 513200364332
Don't you think maybe you put too much thought into that? Why does
everyone want to be a victim? Did you ever stop to think maybe he was
just the best actor for the part and it had nothing to do with
accents?
POSTED 5/20/2003
Natasha, Kansas City, KS, United States, Female, Mesg ID
514200322704
My guess is that it's just a quick and dirty way to show
'otherness,' especially if you are not a very good actor or the
director doesn't think the audience is smart enough to deal with
villains that don't 'talk funny.' It's not just English accents:
German, French, etc. are also used.
POSTED 5/20/2003
Ramonna, Pensacola, FL, United States, Female, Episcopalian,
Black/African American, Straight, Over 4 Years of College, Upper
middle class, Mesg ID 515200391620
I'm from England and I've noticed this, too - almost every movie
I've ever seen has had a British-accented bad guy. And they are
always rational, exceptionally intelligent bad guys - never
slash-and-grab types. I've also noticed that Eastern European accents
are sometimes used for intelligent, calculating criminals. I think
the PC crowd would not be so accepting of other accents used for the
same types of roles. Recently, groups have boycotted various movies
because of the use of Middle-Eastern accents for the villains. I
guess because the British are a Western, Caucasion people, it is
considered OK to stereotype them. At least we are portrayed as
intelligent and elegant people, and even though that's a stereotype,
it's better than some of the other stereotypes.
POSTED 5/20/2003
Jay, New York, NY, United States, Male, Mesg ID 516200394829
I have two theories why so many Hollywood baddies are British.
First, an English accent, especially the to-the-manor-born type an
Alan Rickman can achieve, tends to symbolize breeding (authority) in
this country. Mainstream American movies are built on the idea of the
'little guy' defying authority. Second, because most British-accented
actors are white, they make a perfect image for villains, as a bad
guy of any other ethnic background would bring accusations of racism.
POSTED 5/20/2003
S.B., Detroit, MI, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, 4 Years
of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 517200394933
I don't think Brits are portrayed as evil. However, in many
historical movies in which the language of the country was not
English (i.e. The Gladiator), all the characters have British
accents. Americans think that by sounding 'Britishy,' you sound
regal, educated and formal, sometimes to the point of being uptight.
POSTED 5/20/2003
John, New York, NY, United States, Male, Mesg ID 519200331655
If the film is an American production, I will venture to say that
the villain or antagonist is going to be represented as a foreigner
99 percent of the time, even though some people here are convinced
that anyone who speaks proper English can't be a foreigner. Hollywood
offers a very distorted reality. To attempt to answer your question,
I can only reason that in the context of a film that takes place in
England, made almost exclusively for a U.S. audience, you can be
certain that anything American (accent or actor) will never be used
to portray 'the bad guy.' Conversely, have you ever noticed how in
British films, television shows and novels, continental Europeans and
other foreigners and their accents are the epitome of evil? Nearly
every James Bond movie has a foreigner as the villain; even Count
Dracula in Bram Stoker's novel is meant to represent everything that
wasn't English and Victorian. Look at most historical films about the
Romans, Biblical stories, World War II films, etc: the protagonists
all use British accents. I suppose it depends on who is directing the
film and in which country, which brings up another fact that most
movies are not even filmed in the country where they are supposedly
taking place. By the way, Alan Rickman played the best villain in Die
Hard as Hans Gruber. Remember?
POSTED 5/20/2003
Christian, Boston, MA, United States, Mesg ID 520200390428
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Question:
Why do black people think it's OK to be loud and disruptive at
the movie theater?
POSTED 5/22/2003
Natasha, Kansas City, KS, United States, 22, Female,
White/Caucasian, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID
514200324050
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Question:
I am going through the process of coming out, and because I am
in my late 20s it is probably easier for me than many others who are
forced to in their adolescent years. I am comfortable with my
sexuality and wear a small pride necklace every day to my job in
community teen programming. I'm worried about how to respond to a
parent who may have a problem with me being gay and 'exposing their
child to immorality.' While I do not discuss or promote my sexuality
with teens, much less anybody at work, it is part of who I am, and I
feel an obligation as a very feminine gay woman to show that we do
not all 'look gay.' How should I defend myself against a homophobic
parent?
POSTED 5/22/2003
Shannon, Glendale, CA, United States, 29, Female, Humanist,
White/Caucasian, Lesbian, Community Services Specialist- Teen
Programs, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 514200334431
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Question:
Why is it that black men frequently wear the most
ridiculous-looking suits? Bright colors like pink, white and red,
with matching hats? Just curious.
POSTED 5/22/2003
F., Baltimore, MD, United States, Mesg ID 514200373833
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Question:
As a gay man, it seems to me that our society is obsessed with
'lesbianisnm' (just check out the "Girls Gone Wild" videos). So why
is it so dangerous for two guys to do the same thing? What is it
about two guys that you straight people find so offensive?
POSTED 5/22/2003
Bill, Ft. Dodge, IA, United States, 30, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Gay, waiter, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class,
Mesg ID 5162003115022
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Question:
I am a social worker and want to know what people think of
people in the profession. I am a conservative white female. However,
because I am a social worker, people tend to think I must be a
'bleeding heart liberal' because I work with people who are less
fortunate or have mental health problems. Also, is there a stereotype
of women in this profession as being 'dowdy' as compared to women in
other professions, for example, in the business field? I am asking
because I recently retired and am seeking a career change, and I do
not know whether the employers I've sent resumes to are not
considering me because of stereotypes about me or because of my
qualifications.
POSTED 5/11/2003
Linda C., Ann Arbor, MI, United States, 55, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Social worker, Over 4 Years of College,
Mesg ID 59200315120
Responses:
Hmmm. Interesting
question. I would never have thought of social workers as being dowdy
any moreso than anyone else, and don't attribute it to any
profession. I would think that most people don't really realize when
they have come into contact with a social worker. The connotation is
that they are all beleagured, overworked, underpaid government
workers steeped in bureaucracy and protocols per TV and movies. The
truth is social workers exist in some fashion in about all fields.
There are the social workers who work with the school system,
designing programs to help children learn. In the business world, EAP
counselors assist workers with all sorts of issues. There is even a
bit of social work in practically every facet of our everyday lives.
Aren't some of the the most prevailing assets and talents of a social
worker empathy and reaching out to people, providing insight? I could
see a social worker in almost any field; they would be very useful
in, say, human resources, matching the 'right' skill set and
'emotional' skills with the 'right' job. Or in marketing, banking,
medical etc.
POSTED 5/22/2003
Serene, Chandler, AZ,
United States, 44, Female, Black/African American, Self-Contractor, 2
Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 513200334355
I used to work in a
department of social services in Virginia, and found all the social
workers who I worked with to be wonderful people - basically
compassionate and caring. None of them were dowdy. Most were quite
attractive and interesting. I think the reason you are not getting
too many responses to your applications is your age. I'm sure you are
not listing your DOB, but a prospective employer will be able to tell
you are older because of the graduation dates you list, or just due
to the length of experience. It's tough to switch careers at this
age. I changed my career in my 40s, and it took me a long time to
land a decent job. Hang in there. Persistence will pay off.
POSTED 5/22/2003
Annie, Lawrenceville,
GA, United States, 51, Female, Christian, White/Caucasian, Straight,
copy editor, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
5132003125028
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Question:
Why do a large number of Asians of non-Indian and non-Arabic
origins have minimal body hair? Also, do Asian women of these origins
shave their legs?
POSTED 5/22/2003
Kristina, Washington, DC, United States, 22, Female, Christian,
Black/African American, Transciber, 2 Years of College, Middle class,
Mesg ID 516200341144
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Question:
Why is it that so many whites love black comedians like Eddie
Murphy and Dave Chapelle, despite the fact that much of their
stand-up routines addresse how racist whites are to blacks?
POSTED 5/22/2003
Jarrett, Chicago, IL, United States, 21, Male, Black/African
American, Straight, Student, 4 Years of College, Upper middle class,
Mesg ID 5192003120954
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Question:
Why is it that men seem to hate asking for directions even if
it is very clear they are lost?
POSTED 5/11/2003
Krista H., Lapeer, MI, United States, 28, Female, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, student, Over 4 Years of College, Lower
middle class, Mesg ID 510200330409
Responses:
I believe the reason men don't ask for directions is pride. Men
feel like they have to lead, have everything under control and show
no display of any incompetencies. So they feel as though asking for
help is a blow to their egos. All it is is their male egos.
POSTED 5/19/2003
Moni, Ft. Myers, FL, United States, Female, Mesg ID 514200355743
I may be the gayest man ever, but I'll tell you one thing: I don't
like to ask for directions. For one, it makes me look like I don't
know where I'm going (in my mind, stupid). Also, men like being in
charge of situations, and to ask someone for help is a sign of
weakness. That's why whenever I go to a city that is unfamiliar to
me, I always make sure I have the most detailed map possible. Always
have a current map with you!
POSTED 5/19/2003
Bill, Ft. Dodge, IA, United States, 30, Male, Atheist,
White/Caucasian, Gay, waiter, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class,
Mesg ID 5162003112701
I believe that by asking directions a man is admitting he is not
in control. I know that for many men, not being in control is the
same as saying 'victimize me.' I know that many men are taught by
society that because they are men, they need to be in control. I
think this is the same reason many men resist calling a repair person
to fix a problem that they can't fix. They don't want to admit they
can't fix it.
POSTED 5/19/2003
David, Tokyo, NA, Japan, Male, White/Caucasian, Over 4 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 5182003114011
Long story short: if you have enough time, fuel and a cell phone,
don't be averse to a little exploring. If you are in a developed
country, the likelihood of becoming permanently lost and eaten by
wolves is very low. Here are a few reasons why exploring is a good
idea:
1) Being 'lost' is part of the experience of learning your way
around a new area. If you don't take advantage of the learning
opportunity then you will just get lost the next time you come to the
same place. It is an investment in the future to learn about a new
place. Who knows, you might find something cool.
2) Women seem to assume that any random person at a gas station
will know the area and be able to give good directions. In reality,
many gas station attendants give lousy directions because they never
go anywhere besides the gas station. Pumping gas doesn't make
somebody a cartographer.
3) The more you try to coerce us, the more we will refuse. The
issue of resisting asking for directions may be part of a pattern in
which the man feels that the woman belittles his abilities or
opinions.
POSTED 5/22/2003
Edward, Nashville, TN, United States, 36, Male, Mesg ID
5192003125248
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Question:
What are some common stereotypes about women?
POSTED 5/11/2003
Jennifer, New York, NY, United States, Female, Mesg ID
511200372219
Responses:
The only comments I hear consistently about women are those about
their driving skills (and women who put on makeup while driving don't
help). One of my buddies jokes that whenever he's on the road and
encounters a female with poor driving skills: 'Women drivers...no
survivors.' Personally, I see no difference overall in the way men
and women drive.
POSTED 5/19/2003
T.C., Phoenix, AZ, United States, 35, Male, White/Caucasian, Gay,
Web Developer, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
5192003113210
Generally, or specifically? Here are several: Women are, in
essence, 'the weaker sex,' and for most of these stereotypes, the
opposite applies to men, and is a 'positive' stereotype. Woman is
always the virgin, the slut or succubus. Women who love sex are
'sluts,' men who love sex are normal (although I think this double
standard has gotten less prevalent since the '60s). Girls aren't as
good at math or science, and don't have analytical brains. Women are
weak and ineffective leaders. Women get hysterical. Women are not
career-oriented. All (normal) women must want children, and women who
aren't motherly are ostracized and seen as deviant. (Example: the
birth mother of Michael Jackson's children is always asked why she's
abandoned her children, when in reality, she repeatedly says she was
just the surrogate for him.) Women are dependent, controlling and
demanding of their partners. Women are fickle. All women are obsessed
with their weight. Women talk too much. Women don't speak their mind
(or 'don't have a thought in their heads.') Women lose their minds
when they get their period. Women lie about their age. Women love to
shop. I could go on and on. Some stereotypes have their basis in
fact, but to generalize all women as being such is harmful and
limiting.
POSTED 5/22/2003
Stephanie, Norman, OK, United States, <steph@asteph.com>,
23, Female, White/Caucasian, Lesbian, Student, Over 4 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 5222003123255
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