Best of the Week
of May 28, 2000
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of May 28, 2000, as selected
by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week"
entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s new
database using the search form, or, in the
case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in the
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the new database as
well). In the Original Archives and the new database, you will find
questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer any questions
relevant to your demographic background, as well as to ask any
provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily
meant to represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can
provide a window into the insights of an individual from that
group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
Question:
When Cubans come to the United States, how does it affect their
children? Is there culture shock? What does the parent expect the
school to do to help the child adjust? Are there any dos or don'ts
for school personnel to follow for Cuban children?
POSTED 6/1/2000
Sabrina D., Renton, WA, United States, 42, Female, Lutheran,
White/Caucasian, Straight, ECE student, Upper class, Mesg ID
527200064224
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Question:
To females: Did you have any side-effects when you went on the Pill,
and if so, what were they and how severe were they? I am worried that
I will put on a lot of weight if I go on it.
POSTED 6/1/2000
Netta, Armidale, NA, Australia, 18, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, High School Diploma, Middle
class, Mesg ID 531200025338
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Question:
Why is it that black people often seem to have a look of resentment,
or an angry, belligerent sneer, on their faces, even when no one is
looking at them? Is it a reaction to the racism they are surrounded
by? Or is it just the way their faces look, and white people
misinterpret it? Granted, people of all races can have a sullen look
on their face, as many can have a cheerful look, but why does it seem
that black people make themselves less likeable by looking so
resentful?
POSTED 6/1/2000
Raul F., Denver, CO, United States, 40, Male, Jewish,
White/Caucasian, Bisexual, cataloger, 2 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 528200041037
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Question:
I saw a black woman I know who is a very devout Christian wearing a
cap resembling a Jewish yarmulke. It was a little larger, and made of
white satin. Is this part of perhaps a Baptist sect? I seem to recall
hearing somewhere that women need to cover their heads in church as a
sign of respect, but this instance was at a graduation ceremony. Can
anyone enlighten me as to her religious affiliation and the reason
for this article of clothing? Or perhaps it was just a fashion
statement?
POSTED 6/1/2000
Jessica, Framingham, MA, United States, 21, Female, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, student, 4 Years of College , Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 5292000113841
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Question:
To men: If you were a woman for one day, what would you do or what
would you be most curious about? To women: If you were a man for one
day, what would you do or what would you be most curious about?
POSTED 5/30/2000
P., E-Town, NA, Germany, 20, White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, Mesg
ID 529200072301
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Question:
Why do white people allow their animals to live like human beings in
their homes? I've noticed from homes of whites that I have visited
that they allow the dogs, cats, etc. to climb on the kitchen
counters, sleep in their beds, lick their faces after the dogs have
licked filthy things, and the list goes on. I am not trying to be
disrespectful, I'm just curious. Also, why do white people eat out in
restaurants so much? Do they ever make home-cooked meals?
POSTED 5/30/2000
Carole T., Atlanta, GA, United States, Female, Mesg ID
5302000123913
Responses:
I can't speak for other white people, but this white girl thinks
it's disgusting to let a dog lick your face. I have a dog. He stays
in the back yard, and when I am done playing with him or walking him,
I wash my hands and usually change my clothes. When he was a puppy,
he lived in the house, but was never allowed on the bed or couch. I'm
really uncomfortable in people's houses where the dogs are
everywhere. I always feel smelly when I leave. As for cats, they are
a lot cleaner than dogs, and I allow mine to sleep on the bed or the
couch, but would never let him climb on the kitchen counters. As for
why white people eat in restaurants a lot, I don't know. Maybe it's a
matter of priorities; they don't make time to cook at home.
Personally, we eat at home all the time. I prefer to cook for my
family and friends than to go to a restaurant.
POSTED 5/30/2000
Jacqueline C., San Jose, CA, United States, 26, Female,
White/Caucasian, Engineer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class,
Mesg ID 530200012410
Some pet owners are fastidiously clean. Some have homes that reek
of animal odor (and yes, I'm not too comfortable in these homes,
either.) My pets have always lived somewhere in the middle. My home
is hygienic. The reason animals live, to some degree, like family
members is that they are just that. A dog or cat stays in the family
for five to 20 years. They love unconditionally. There are a lot of
human relationships that are more ephemeral. And technically
speaking, dogs and cats are cleaner in many respects than humans.
POSTED 6/1/2000
Lisa, Los Angeles, CA, United States, 25, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, 4 Years of College, Upper middle class,
Mesg ID 531200043107
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Question:
Why is it that more and more white men are interested in black
women?
POSTED 5/30/2000
Cheron, Coopersville, MI, United States, Female, Christian,
Black/African American, Straight, customer service, 2 Years of
College , Lower middle class, Mesg ID 5292000101101
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Question:
To doctors: Assuming all doctors practice on a wide variety of people
from different ethnic origins, do you find that certain races get
certain/particular illnesses? For example, do you find that white
people tend to get the stomach flu more easily than black people? Or,
do you find that one particular race has a higher rate of cancer than
any other race combined? Also, do you find that any particular race
seems to be healthier above all the rest? And what about
hypochondriacs? Are there any races that are more likely to 'think'
they are sick?
POSTED 5/30/2000
Murray C., Halifax, Nova Scotia, NA, Canada, 31, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Draftsman, Technical School , Middle
class, Mesg ID 5292000120158
I'm not a doctor, but just as an observation I bet that more
well-to-do white people are bigger hypochondriacs. I think when
people don't have to battle every day for the basic necessities
(food, clothing, shelter, security, safety) as well as their civil
rights, they have more time to make/focus on other problems. It's a
luxury to consider your happiness and well-being all the time.
Whether this luxury is necessary or admirable, who's to say? But
being white and rich a wimp does make. And I know. I was raised with
these people. I am one of them. As comedian George Carlin said:
'Anorexia? White rich girls who don't eat? Ah, let 'em die. I've got
bigger problems.'
POSTED 5/31/2000
Lisa, Los Angeles, CA, United States, 25, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Comedy, 4 Years of College , Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 531200044205
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Question:
Why are there so few black contestants on the TV show 'Who Wants To
Be A Millionaire'? I can't see how the program is in the slightest
bit racist - you either know the information or you don't.
Incidentally, I would have no problem with one of every eight
questions (the approximate percentage of the population that is
African American) pertaining to black-oriented subject matter. If
anything, it would make the show more interesting!
POSTED 5/24/2000
Augustine, Columbia, SC, United States, 39, Male, White/Caucasian,
Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 5202000102928
Responses:
I was discussing this with a black friend the other day. He is
highly intelligent, a writer, has a master's degree, et al. His take
on this was that African Americans in general are less likely to
believe they would be treated fairly in such a situation. Ergo, fewer
of them pick up the phone in the first place to get in on game shows,
as they already assume the tables are tipped against them. 'Do you
feel that way?' I asked. He doesn't, but responded: 'I'd never parade
myself around on television that way. I'd rather earn my million.'
Two different takes on the same question, I suppose.
POSTED 5/30/2000
Emma, Los Angeles, CA, United States, Female, Mesg ID
530200021435
Producers rely on demographics to decide what goes on TV. If
audiences want to see lots of black people on TV, then the producers
will put more black people on TV. As of right now, most people prefer
to see mostly white people, so that is what you get.
POSTED 5/30/2000
Jon H., Kitchner, NA, Canada, Female, Mesg ID 526200013908
What are black-oriented questions?
POSTED 5/30/2000
Amy, Charleston, WV, United States, 28, Female, Baptist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Lab Tech, 4 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 524200072640
As a fan of the show, I have noticed the same phenomenon: a dearth
of any group besides white men sitting in the hot seat. Seeing as how
the process for contestant selection is done over the phone, and
indeed is double-blind, there is no way the show's producers can know
someone's race and take that into account. Only the people who answer
the questions correctly are up for consideration. Anyone can get on
as long as they are smart and have a very good short-term memory
bank. I highly doubt that in these sensitive times there is any
motivation on behalf of ABC to consciously discourage blacks from
getting on the show. Perhaps we are witnessing a microcosm of
society, whereby the educated white men dominate the game, while only
a few women and even fewer minorities succeed. In order to get more
women and minorities on the show, ABC could resort to affirmative
action!
POSTED 6/1/2000
Ron, Feldman, NJ, United States, <underpar@selway.umt.edu>, 41,
Male, Jewish, White/Caucasian, Straight, Architect, Over 4 Years of
College , Middle class, Mesg ID 61200031007
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Question:
As a customer service representative, I talk to people from all over
the United States. I have noticed that people from the South tend to
talk at a higher speed than folks from other parts. Why is this?
POSTED 5/25/2000
John P., Tampa Bay, FL, United States, 28, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, High School Diploma, Mesg ID
5252000105543
Responses:
I have noticed this in the South and in southern Appalachia
(which, in the case of West Virginia and Kentucky, is not culturally
Southern but neither is it Northern). Many Southerners tend to
describe things and situations in great detail, and it takes talking
faster to 'get it all in'. There is also a nervousness or
intimidation factor that may come across in something like calling
customer service, feeling the need to 'explain it all' lest a pivotal
detail be lost. I have also found, and this is not peculiarly
Southern, that talking slowly causes the listener's mind to wander
and you lose their attention. I am a relatively slow talker and,
frankly, am offended when my listener uses my pauses and deliberation
in speech as an opportunity to quit listening to me or, worse, to
interrupt me in mid-sentence. Americans do not so much converse as
they carry on simultaneous monologues.
POSTED 5/31/2000
Augustine, Columbia, SC, United States, 39, Male, White/Caucasian,
Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 5272000104042
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Question:
Why is there a need to believe in a God? Is not the God concept
outdated? What's wrong with dependence on oneself?
POSTED 5/24/2000
Romas, Berkeley, CA, United States, 70, Male, Black/African American,
Straight, wholistic consultant, 2 Years of College , Middle class,
Mesg ID 523200032631
Responses:
I would suggest that maybe your concept of God is outdated. As I
have grown, so has my concept of my God. At first, it was decided by
my parents, then I let go of the whole idea of God and religion.
Today, I have a comforting grasp on my God. I will also tell you that
my God is not the one you hear so much about today. To think that God
stopped talking to us 2,000 years ago is unbelievable to me. Be leary
of a belief that limits or defines God too narrowly. God is bigger
than that. With respect to self-reliance, my God would have me put my
trust nowhere else.
POSTED 5/30/2000
Matthew, New York, NY, United States, 42, Male, White/Caucasian, Gay,
actor, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
526200081216
Is the concept of God outdated? From the beginning, God was. The
ancients believed in God. People throughout the ages have believed in
God, whether they would listen to God or not. The Bible says in
Romans 1:20 that 'Ever since God created the world, his invisible
qualities, both his eternal power and his divine nature, have been
clearly seen ... They know God, but they do not give him the honor
that belongs to him... V 25: 'They exchange the truth about God for a
lie.' Romans speaks to the question quite clearly. Many civilizations
in the past have tried to deny God, and have adopted strange
practices that did away with themselves. Self-reliance and dependence
on God are not mutually exclusive. As a parent, I do for my children
what they cannot do for themselves. But I would be amiss to do for
them what they can do themselves. They would not mature. But God does
provide for those who cannot do for themselves. Only in a very
limited sense can we depend on ourselves. Our health, our ability to
work, our desire to work and our opportunity to work are all gifts to
us.
POSTED 5/30/2000
Ronald V., Edmonton, Alberta, NA, Canada, 47, Male, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Mesg ID 529200023732
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Question:
I've heard that women prefer the circumcised penis in general, but
I'd like to know if this is the case for those countries where
circumcision is not as common as it is in the United States or
Australia. I have a friend from France who assures me that she and
almost all her friends have a preference for the circumcised penis,
even if they're a bit more difficult to find over there. This
surprised me a little, as I would have thought preference would have
been mainly a cultural thing. I'd be interested to hear from anyone,
especially those people who may live outside the United States.
POSTED 5/24/2000
Bob, Sydney, NA, Australia, 31, Male, Agnostic, White/Caucasian,
Straight, counselor, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
5202000102655
Responses:
I don't know about it being a cultural thing - maybe it's just
what you've been used to. I can't think of any reason why one would
prefer circumcised, but I suppose that's because I prefer
uncircumcised. Foreskins are fun to play with! Plus I think they
create more friction, and that's always good.
POSTED 5/31/2000
Netta, Armidale, NA, Australia, 18, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, High School Diploma , Middle
class, Mesg ID 529200022055
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