Best of the Week
of June 20, 1999
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges either begun or
advanced during the week of June 20, 1999, as selected by Y?
These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries from
previous weeks, also can be found by accessing our new database using
our search form, or, in the case of
answers posted before April 24, 1999, in our
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the new database as
well). In the Original Archives and the new database, you will find
questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. We encourage you to answer any questions relevant
to your demographic background, as well as to ask any provocative
question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily meant to
represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can provide a
window into the insights of an individual from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at our
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
Question:
My youngest daughter has told me she is bisexual. I have no problem
with this because I love her very much and she is quite an
intelligent young woman who knows her own power. But what exactly
does "bisexual" mean? I know that may sound ignorant on my part, but
I really want to know about her lifestyle.
POSTED 6/22/99
Charlette H., Mt. Washington, KY, United States,
<charlettehines@eudoramail.com> , Female, Wiccan,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Librarian, 2 Years of College, Mesg ID
6219972505
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Question:
I lived in Washington, D.C., for 10 years. Is there such a thing as
"Washington Nice"? I'm referring to overdone, almost unctuous
politeness at a superficial level with nothing underneath it. For
instance, I could be approaching a door and the person nearby,
regardless of race or gender, would almost knock themselves out to
hold it open for me. (And no, I don't resemble anyone highly placed
in politics!) Yet if you would attempt to take the encounter one step
further, such as striking up a conversation, they'd look at you like
you were from another planet. I always kind of felt like "I can
handle my own doors, but a little human warmth would be nice." Has
anyone else noticed this about D.C.? And is this anything like
"Minnesota Nice" or "Mormon Nice" - both of which I've heard of but
not sure I've ever experienced?
POSTED 6/25/99
Augustine, Columbia, SC, United States, 38, Male, White/Caucasian,
Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 6219930415
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Question:
Why does it seem that many black people smell so bad (to me) when
they come out in the sun?
POSTED 6/21/99
Laney C., San Diego, CA, United States, 23, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Bisexual, High School Diploma , Lower class, Mesg ID
6799114529
Responses:
I feel that what you say you smell has nothing to do with whether
the people are black. I am sure you will find many other people from
a variety of backgrounds with the same "smell." Perhaps you have not
been exposed enough. Travel to a different town, city, state or even
country, and perhaps your view of things such as the different smells
people have due to chemical makeup may change. I believe human
hormones called pheromones play a major part in human scent. The only
major difference between blacks as opposed to whites is the amount of
melanin in the skin. Despite that, some people of color have the same
skin color as whites. Not even the white race is monotonous. Please
reevalute your claim that black people have a certain smell when out
in the sun, and try and think about the train of thought you went
through to come to the question. I urge you to reply to me if you
have questions or feedback about my response.
POSTED 6/25/99
Shannon C., Brooklyn, NY, United States, 19, Female, Catholic,
Caribbean/West Indian, Straight, Student, High School Diploma , Lower
class, Mesg ID 62499111908
I had never noticed that B.O. from the sun exposure was
race-specific. Personally, I can stink up a room after a day in the
sun as well, and I'm about as white as wonderbread. Of course, being
white as wonderbread, I come inside a bit sooner because I burn. Take
a good, long snort of the next white person you see who's being
active; no deodorant in the world is going to cover an afternoon of
activity in the sun. I don't think it's racial. I think you may just
notice more becuase you are already noticing the person.
POSTED 6/25/99
Wanda, New York, NY, United States, 27, Female, White/Caucasian,
Middle class, Mesg ID 6219942355
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Question:
What do people think are the worst movies in terms of promoting
stereotypes against their particular group, or giving a false view of
history? Please be specific about why. My own nominees for my
backgrounds: The Alamo and Pocahontas, both for sanitizing history
for an empty (and patently insincere) feel-good message.
POSTED 6/21/99
A.C.C., San Antonio, TX, United States, Male, Mexican and American
Indian, Grad student, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID 689972005
Responses:
Every made-for-TV "Save My Baby" movie shown in the last 10
years. Most males are portrayed as no-good, wife-beating,
children-scaring, money-grubbing, good old boy rapists, or some
combination thereof.
POSTED 6/23/99
Steve, Houston, TX, United States, 38, Male, White/Caucasian,
Engineer, Over 4 Years of College, Mesg ID 6219911910
I agree with you 100 percent that both The Alamo and Pocahontas
are prime examples of Hollywood sanitizing history so Americans can
feel good about it. This is one of my biggest pet-peeves. How The
West Was Won (or "stolen" as I like to refer to the movie) is another
example of Hollywood vs. Reality. Just about anything with John Wayne
in it, for that matter. Still, one thing to remember is that they are
movies, not documentaries. So if we expect historical accuracy, we
will be disappointed. What really makes me upset are the historical
inaccuracies promoted in the schools and history books. The version
of The Alamo I learned in school was almost the same as the movie.
And according to my fourth-grade California history teacher,
California history started in 1849, when Sutter found gold.
POSTED 6/23/99
Lucy H., San Jose, CA, United States, <Lucy357@aol.com> , 24,
Female, Hispanic/Latino, Mechanical Engineer, 4 Years of College,
Mesg ID 6219974302
The John Wayne movie The Alamo was filmed 40 years ago.
Back then, non-whites were not highly regarded. Based upon this, you
could pretty much hate every western from that period. As for
Pocahontas, it is a child's cartoon, not a documentary. Hercules did
not exactly follow classic mythology. Nobody found that too
offensive. Personally, my nominees would be the intellectually
bankrupt Adam Sandler movies.
POSTED 6/24/99
J.D., Arlington, TX, United States, 30, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Data management, 2 Years of College ,
Middle class, Mesg ID 62399111939
One of the worst films that alleges to portray a gay lifestyle
is La Cage Aux Folles, remade even more awfully as The
Birdcage. The dated, twittering insincerity and effeminacy of the
characters alone should have relegated this hackneyed vehicle to the
dustbin. Perhaps it's a more offensive film for the things it doesn't
say, with Hollywood choosing a trite and sentimental remake in
preference to a film that faced up to real gay issues. I know Robin
Williams says he likes gay people and gets involved in their issues,
but this? It would have been better not to bother.
POSTED 6/24/99
Ben S., Hobart, Tasmania, NA, Australia, <bscaro@hotmail.com> ,
30, Male, Catholic, White/Caucasian, Gay, Public servant, Mesg ID
6239971255
It frustrates me very much that many Americans believe movies are
"just entertainment" with no political or ideological implications.
(In fact, the "it's just entertainment" phenomenon is the subject of
my dissertation). Look at how people freaked out when Latino groups
criticized the Taco Bell dog, or when critics have discussed racial
implications of films like The Seige and Star Wars. I
hope Y? Forum will print more questions about the media.
POSTED 6/24/99
Rhiannon, Minneapolis, MN, United States, <rock0048@tc.umn.edu>
, 28, Female, Jewish, White/Caucasian, Mass communications grad
student, Mesg ID 6239972308
I'm actually a Spike Lee fan, but look at his portrayal of Jews,
Italians and other non-black groups: Loud, obnoxious Italians in Do
the Right Thing; violent, racist Italians in Jungle Fever; greedy,
money-hungry Jews in Mo Better Blues. I could go on, but you get the
picture. I agree with you on The Alamo, but as for Pocahontas, I feel
it was a children's movie, and reality isn't that huge an issue. You
want they should show vicious white troops scalping Injuns or passing
them pox-ridden blankets? How about a forced death march or two?
That's great family fun.
POSTED 6/25/99
James, Allentown, PA, United States, Male, White/Caucasian, Over 4
Years of College , Mesg ID 6239930049
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Question:
An old friend of mine says that since she is Jewish and has a tattoo,
she may not be buried in a Jewish cemetery. Does that include the
tattoos given in concentration camps? I never thought to ask, and I
have always wanted to know.
POSTED 6/20/99
Norma W., Norfolk, VA, United States, 32, Female, Methodist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Homemaker, 2 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 61099125930
Responses:
I don't claim to be an authority, but I don't think that's true.
I say that because I know of several concentration camp survivors who
were properly buried in Jewish cemeteries and surely had the usual
Nazi tattoo. It is true that Judaism regards tattoos as a mutilation
of the body, which is forbidden. Perhaps tattooed people are banned
from some cemeteries, but an exception is made for involuntary
tattoos like this. I really don't know.
POSTED 6/21/99
Jesse N., Herzliya, NA, Israel, 40, Male, Jewish, Mesg ID
6219974709
The Old Testament does indeed have a prohibition against making
any "markings" or "cuttings" in one's flesh - which is basically what
a tattoo is. However, only an ultra-orthodox rabbi or funeral home
would raise any objection. As for the blue markings on one's arm,
etc., as made by the Nazis, these are involuntary, not sought or
desired by the bearer, and are therefore exempt from this ruling.
Please remember that most orthodox and reform rabbis would be happy
to help organize a dignified Jewish burial - tattoos or not.
POSTED 6/23/99
Allan, Ottawa, Ontario, NA, Canada, 49, Male, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Audio engineer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 6219954212
To Jesse: If Jews do not believe in mutilation of one's body, then
why do they get circumcised?
POSTED 6/22/99
Michell, Panama City, FL, United States, Female, Atheist,
White/Caucasian, Middle class, Mesg ID 62199100204
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Question:
As I was driving the other day, I came across a "Know Jesus, Know
Peace" bumper sticker, and it dawned on me that, despite 12 years of
Catholic education, I don't understand the whole "Love Jesus" thing.
My relationship is with God, and I don't even think I've thought a
whole lot about Jesus, other than that he was regarded as the Son of
God. When I pray, I talk to God, not Jesus. What am I missing about
the Jesus phenomenon? Perhaps this isn't something that can be
answered, but it is something I am wondering about.
POSTED 6/20/99
Lisa, Richmond, VA, United States, 38, Female, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Financial Services, 4 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 61799102538
Responses:
Jesus is the doorway into God's Kingdom, and once you're there,
all aspects and fruits of the Kingdom of God will be yours, including
peace. If you are walking with God, I believe you should be a
reflection of Christ, doing all He did (John 10:10). He is our
teacher, and we should follow in his footsteps, not just the 12. If
we live up to this, our blessings will be abundant. Hence: "Know
Jesus, know peace."
POSTED 6/21/99
Matt, Beaumont, CA, United States, Male, Mesg ID 62199124103
I will start by saying "Know God, Know Peace." As a Muslim, I do
not think you need anyone to take you to God, and as you said
yourself, you talk to God and not to Jesus. So I do not think you are
missing a lot about what you called the "Jesus phenomenon," except
that all you need to know is that Jesus was a human being who was
chosen by God to be his messenger, not his son.
POSTED 6/23/99
Mohammad, Kalamazoo, MI, United States, <alibaba1969@yahoo.com>
, 30, Male, Muslim, Middle Eastern, Straight, Student, Over 4 Years
of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 62299102049
Your question is a good one, and posed seriously, and I will not
undermine your intentions by giving you a trite, cliched response. If
you will study the four Gospels, you will find what Jesus told His
followers and disciples. Jesus Himself taught that we need to
approach the Father through Him; and that if one had looked on Jesus,
that one had seen the Father as well. The peace spoken of is spirital
peace - the assuredness of salvation and redemption from sin and
death, through Jesus. I bid you God's blessing as you study to
understand. Perhaps a chat with a knowledgable evangelical believer
would give you more insight.
POSTED 6/23/99
Al, Ottawa, Ontario, NA, Canada, 49, Male, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Audio engineer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 6219955312
No offense, but the Richmond diocese is one of the most liberal in
the country, and I'm assuming your religious training was a bit
spotty as a result of that. I am puzzled, though, that Jesus Christ
as the center of our faith has left you with such questions. In
Catholic theology, Jesus Christ is the Second Person of the Blessed
Trinity, and is God just as are the Father and the Holy Ghost.
Indeed, Catholics believe that the Holy Eucharist (Communion) is the
real Body and Blood of Christ, not just a symbol. There are two very
traditional churches in Richmond (Latin Mass, etc.); I encourage you
to look them up in your phone book and ask the priest the same
question you asked in this forum.
POSTED 6/23/99
Augustine, Columbia, SC, United States, 38, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
6219931545
Jesus is the "earthly" form of God, one of the Trinity (Father,
Son and Holy Spirit). If you believe Jesus is the son of God, in
human form, then you would pray to and know him. It was Jesus who
walked this Earth; Jesus who was the teacher of the disciples; and
Jesus, in human form, who suffered and died for us all. To know Jesus
is to read the written words of Bible. To love Jesus is to accept the
fact that God, the Father, sent him to us because he loved us. He
took him because He loved us and would take on all our sins if we but
believe. To pray to Jesus is to pray to God. They are one and the
same. God the Father, through his son Jesus Christ, through the Holy
Spirit. Sometimes the best teaching can come from reading and
believing.
POSTED 6/23/99
Caddy, Lexington, KY, United States, 40, Female, Christian, College
Administrator, Over 4 Years of College , Upper middle class, Mesg ID
6219944912
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Question:
I teach a college level "cultural awarness" course. I am wondering:
What is the prefered term to use in class when referring to the
Hispanic/Latino/Mexican-American population? As an Anglo, I tend to
go in and out of these terms depending on the context of the
discussion, but I would really like to know which term people within
these cultural groups would choose, and more importantly for me,
why.
POSTED 6/20/99
Sandra B., Tuscon, AZ, United States, 40, Female, undecided,
White/Caucasian, Straight, College instructor, Over 4 Years of
College , Middle class, Mesg ID 61999115812
Responses:
Hispanic and Latin (or "Latino" in Spanish) to us mean the same
(except to Brazilians; they are Latin but not truly Hispanic).
Hispanic means "of the former Spanish colonies" (Spain equals
Hispania). Latino (in Spanish) means "de Latinoamerica" (in English
"from Latinamerica"). Chicano is a term used solely for
Mexican-Americans, originated in the Mexican communities of Chicago.
My advice is to use "Latin" (in English, without the "o"), which
includes all people born in or of ascendants from México to
Argentina, and avoid separating Mexicans from the rest of Latin
America by using a term just for them. And above all, remember that
Latin/Hispanic is a culture, not a race or skin color.
POSTED 6/23/99
Nelson A., Caracas, NA, Venezuela, 29, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian (but very Hispanic/Latino), Lawyer/Business, Over 4
Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 62199112657
There are many people who are very sensitive about how their
ethnic group is labeled, esspecially by someone not of the same
ethnic group. And to make things more complicated, everyone seems to
have his or her own opinion as to how their ethnic group should be
labeled. I identify myself as Chicana because I am of Mexican
descent, but my family has been in California for generations. But if
someone refers to me as Mexican, Latina, Hispanic or
Mexican-American, I don't mind. Still, that said, here is the
break-down of terms, as far as I know:
1) Chicano: Born in the United States, usually of Mexican descent,
but other Latin American countries are also included.
2) Mexican: Born in Mexico.
3) Latino or Hispanic: Born anywhere, currently residing anywhere,
but of Latin American descent.
4) Mexican-American: Born in the United States, family originally
from Mexico.
Hopefully this helps. Thank you for being sensitive to the
feelings and needs of other people. I wish more people were like
that.
POSTED 6/23/99
Lucy H., San Jose, CA, United States, <Lucy357@aol.com> , 24,
Female, Hispanic/Latino, Mechanical Engineer, 4 Years of College ,
Middle class, Mesg ID 6219975705
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