Best of the Week
of July 9, 2000
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of July 9, 2000, as selected
by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week"
entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s new
database using the search form, or, in the
case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in the
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the new database as
well). In the Original Archives and the new database, you will find
questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer any questions
relevant to your demographic background, as well as to ask any
provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily
meant to represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can
provide a window into the insights of an individual from that
group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
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Question:
How do other big women handle nasty comments made about their weight
in public? I have had men (and it has always been men) call out 'fat
bitch' to me on the street, and other nasty, crude comments. Most
people's advice is 'just ignore it, just don't let it bother you.'
That's easy to say when you're not the one who gets called a 'fat
bitch' in public. And to men who do this sort of thing, do you have
any understanding of how humiliating and hurtful being treated like
this is?
POSTED 7/14/2000
Jenny, Wellington, NA, New Zealand, 35, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Librarian, Technical School, Lower middle
class, Mesg ID 7122000122057
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Question:
Why does it seem that many white people don't understand that blacks
in America are the only race of people who were stripped of religion,
culture and heritage? Or that we were forced into adopting their way
of living? Or how frustrating it is to not know our ancestory and
where in Africa we come from? White people can trace their geneology,
but when blacks try, the furthest we ever get back to is the
slaveship. Can a white person explain to me why he or she may never
have thought, "Maybe this is why blacks in America have so much hate
inside"?
POSTED 7/14/2000
MIke A., Brooklyn, NY, United States, 25, Male, Black/African
American, Straight, college student, 4 Years of College , Lower
middle class, Mesg ID 7122000115632
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Question:
If God played poker, who would win in a game between God or the
Devil? Why?
POSTED 7/10/2000
Patrick W., Toronto, Ontario, NA, Canada, 19, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Research Assistant, High School Diploma ,
Upper middle class, Mesg ID 7102000113253
Responses:
I'm not sure I understand your question. Do you mean: does God
have control over vices? I am an agnostic as well, so I won't try to
answer the question.
POSTED 7/11/2000
Priscilla, Sydney, NA, Australia, 23, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Bisexual, 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
711200072916
First, John 4:24 states that, 'God is a Spirit...'. The Bible also
refers to God as 'holy,' so please don't reduce Him to man's
standards. Second, God is also omnipotent (all powerful) and has
control over every aspect of the universe, including the devil. This
means that the devil can do only what God permits him to do. In the
book of Job, God allowed the devil to disrupt Job's life. In the end,
it was meant to show the devil that Job feared and loved God above
all else: his family, his possessions, his friends, and even his
life.
POSTED 7/12/2000
Redeemed 1, Newport News, VA, United States, 52, Female, Baptist,
Straight, 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
7122000104308
God would win, because he, she, it, is God, omnicient and
omnipotent.
POSTED 7/12/2000
Karsten F., Gretna, LA, United States, Mesg ID 712200030748
To Priscilla: What I meant to ask was whether you thought that
God, by playing honestly and given his 'character,' would win against
the Devil, who would attempt to win by any means at his disposal.
Essentially, I am pitting two opponents of diametrically opposite
moral alignments in a game of poker, and then asking you to determine
who would win, Good or Evil. God's supposed omnipotence is not to be
a factor.
POSTED 7/12/2000
Patrick W., Toronto, Ontario, NA, Canada, 19, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, High School Diploma , Upper middle class,
Mesg ID 712200093700
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Question:
Every time my sister and I have a fight, she calls me a pine needle
because I am skinny. It hurts my feelings when she says that, so I
call her fat. I get in trouble for that, but no one yells at her. So
how can I get her to stop saying I'm as skinny as a pine needle?
POSTED 7/10/2000
Kay, Bridgewater, MA, United States, 13, Female, no religion,
White/Caucasian, Straight, none, student, Less than High School
Diploma, Mesg ID 7102000113915
Responses:
In our society, being thin is considered attractive, whereas
being fat is not. So when your sister calls you a pine needle, it is
not considered as much of an insult as when you call her fat. This
does not mean it is OK for her to insult you or that it doesn't hurt
when she does, but it might explain why you get in trouble and she
doesn't. I think the best thing for you to do is sit down with your
sister and parents - when you are not fighting - and talk about it.
Tell them how it makes you feel when your sister calls you a pine
needle, and when you get in trouble for throwing insuLts and she
doesn't. If you approach the situation calmly and rationally, you
will probably get some good results. It's natural to fight with your
sister, but keep in mind that she is probably the person most likely
to stick by you throughout your life.
POSTED 7/10/2000
Lucy H., San Jose, CA, United States, 25, Female, Hispanic/Latino,
Engineer, 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 710200024354
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Question:
I notice that in the school where I work, many of the female students
make a sort of sucking/smacking sound with their lips, out of the
side of the mouth, while turning their head and rolling their eyes,
when they're told or encounter something they don't like. It's sort
of a variation of 'tut-tut,' but much more expressive. I wonder if
anybody knows how this originated or if it means or reflects anything
specific, and why it's just the girls who do it.
POSTED 7/10/2000
Jeremy, Columbus, OH, United States, 26, Male, White/Caucasian,
Straight, student, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
710200034006
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Question:
I have a black friend who says he thinks the oddest "white folks"
food is peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches. Are there any other odd
foods black people find especially associated with white people?
POSTED 7/7/2000
George G., Los Angeles, CA, United States, 68, Male, Atheist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, likes peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches,
Writer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
76200044618
Responses:
I always thought peanut butter and banana sandwiches were a black
or Southern food. I'm African-American, and I loved the ones my
mother from Mississippi would make when I was growing up. Raw oysters
- now THAT'S an odd white folks food.
POSTED 7/8/2000
Barb, Atlanta, GA, United States, Female, Black/African American,
Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 772000103308
I'm originally from New Jersey (by the shore) and I love raw
oysters. I must admit, it is an acquired taste. If you can get past
the gritty, slimy taste, they're actually pretty good.
POSTED 7/10/2000
John A., Charlotte, NC, United States, <bigsicky@msn.com>, 29,
Male, Baptist, Black/African American, Straight, Office Asst., Over 4
Years of College , Lower middle class, Mesg ID 7102000111100
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Question:
I have a few gay friends who sometimes joke about "twinks." What does
this term refer to?
POSTED 7/7/2000
Nina, Albany, NY, United States, 22, Female, Atheist, student, 2
Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 76200091202
Responses:
A 'twink' is someone young. Perhaps the joke was about an older
person trying to look/act ridiculously young? Or about an older
person who 'acts like a twink' but should demonstrate more
maturity?
POSTED 7/10/2000
Paul, San Antonio, TX, United States, Male, Mesg ID 710200025549
"Twinks" or "Twinkies" is an affection gay term for very young,
cute guys.
POSTED 7/11/2000
Roger D., New York City, NY, United States, Male, Pagan,
White/Caucasian, Gay, Graphic Designer, Over 4 Years of College, Mesg
ID 710200064005
Twinks, or twinkies, refer to the teenage gay guys. "Chicken" is a
common term for them, also. Some see it as derogatory, and it can be
used that way, but the group I hang with includes us old 'queens' and
lots of 'twinks,' and we all use the terms with a sense of humor.
POSTED 7/11/2000
Mark B., Dallas, TX, United States, <civic-si@swbell.net>, 39,
Male, Christian, White/Caucasian, Gay, Financial Analyst, 2 Years of
College , Lower middle class, Mesg ID 77200091251
The word 'twink' refers to, at least in my experience, a very
young (think college-age) gay male. Sometimes I've heard this word
used to describe attractive, buff young men (like the VERY young frat
boys you find at the gym), but typically when someone says 'twink,'
it can be read to mean 'body by Nautilus, brains by Mattel' - i.e.
the boy's clueless but otherwise fun to fool around with.
POSTED 7/11/2000
T.C., Phoenix, AZ, United States, <tony_crumpton@hotmail.com>,
32, Male, Agnostic, White/Caucasian, Gay, Web Developer, Over 4 Years
of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 772000120439
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Question:
When white people start doing something black people have always been
doing, why does it then become mainstream, the greatest phenomenon,
etc.? Past example: Elvis. Present: N'Sync, Britany Spears, etc. Why
do white people reward their people more when they do something black
people do?
POSTED 7/7/2000
Dawn, Greenville, NC, United States, 22, Female, Black/African
American, 2 Years of College, Mesg ID 76200095523
Responses:
I will definitely agree that blacks have had a major influence in
singing and dancing, but when you say that white people who do these
'black things' (which I don't believe are necessarily 'black things')
are being rewarded more than black people, I just don't agree. I
think it has more to do with who's raking in the bucks for the record
companies. The fact is that kids (who tend to follow the trends) have
a huge say in the popularity of performance artists. Whatever is the
current trend basically decides their opinions. The whole teen thing
is just the trend now. Keep in mind, though, that there was a time
when Michael Jackson (back when he was black, that is) was on every
teenage girl's wall. And Prince. And New Edition. And Menudo! I don't
think it's a constant of white rewards, but rather a change in
trends. Bubblegum, pop-singing, dancing white kids are the thing
right now. This, too, shall pass.
POSTED 7/11/2000
Danielle, Forked River, NJ, United States, 25, Female,
White/Caucasian, Systems Analyst, Over 4 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 772000100456
I guess it would be the same thing as when men wash the dishes or
do something that ordinarily is looked upon as a 'woman's' job, women
tend to make a big deal about it, thanking them, remarking on how
nice it was. But very rarely do women get the same type of kudos for
doing the same job; it's just expected of them. Perhaps we expect
certain things from different groups of people, and only when someone
different makes a special effort or takes it on do we notice it.
POSTED 7/11/2000
Alicia M., Klamath, CA, United States, 44, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, counselor, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
772000112515
Black people started Rock n' Roll. Little Richard, Fats Domino,
Chuck Berry and even back to the turn of the 19th/20th Century, argue
some historians, the African-American community had full reign of
rock. Back in the 1950s in Memphis, Sun Records was one of the few
recording studios that would allow black people to record their music
and market it to radio stations and record stores. Then Elvis came
along: He was white, yet he sounded black. Now kids didn't have to
secretly listen to black music on the radio behind their parents'
backs: they could freely listen to black music with a white face,
their parents none the wiser. From then on, record companies sought
white performers who sounded black, purely for marketing purposes.
Even today, many white parents would feel more comfortable with their
daughters listening to the sterile sounds of N*Sync and Mariah Carey
(who appears white at first glance) rather than the rough edges of
Mary J. Blige or the blatant innuendo of Sisqo. There's also the
possibility that white faces put them more at ease. Although the
latter two artists are arguably more talented and cutting edge than
the former two, buying tastes and possible misgivings regarding black
artists cause the former two artists' platinum records to far
outnumber those of the latter two. With Eminem, I think Dr. Dre got
wind of the fact that about 80 percent of rap's audience is white
teenagers (when it comes to the mass-marketed stuff) and decided to
tap into it. All he had to do was find someone with more street
credibility than Vanilla Ice who happend to be a really good MC, and
then promote him like crazy. Although virtually all the significant
advances in popular music come from black people (rock, blues, jazz,
reggae, soul, funk, metal [attributed to Hendrix], hip hop, reggae,
ska, R&B, etc.), the record companies seek to market whatever
comes along to the white majority. That is because the biggest
portion of purchasing power lies within the majority's hands.
POSTED 7/11/2000
Dan, Los Angeles area, CA, United States, 21, Male, Pentecostal,
Hispanic/Latino, Student, Lower middle class, Mesg ID
710200025240
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Question:
Why do so many Hispanics display huge Nike logos on the back window
of their cars and trucks? Many also display their last name spelled
out in Gothic letters. I have never seen a car driven by an Anglo
with a big Nike logo or their name on the back window.
POSTED 7/5/2000
Joshua, Albuquerque, NM, United States, Male, Mesg ID 75200035630
Responses:
I haven't seen the Nike logo yet. It might be local to 'Qurque.
They probably just like the aesthetics of it. However, around here,
I've seen countless tricked-out pickup trucks with the Chevrolet
logo, Ford logo, Dodge Ram logo, and countless other decals driven by
a large variety of people. As for the lettering, it's not considered
gothic, but Old English. It just looks cool. It's my favorite font.
If I ever got any words tattooed on me, it would be that font. I
guess it originated with gangs or in prison, but many see it as
highly decorative and strikingly eye-catching. It's also a writing
style commonly used by Lowriders; sometimes you'll see a show trophy
in the rear window with something spelled out in that lettering.
POSTED 7/11/2000
Dan, Los Angeles, CA, United States, 21, Male, Pentecostal,
Hispanic/Latino, Student, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 77200022817
This is quite a common phenomenon where I live as well. In
addition to Hispanics displaying this silliness, it also applies to
Arabics, blacks and the white/black wannabes. In my opinion, it is
all about attention. Minorities are always trying to get attention in
some way or another, whether it be dressing flashy, doing something
flashy to their cars, walking flashy or just being plain loud and
obnoxious. I think it is just a sign of stupidity. Only the stupid
follow, and you can only call these people followers if nothing
else.
POSTED 7/12/2000
Sharon, Troy, MI, United States, 26, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, 2 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
712200084306
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