Best of the Week
of Aug. 12, 2001
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of Aug. 12, 2001, as
selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the
Week" entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing
Y?'s database using the search form, or, in
the case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in the
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the new database as
well). In the Original Archives and the new database, you will find
questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer any questions
relevant to your demographic background, as well as to ask any
provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily
meant to represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can
provide a window into the insights of an individual from that
group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
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Question:
I'm a 17-year-old girl who has never had a boyfriend and has
never even kissed a guy, whereas many girls my age have had numerous
boyfriends (and you can bet they do a lot more then kissing). I don't
think I'm ugly, because when I'm out guys will come up to me all the
time and tell me I'm beautiful. But that's where it stops. Strangers
compliment me all the time, but nobody has ever tried to get to know
me and ask me out. People tell me I have a model's figure, too.
Somebody once told me that perhaps it's because guys view me as
unapproachable. For the guys out there (or girls if you think you
could provide an answer): what makes a girl unapproachable?
POSTED 8/13/2001
Madeline, New York, NY, United States, 17, Female, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Bisexual, theater, 2 Years of College, Middle class,
Mesg ID 812200190556
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Question:
Why don't most lesbians wear make-up?
POSTED 8/10/2001
Miisa, Helsinki, NA, Finland, <>, 22, Female, Atheist,
White/Caucasian, Bisexual, Mesg ID 8102001101644
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Question:
I've heard so many high school-age kids complain about being
harassed and brutalized by jocks. I saw it a bit at my old high
school, though gang members and racist peckerwood types were more of
a problem than football players. I myself never had too much trouble
with them because I've always been a big, scary dude. However, I was
wondering if anyone could share their experiences with jocks. And
does the word 'jock' exclusively refer to those who play high school
athletics, or is it more of a mentality or a clique?
POSTED 5/3/2001
Dan, Los Angeles area, CA, United States, 22, Male,
Pentecostal, Hispanic/Latino, student, 2 Years of College, Lower
middle class, Mesg ID 53200184829
Responses:
I was a 'jock' at high school (in that I played sports/athletics
and mainly hung around with guys who did the same). There was
definitely a clique mentality, and I guess we had little to do with
other groups. However, there was very little bullying - most violence
tended to be directed at other jocks in a 'friendly' way. To counter
another stereotype, the guys I hung out with were a diverse group
(rich and poor, smart and dumb, etc). Not all were great at sports,
though we all played. To a large extent it seemed to be a teen
mentality that we grew out of when we realized there were more
important things in the world than high school sport. Some of my best
friends remain the guys I played rugby, basketball or volleyball with
at school, but the clique has definitely faded. The situation may be
different in the United States; I don't know. I just thought you
might be interested in the views of a kiwi jock.
POSTED 8/13/2001
Dave, Upper Hutt, NA, New Zealand, 31, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Government adviser, Over 4 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 8122001125053
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Question:
Why does it seem that most men prefer long-haired women to
short-haired women?
POSTED 8/7/2001
Ulla, Helsinki, NA, Finland, 17, Female, Lutheran,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, 2 Years of College, Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 86200142059
Responses:
Long hair (on the head) is considered a secondary sex
characteristic. It makes a woman seem more feminine. I don't think
most men have a strong preference, however.
POSTED 8/10/2001
Rick, Springfield, OH, United States, Male, Atheist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class,
Mesg ID 810200160703
Women with long hair tend to signify greater femininity, while
short-haired women tend to signify masculinity. Most women with short
hair tend to be aggressive, in leadership, unsympathetic, etc. Women
with longer hair tend to be gentler, helpers, good listeners. At
least, most of my experience points in this direction.
POSTED 8/10/2001
Ronald V., Edmonton, Alberta, NA, Canada, Male, Mesg ID
8102001114910
I'm guessing because women with short hair might threaten the egos
of men with more Neanderthal world views? I go for long hair myself,
but I also have very long hair, and for whatever reason I've always
been more attracted to straight-haired women than curly. Couldn't
explain it, though.
POSTED 8/10/2001
Carter, Chicago, IL, United States, 29, Male, Mesg ID
8102001115001
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Question:
Why do people stereotype Asian women as sexually active,
exotic, overly feminine and eager to please?
POSTED 8/7/2001
Sue, Dallas, TX, United States, <lily_sus@yahoo.com>,
Female, Mesg ID 86200151327
Responses:
I suspect it's because they know very little about Asian women,
and what they see and hear through the popular media (and probably
wish were true) is that Asian women are submissive to men and
sexually overactive. The image of the Thai bar girl is often
erroneously applied to all Asian women. Having said that, a common
stereotype in my country is that Asian women are quiet, shy, demure
and cliquey. There are quite large numbers of Chinese and Indians
living here, though many have been here for generations. There are
also a lot of Japanese and Korean students and tourists. In New
Zealand, I think the stereotype I described would apply more often,
mainly to Asian women new to the country. I've known a few Asian
women and none fitted the stereotype you describe. I know, however,
that a lot of men think this way and wish it were true!
POSTED 8/13/2001
Dave, Upper Hutt, NA, New Zealand, 31, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Government adviser, Over 4 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 812200110207
The exotic part would apply if the man (or woman) wasn't Asian or
living in a area with a large Asian population. If the person
perpetuating the stereotype was living in Japan, I very much doubt
they would find Japanese women exotic. The stereotype is composed of
many ideas: One part is the historically submissive role Asian women
have been forced into by societies. Some would see that as feminine
and eager to please. Because women did not wield power, they were
expected to learn arts such as flower arranging, which most societies
would categorize as feminine. The sexually active part would relate
to American men's sexual experiences overseas after World War II.
Also, the style with which many Asian prostitutes would appeal to men
over the past few centuries. I'm still not sure what exactly you mean
by 'sexually active.' Aren't women of all races sexually active? I
once heard a joke that Asians are very sexually active or else they
wouldn't have so many people. This joke is factually false, however.
POSTED 8/13/2001
Ethan, Berkeley, CA, United States, 20, Male, Middle class, Mesg
ID 8122001100339
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