Best of theWeek
of Sept. 7, 2003
 

Best of WeekArchivesArchives

Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchangeseither begun or advanced during the week of Sept. 7, 2003, asselected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entriesfrom previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s databaseusing the search form , or, in the case ofposted before April 24, 1999, in the OriginalArchives (all questions from the Original Archives havebeen entered into the database as well). In the Original Archives, aswell as in the database, you will find questions that have receivedanswers, as well as questions still awaiting responses. You areencouraged to answer any questions relevant to your demographicbackground, as well as to ask any provocative question you desire.Answers posted are not necessarily meant to represent the views of anentire demographic group, but can provide a window into the insightsof an individual from that group.
 First-time users should first make a quick stopat Y?'s guidelines pages for asking andanswering questions.

 


Question:

I have talked to my male black friends, and we seem to agreethat most black women are rude. I have met many women of alldifferent races, but it just seems that black women have moreattitude than any other race. Obviously not all black women are thesame, but is it safe to say that a lot are rude? If so, why? My malefriends also comment that black women expect more. They just come outand ask, 'What are you gonna buy me?' Why is that?

POSTED 9/7/2003

Trina, Cleveland, OH, United States, 22, Female, AmericanIndian/White/Hispanic, Straight, Massage Therapist, Middle class,Mesg ID 942003111132

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Question:

I'm a fairlyattractive young woman. I'm intelligent, if shy. But I've had anunusual and embarassing intestinal problem for years. I go aroundsmelling like a bowel movement. It can't be covered up with perfume,and I can't do anything to help it. I've been to three doctors andthey couldn't help me. They just told me to live with it. My hygieneis good. I shower twice a day, wear deodorant and clean clothes andbrush my teeth. In general, I eat healthy. Yet whatever I do, Ialways smell like this. I've tried to keep this problem to myself andgo on about life as normally as possible. I doubt if I told people Iwould get much sympathy. If you knew someone like this, how would youreact? What would you think of them? Men: would you consider dating aperson like this?

POSTED9/2/2003

Kelly, na, NA,United States, 20, Female, Straight, Mesg ID 8272003114047


Responses:
Please don't feel the need to explain yourself to people! You soundlike a wonderful person who needs some good friends. Your situationis not one that begs sympathy; it simply warrants friendlyunderstandling. While one could find an interest in helping researchyour condition, it is also important for people to know you as whoyou are. Don't give up.

POSTED 9/7/2003

D. Louise, Flint, MI, United States, 22, Female, White/Caucasian,direct care management, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class, MesgID 96200320121


Are you certain nothing can be done? If your condition has a name,I'll bet there's information about it on the Internet, along withsome possible treatments (which your doctors may not know about). Iadmit, if I were meeting you for the first time and didn't know aboutyour condition, I would wonder why you smelled that way. Explain yourmedical condition to your co-workers. They may or may not understand,but you will have done all you can do. The decent ones will learn tooverlook the odor and focus on the real you.

POSTED 9/7/2003

E.D., Kansas City, MO, United States, 47, Female, Black/AfricanAmerican, Mesg ID 972003105054

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Question:

Why do women have such a hard time reaching orgasm?

POSTED 9/7/2003

Sally B., Portage la Prairie, NA, Canada,<vanana_banana69@hotmail.com>, 45, Female, Pagan, AmericanIndian, Bisexual, cashier, Less than High School Diploma, Lowerclass, Mesg ID 96200312123

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Question:

Why do some gays (and lesbians) dislike fag hags? With so manybigoted people in the world, I would think they'd like somesympathizers.

POSTED 9/7/2003

Katie M., New York, NY, United States, 28, Female,White/Caucasian, Straight, Upper middle class, Mesg ID97200333400

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Question:

I was told that inthe Russian culture, when a man and women have sexual intercourse,there is a sheet between them because their skin must not touch. Isthis true?

POSTED9/2/2003

Karen F., WestSacramento, CA, United States, 43, Female, Christian,White/Caucasian, Straight, human resources, 2 Years of College,Middle class, Mesg ID 912003111810


Responses:
This is the first I have heard of this. Oddly, this is a persistentbut untrue legend about Jews, i.e. that they make love through a holein a sheet, but this is the first time I have heard it aboutRussians. We can only speculate why it became transferred: Is itbecause for many years the Russians were the 'other' in Americanculture, in the same way that the Jews were in Western culture formany years - although you might have expected it to crop up duringthe Cold War rather than a few years later. Can we expect to hear itabout the Muslims soon?

POSTED 9/7/2003

Campbell M., Glasgow, NA, United Kingdom, 43, Male, Atheist,White/Caucasian, Straight, asperger's syndrome, school crossingpatroller, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID 96200314022


Among Orthodox Jews, it is traditional for the husband and wife tohave sex through a hole in a sheet. The reason is not so that theydon't see or touch one another, but rather so that the sheet willabsorb the blood from her hymen, proving that she is a virgin andalso protecting her husband (to some degree) from contact with theblood. This is only for their first intercourse. Perhaps there's asimilar tradition among Russians.

POSTED 9/7/2003

Jerry S., New Britain, CT, United States, Male, Jewish, Mesg ID97200344516

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Question:

Where did the term 'Indian Giver' orginate?

POSTED 9/7/2003

College Girl, Vermillion, SD, United States, Female, Mesg ID97200333916

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Question:

What do Mormons believe regarding heaven and hell?

POSTED 9/2/2003

G.Gomez, Porterville, CA, United States, Male, Hispanic/Latino(may be any race), Straight, 4 Years of College, Lower middle class,Mesg ID 8272003105424

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Question:

Is it true thatlesbians tend to stay together forever, but gay men only meet forsex?

POSTED9/2/2003

Ratana, SanFrancisco, CA, United States, 24, Male, Buddhist, Asian, Straight,Nurse Student, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID830200310120


Responses:
As a gay man who has had lots of gay and lesbian friends, I can tellyou this is complete nonsense. Lesbians are no more likely to matefor life than anyone else - in my experience, women do tend to formrelationships quickly, but they change their minds quickly, too. Gaymen do tend to have more sex partners than straight men (just becausethey can, considering the relative ease of finding willing partners),but plenty of gay men mate for life (or long periods of time).

POSTED 9/4/2003

James D., Summit, NJ, United States,<james_witted@hotmail.com>, 47, Male, Atheist, White/Caucasian,Gay, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID 93200313440


Lesbians do tend to stay in long-term relationships more than gaymen, but the men do not tend to be as promiscuous as they areportrayed. They also tend to be monogamous in relationships more thanstraight men. As the daughter of a gay man (who's been in amonogamous relationship for 14+ years), I can say that all gay menare not alike in their relations.

POSTED 9/4/2003

Steph, Dallas, TX, United States, 18, Female, Christian,White/Caucasian, Lesbian, Student, High School Diploma, Lower middleclass, Mesg ID 93200321349


People who are in love stay together. People who are horny meetfor sex. Sometimes horny people fall in love and stay together. Itdoesn't matter if you're gay, straight, man or woman. Some people aremonogamous and others aren't, and when two monogomous-minded peoplefind each other, they're more likely to stay together and not foolaround. I think the stereotype comes from the idea that women (allwomen) want to settle down and men (all men) want to have as much sexwith as many people as they can. So, you put two women together andyou double the settle-down stereotype. Likewise, throw two guystogether and you double the it's-just-for-sex stereotype.

POSTED 9/7/2003

Jean, Orange County, CA, United States, 38, Female, Agnostic,White/Caucasian, Lesbian, Computers, 4 Years of College, Middleclass, Mesg ID 94200360016

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Question:

Here's my questionfor women: How hard is it to pee in the woods without changing yoursocks?

POSTED9/2/2003

Matt, n/a, TN,United States, 23, Male, Mesg ID 92200335822


Responses:
LOL! I'd be more concernedabout poison ivy or oak than changing socks. However, it can be done.To an extreme novice to the realm of backwoods camping, it can take awhile to get the hang of it. Find something to hold onto for balance,squat and do what you need to do. Just be sure to clean up afteryourself and KNOW what poison ivy/oak/sumac looks like.

POSTED 9/4/2003

K., Orlando, FL, UnitedStates, 28, Female, White/Caucasian, scientist, 4 Years of College,Middle class, Mesg ID 93200392343


If you're careful, it'sno problem. The problem is trying not to get caught by a bear or aback-packer with your pants down. Luckily, there's a device designedfor us outdoorsy-types that allows us to pee standing up just likeyou guys. It's also very handy for scuzzy port-a-potties and gasstation restrooms. I can't remember the real name, but we call it theWhizzer. It's basically an oblong-shaped funnel that fits over ourgirl-parts, and it has a tube that goes out the front. You just putit in place and pee away, and no worries about your naked ass in thewoods. I haven't perfected writing my name yet, but I'm working onit.

POSTED 9/7/2003

Jean, Orange County,CA, United States, 38, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian, Lesbian,Computers, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID94200360530


I am an outdoor girl,and sometimes you just have to go and there is no toilet around. Ifind it easiest to just put your legs apart, squat down, put yourelbows on your knees and go. It's not that hard. Any woman should beable to go outside! How do you think they did it before toilets orouthouses? I have never gotten my socks or anything else wet goingoutside.

POSTED 9/7/2003

Jamie, FLint, MI,United States, 20, Female, Baptist, White/Caucasian, Straight, 2Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 942003112353


When I'm in a publicrestroom and don't want to sit on the toilet seat, I pull down mypants and squat to pee - and it usually gets all over me! I feel likea big freak because I look like I had a big accident and pissed allover myself, which is basically what I did. So that's a goodquestion...

POSTED 9/7/2003

Dominique, Takoma Park,MD, United States, 17, Female, Straight, High School Diploma, Mesg ID96200310157

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Question:

I've dated manytypes of women and have found them to be as diverse as any snowflake,but the other older I get, the more disgusted I am by the growingmaterialism I'm finding in the women I interact with. Why is this?Why the focus on a man's wallet over his heart and character? And notto be conceited, but even my good looks aren't getting me over asmuch as they use to without the cash.

POSTED9/2/2003

Damon B., Inglewood,CA, United States, 27, Male, Agnostic, Black/African American,Straight, counselor, 4 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID92200324851


Responses:
I don't think women are too materialistic because they are moreindependent and believe in sharing the load. The women you describedwere probably too caught up in themselves, too high-maintenance,spoiled as children, and think the world should kiss their asses. Idon't feel it's right to accuse a woman of being a golddigger justbecause she doesn't want a man who won't get off his butt and pullhis weight of the house income. Females today are fed up with 'littleboys' who constantly mooch by being a couch potato or are chronicallysettling for dead-end jobs, having women buy them clothes, buyingthem cars, staying rent-free, eating up the food - yet get pissed offwhen you demand better and require something of them. Damon, youprobably dated too many stuck-up, prissy behind floosies. Afterawhile you get tired of having to constantly support a grown assperson because they won't demand more of themselves. Yes, there aresome women who have to get their hair done twice a week, nails doneweekly and have to have wear nothing but Baby Phat and Enyce becauseshopping at the mall is like the Salvation Army for mall brats. Womenwant partnership and someone who would be a great provider, just likethey provide for themselves.

POSTED 9/4/2003

Cocoa, Tampa, FL, United States, Mesg ID 94200340235

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