Best of the Week
of Oct. 24, 1999
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of Oct. 24, 1999, as
selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the
Week" entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing our
new database using our search form, or, in
the case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in our
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the new database as
well). In the Original Archives and the new database, you will find
questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. We encourage you to answer any questions relevant
to your demographic background, as well as to ask any provocative
question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily meant to
represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can provide a
window into the insights of an individual from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at our
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
Question:
I believe it a custom of Jewish origin to set an extra place at the
table so there is a place for Elijah to sit and eat, should he come.
My general understanding is that it is a custom having to do with
hospitality, but I would like to know more. Can anyone help?
POSTED 10/25/1999
David G., Snowflake, AZ, United States, Male, Unitarian Universalist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Learning Disability, diabetes, others as
well, Minister, Over 4 Years of College, Mesg ID 1022199951312
Responses:
The customs vary somewhat, but generally it is accepted that
Elijah's spirit will visit at every Pesah (Passover) seder. For me,
the custom I follow is to leave a door open for him to come. Others
may set an extra place setting, but I'm not specifically aware of
it.
POSTED 10/27/1999
Jesse N., Herzliya, NA, Israel, 40, Male, Jewish, Engineer, 4 Years
of College, Mesg ID 1026199923105
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Question:
What does black people's hair feel like?
POSTED 10/25/1999
C.P., Montreal, Quebec, NA, Canada, 21, Female, Mesg ID
1022199983130
Responses:
These blanket questions gain so few yards in understanding. Not
in a million years would I ask "What does white people's hair feel
like?" (partly because I already know). To answer you directly, it
depends on the particular texture of our hair. I'll tell you about my
household: I wear locks. My hair doesn't have any chemical (relaxer)
in it. I naturally have soft, coily hair that doesn't have much
density. I'm not exactly sure what wool feels like, but I have heard
references that black hair has a woolly feel. I suspect my hair is a
cross between this and a little coarser than cotton balls. My locks
are uniform in shape and size. Many have commented that my locks
'feel' softer than they 'look.' My oldest daughter has a perm
(straightened hair). She keeps it conditioned fairly well, but she
also puts a lot of heat on it. (I have a typical hip hop kid.) Her
hair is softer than my locks (provided it doesn't have hair spray on
it) and is thicker than mine. Still, she doesn't have what would be
called thick hair (a great number of hair strands from a single hair
folic). My youngest daughter has a head full of thick, dark brown
hair. It has never been chemically treated. When washed, she has
beautiful ringlets all over her head, and it is a tangled mess. Her
hair is oilier than mine and my eldest child's. Her hair has a
natural, wavy pattern. It requires a lot of brushing and needs to be
conditioned well to keep it manageable. I put little oil on it.
Otherwise it holds a lot of dirt and becomes coarser to the touch. My
oldest daughter and I both use a light oil more frequently to keep
our hair properly moisturized, which prevents breakage. Hopes this
helps.
POSTED 10/27/1999
Zawadi, Farmington Hills, MI, United States,
<aquarius9@hotmail.com>, 34, Female, Black/African American,
Publishing, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 1025199954414
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Question:
Why is it that Christian networks/shows feature people with really
big hair and lots of make-up and gawdy, over-decorated sets? It makes
me cringe, so I always skip over those channels -probably exactly the
opposite reaction these people want. Do they think that kind of image
will really convert viewers?
POSTED 10/25/1999
Jenna M., Albuquerque, NM, United States, 28, Female, Agnostic, 4
Years of College, Mesg ID 1024199911806
Responses:
The styles you describe are those prevalent in the Southern part
of the country. That part of the country also produces the greatest
number of 'Born-againers,' who are also the people who watch these
shows. I suspect that the folks broadcasting these shows are not
actually trying to convert anyone. What they are doing is raising
funds to perpetuate the TV show, with money left over to pay the
evangelist. Ergo, you are probably not the target audience in the
first place.
POSTED 10/25/1999
PappaJerry, Tampa, FL, United States, 66, Male, White/Caucasian, Over
4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 10251999114850
Did you check how old the shows are? Big hair and lots of makeup
sounds very 1980s. Perhaps the reason the shows are like that is the
era in which they were produced.
POSTED 10/27/1999
T.R., San Jose, CA, United States, 17, Female, Mormon,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, Less than High School
Diploma,Mesg ID 1026199943718
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Question:
Does it not seem that in countries such as France, the level of
intellectual/academic standards seems to be of a higher and better
quality than in countries such as the United States and Great
Britain?
POSTED 10/21/1999
Marilyn H., Boulogne, NA, France, <marilynhubert@goplay.com>,
29, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian, Bisexual, Student, Over 4
Years of College , Lower middle class, Mesg ID 1021199991552
Responses:
My sense is that, while a graduate of an elite secondary school
in France is much better educated than an 18-year-old graduate from
an American high school, French colleges and universities are
woefully inferior to America's better colleges and universities.
Moreover, while France's schools do a good job in some respects, they
do a very poor job at producing innovative thinkers and inventors.
Think about it - when is the last time you heard of a French firm
coming up with cutting-edge technology? And when students from around
the world wish to study engineering or computer science, where do
they go? To France? Hardly. They flock to American colleges. Indeed,
outstanding French science or technology students prefer American
colleges!
POSTED 10/22/1999
Astorian, Austin, TX, United States, 38, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Programmer, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID
1022199923919
One thing distinguishes French education: High school students
learn philosophy - clear thinking outside of ideology. Americans, and
Australians like me, carry lots of ideological baggage, which is
difficult to abandon
POSTED 10/25/1999
Kent, Melbourne, NA, Australia, Male, Episcopalian, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Over 4 Years of College , Upper middle class, Mesg ID
10231999100914
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Question:
I'm doing research on rock and rap music. Do you think these are
negative or positive forces in society? I would appreciate a
response. Please state whether you want your name used. Thanks.
POSTED 10/21/1999
Diviana, Huntsville, AL, United States, 19, Female, Black/African
American, High School Diploma, Mesg ID 10201999105335
Responses:
I'm a 17-year-old and love all different types of music. I don't
feel that any one type can be considered a bad thing. Every different
type of music reaches out to a different audience. Music all has a
message, and it doesn't matter in what way it's presented. Although
there are some negative mssages portrayed in rock and rap music,
there are a lot of positive messages, too. But there is nowhere in
the world where you will find anything existing in only its own
honest form; there will be deviations in every element of life, music
included. The rock and rap music of today is to many teenagers the
silent voice within themselves; so many kids identify so strongly
with some of today's bands and their messages. Who could ever see
this as a bad thing? Although negative messages do exist, they are
all around us in our world. It is not the rock and rap bands that
'poison our minds,' it is not these bands that inspire kids to get
guns and shoot their schoolmates. Rock and rap bands today and their
messages do not influence society, society influnces them. I hope my
input could be of some use to you. You have my permission to use or
publish my name and/or my comments. Good luck in your search.
POSTED 10/25/1999
Cassidy W., Peace River, NA, Canada, <ldwald@telusplanet.net>,
17, Female, Christian, White/Caucasian, Straight, High School
Student, Less than High School Diploma , Upper middle class, Mesg ID
10251999121029
I believe that music is a barometer for what is going on in our
society. People like to blame music for the problems in society -
especially rock and rap music - but I think music reflects what
already exists in society. A person can learn a lot about a specific
time period by listening to the popular music of that time. So I
think that rap and rock are positive aspects of society. Many people
feel otherwise, but I think their feelings stem from a dislike of the
type of music in general or a fear of the societal issues brought out
in the music.
POSTED 10/25/1999
Lucy H., San Jose, CA, United States, 24, Female, Hispanic/Latino,
Engineer, 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
1021199940750
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Question:
What are people's opinions of unmarried women? What is your reaction
to a woman telling you she is unmarried, but a mother? What about
unmarried and childless? Does that opinion change based on age? At
what age is it still OK to be unmarried and female? What about a man
in the same spot? If you were to meet a man who is 35 and unmarried,
would you assume there was something wrong with him?
POSTED 2/10/1999
Apryl P., Oak Park, MI, United States, Female, Black/African
American, Mesg ID 2109910800
Responses:
I'm 39, never married and never had children. I feel I am
basically happy in the single mode. Marriage is not necessary to
fulfill my life. I earned a master's degree, have a good job that I
like, bought a house, have two dogs that I'm passionate about and do
regular volunteer work. A man would be nice, but not essential.
However, I did get upset when my father told me that my uncle asked
if I was gay because I had not found a husband. In my low moments, I,
too, have wondered what is wrong with me. Luckily, those low moments
are few. I haven't thought much one way or the other about unmarried
men. As for never-married women with children - I'm against it. I
think children should have two involved parents. I guess I vent my
maternal instincts by having dogs.
POSTED 10/25/1999
Sue, Wilmington, DE, United States, 39, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
10231999112904
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