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Best of the Week 

Best of Week Archives

Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges either begun or advancedduring the week of Dec. 8, 2002, as selected by Y? These postings, as wellas "Best of the Week" entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessingY?'s database using the search form , or, in the case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in the Original Archives (all questions from the Original Archives have been entered into the database as well).In the Original Archives, as well as in the database, you will find questionsthat have received answers, as well as questions still awaiting responses.You are encouraged to answer any questions relevant to your demographic background,as well as to ask any provocative question you desire. Answers posted arenot necessarily meant to represent the views of an entire demographic group,but can provide a window into the insights of an individual from that group.

 First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s guidelines pages for asking and answering questions.

 The book on Y? is here!

"Why Do White People Smell Like Wet Dogs
When They Come Out Of The Rain?"


Order it here!

 


Question:

Are all grandmothers as caring as the book market with its sweetishthank-you booklets makes them out to be? I opened one the other day and washorrified to find that not even a quarter of the contents applied to my mother'srelation to her grandchild. She certainly doesn't bake or cook or send lettersor parcels, has no interest in her grandchild's friends or games, is impatientwith her stories when visiting, never pampers her but makes her feel unwanted,criticized and a burden, yet eloquently demands respect and authority andis very sulky if this meets with rebellion on behalf of my daughter. I'vejust been reading the rebukes posted at Y? Forum to the grandchild for notlistening to his granny's ramblings. If my mother ever reaches that blessedage of wanting to communicate to my daughter, I would not be surprised shouldshe meet with open disregard and even hostility.
POSTED 12/8/2002
T., Munich, NA, Germany, 33, Female, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 1282002121309

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Question:

1) Do the Scottish tend to be stubborn? I'm of Scottish descent, andwhenever I'm being stubborn, my mom says it's the 'Scottish stubbornness'in me.
2) What percentage of Scotsmen wear kilts? I don't think they all do, but I was wondering.
3) How do Scots feel about becoming a separate country again? How do theyfeel about the English? Do they identify themselves with the clans you seetartans for in all the tourist traps?
POSTED 12/8/2002
Christina, Long Beach, CA, United States, 21, Female, Baptist, White/Caucasian,Straight, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 125200283843

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Question:

I work in a call center in the customer relations department. We receivehundreds of calls a day. I am not lying when I say that 98 percent of thecomplaint calls come from white people. They seem to have nothing betterto do than complain about minor things. They like to carry on as if someonehas been murdered. And if they can't have their way, watch out. Why do whitepeople, the majority being privileged, complain so much?
POSTED 12/8/2002
MarronBella, Anniston, AL, United States, 24, Female, Black/African American,Customer Service, 4 Years of College, Lower class, Mesg ID 125200293240

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Question:

I have been fat essentially all my life, I'm currently size 26. Iyo-yodieted for 20 years, realized I can't keep the weight off, and stoppeddieting.I have had many unpleasant comments about my weight, for example,kids teasingme at school from age 7 to 12, as an adult, men calling out 'fatbitch' atme in the street and making vomit noises, colleagues at work expressingdistasteat what I was eating, and at fat people in general. In my therapygroup I'mdiscussing how I feel about my weight and appearance with others.I wouldlike to hear how people genuinely think and feel about fat peopleand theirappearance. I don't want politically correct and 'nice' replies,I want completelyhonest replies.
POSTED 12/8/2002
Jenny, Wellington,NA, New Zealand, 37, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian,Straight, Librarian,Technical School, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 128200274531

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Question:

For the men out there: Do you get bumped by other men on the street?I live in New York City and find this to be the case. It's very aggressive.Maybe it's because I am short (5'4'). I used to be a woman (I'm transgender)and don't remember being bumped by men back then. It seems like a guy thing.
POSTED 12/8/2002
Jack G., New York, NY, United States, 31, Male, Catholic, White/Caucasian,social worker, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 125200295744

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Question:

I've noticed that a lot of Asian people, especially Japanese men, haveglasses. Is this caused by genetics, or is it an enviromental-related thing?
POSTED 12/8/2002
Lain, Winnipeg, NA, Canada, 23, Male, Middle class, Mesg ID 128200234357

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Question:

Why do Americans feel it's their duty to 'right whatever iswrong' in theworld? I know they claim it's for world peace andprotection, but I thinkin achieving this so-called world peace theyare actually engaging in warafter war and creating problems out ofnothing. I'd like to hear opinionsfrom Americans and those of othercountries.
POSTED 11/17/2002
Noha, Cairo, NA, Egypt, <veela_yo@yahoo.com>, Female, Mesg ID1117200215313


Responses:

Not all Americans agree with everything the United States does. I don'tthink we would care about Iraq and other conflicts in the Mideast if we didnot get the majority of our oil there. Everything comes back to money. Thereare a lot of evil things that have gone on in this world that the UnitedStates has not been involved with. We try to help people in need, but wealso always have our own position in mind. On the other side of the coin,many countries are quick to stick their hands out to America when they needsomething. We just need to find a balance in our foreign policy.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Scott, Chicgao, IL, United States, <jcooley88@aol.com>, 20, Male, White/Caucasian,Construction worker/student, 2 Years of College, Upper middle class, MesgID 1118200295523


We do not get most of our oil from Iraq or the Mideast. Our largest sourceof oil -- more than 50 percent - comes from right here in the United States.We get about 10 percent from Russia, 20 percent from Venezuela and the restfrom the Mideast. A war in Iraq would actually hurt us with regard to oilprices, as an immediate influx of Iraqi oil -- already spoken for by Frenchand Russian oil consortiums -- would drive down the price of the oil beingproduced here. Now ask yourself why the French and Russians have been anobstruction to the current drive to remove Saddam Hussein from power.
POSTED 11/25/2002
Justin, Chicago, IL, United States, Male, Atheist, White/Caucasian, 2 Yearsof College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 1125200293903


I don't think the average citizen feels we need to fix the world's problems.I think they wish the world would take care of itself. I think history wouldshow that when the United States intervenes, it is because other governmentsask for its assistance - i.e. Kuwait. I resent countries that put their handout begging for U.S. aid and then turn around and criticize us for any standwe take. Most citizens would prefer we bring home all our troops from overseas,eliminate all but disaster aid and let the rest of the world fend for itself.But then we would be even more hated than we are now, because we would nolonger be giving away our country.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Kathy, Springfield, IL, United States, 50, Female, White/Caucasian, Medical,Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 1118200254841


Anti-Americanism is very strong in the Middle East. At least you are askingquestions instead of just bashing the United States My theory is that theUnited States has no choice but to get involved with world events. If itdoesn't get involved, then dictatorships and other forms of governments willspread, governments that have no respect for human rights. And no matterwhat the United States does, everybody is going to be pointing their fingerand criticizing it. So the United States might as well spread democracy.And I do think there are some bad people in the U.S. government. But at leastit isn't setting up evil governments or dropping nuclear bombs over majorcities. And the United States does seem to be trying to avoid an all-outwar. President Bush and much of the public seems to support an all-out warthough, complete with as many deaths as it takes. Most people have not learnedanything from World War I or II.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Vince, Preeceville, NA, Canada, <phunky_monkey_17@yahoo.ca>, 18, Male,White/Caucasian, Less than High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID 11192002101904


The actions the rest of the world sees are decided by American politicians,not American citizens. I believe a lot of politicians, regardless of politicalparties, are influenced more by the power of large corporations, money, etc.,than by doing what individual working-class citizens would like. I thinkin some instances, like helping starving children in Third World countries,the United States is just trying to help. But I also think the governmentdoes a lot of other things, like getting in the middle of other countries'civil wars for its own self-interest, and uses the cover of 'righting what'swrong.'
POSTED 11/24/2002
C.S., Denver, CO, United States, 27, Female, White/Caucasian, Engineer, Over4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 11202002121957


We are the largest military force in the world, but the United Statesrarely acts unilaterally. It acts on treaties and responds to the interestsof allies and often the United Nations. We share common ideals and interestswith our allies, and signed treaties after World War II to prevent anythinglike that from happening again. Our country is often perceived as actingindependently when in fact our actions are based on treaty agreements orare at the behest of the UN. I wish we had peace in this world. I wish differencescould always be solved diplomatically. I don't think this will happen though,because there will always be people who have no respect for others, placeno value on life or human dignity and who are ruthless in amassing wealthand power. The United States doesn't usually act unless acts of agressionspill beyond a country's border or unless it has a treaty obligating it todo so. I don't like the fact that my country is often the world 'cop.' Itcosts us money and lives, but what other country has the money or militarystrength? We are a huge country blessed with abundant resources, and sincewe are all immigrants, we have strong ties in many parts of the world. Ourgovernment is not perfect, but it and the American people want to be goodneighbors and do care what the world thinks.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Pat H., Phoenix, AZ, United States, 41, Female, Buddhist, White/Caucasian,Straight, professional, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, MesgID 1120200284149


I'm from Europe but live in New York, and I do feel like it's a littleof both. On the one hand, the United States and other politically stablecountries have everything to gain by the rest of the world being stable -which means that their good lives will not be disrupted in any way - whichI think is perfectly understandable. There are also many whose interestsare more economic, i.e. making sure cheap oil keeps coming, regardless ofwhat kind of regime you're supporting, getting constant supply of cheap labor,agreeable trade regulations etc. On the other hand, many Americans feel sofortunate in life, being that they have food, shelter, stable government,etc., that they feel it's their obligation to help those less fortunate.Life in the West is so good that it's not suprising that those living herewould want others to live similarly. I, for example, would love to see womenfrom Middle-Eastern countries be considered equal to men and have the kindof freedom I have. But, would they really want that? Am I making assumptionsabout what makes people happy? Perhaps yes. But I know how good Western freedomis, and I would really wish that for the rest of the world. You must alsorealize that many wars are, paradoxically, fought to prevent war. If forexample an area is overrun by guerillas, etc., war may ensue to end the fighting,not exacerbate it. The bombing of Afghanistan killed and devastated many,but don't you think it was necessary? What was the alternative? Have theTaliban remain but have a 'peaceful' country? War is an unfortunate necessitywhen facing tyranny.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Julian, New York, NY, United States, Female, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 1121200271658


We get involved with other people's problems in many arenas. However,no one seems to mind when we are the first to show up with financial aid,food, clothes and emergency assistance. Yet when we are the first to showup with soldiers (usually to protect some group we perceive to be victimized)we get all kinds of grief. I disagree with those people saying that the publicdoesn't agree with 'most' government policies, we just don't agree with ALLthe policies, and we are free to change it. That's why we go to the polls:to vote for the politicians who most closely represent our views. No politiciancan make every American happy, but even with all its faults, our system ofgovernment beats all other forms of government out there. But if you don'tbelieve that, you are welcome to get involved and change it. America is agreat country.
POSTED 12/8/2002
Sue, Voorhees, NJ, United States, 45, Female, Catholic, White/Caucasian,Straight, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 1127200272812

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Question:

Living in New York all my life, I've dated all races of women.Why is it thatsome black women, especially dark ones, smell so badduring sex? I am notsaying this to be racist, but in my experience,it's true. In one instance,the black woman I was with smelled sohorribly that I had to stop sex andmake up an excuse so I wouldn'thurt her feelings. Is there any scientificor biological proof tothis? And please be honest. No politically correctanswers. I'm justseeking the truth.
POSTED 11/17/2002
Chris, NewYork,NY, United States, 30, Male, Atheist, Hispanic/Latino(may be any race), Straight,personal trainer, 2 Years of College,Middle class, Mesg ID 1117200224837


Responses:

Maybe you should ask the women you have been with. One experience cannot equate to all black women smelling bad.
POSTED 11/18/2002
Shaka, Toronto, Ontario, NA, Canada, Female, Mesg ID 1118200221219


I highly doubt you have slept with every black woman on earth, so it mightbe the black women you choose to sleep with, rather than the scent of blackwomen in general during sex. Perhaps they are lower class and/or unable toadequately cleanse themselves. As a black woman who bathes thoroughly atleast twice a day (once in the morning and once at night, and on warm dayssometimes more), lotions down and perfumes lightly, I would say I have noidea what you're talking about. I am extremely careful about my hygiene,simply because we live in a dirty world where we come in contact with alltypes of germs, plus I love that just-showered feeling. I have always beentold that even in my natural state I smell fine - even good. I think that'sdue to my overall attention to personal matters. Either way, while a healthyvagina has a scent (by smell I assume you mean vaginal odor), it should notbe nasty smelling on anyone, regardless of race, unless they just aren'tclean.
POSTED 11/18/2002
Olu, San Diego, CA, United States, Female, Christian, Black/African American,Straight, student, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 1118200240038


Maybe the woman you were with smelled because she doesn't wash herself properly.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Black Female, Maryland, MD, United States, Female, Black/African American, Mesg ID 11182002124207


What you experienced with that particular black woman does not hold truefor all black women. I'm a black woman and bathe every day, sometimes twicea day. I wash my hair and clothes. I brush my teeth and tongue. I'm a cleanperson, but apparently the woman you had sex with was not. Maybe she didnot bathe, or if she did, maybe she did not use an anti-perspirant. Maybethe bad smell came from your partner's unwashed hair or bad breath. I believethat when body odor becomes so strong that it isn't controlled by normalhygiene practices, it may be the result of a build-up of toxins in the body.A good herbal detoxification or cleansing tea is an effective way to combatthe problem from the inside. Meanwhile, soaps, washcloths, toothbrushes,toothpaste, mouthwash, anti-perspirants, lotion, aftershave, perfume, talcumpowder, etc. protect people from the outside. Apparently, your lover neededto know more of this.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Bella, Washington, DC, United States, 30, Female, Christian, Straight, administrativeassistant, Technical School, Middle class, Mesg ID 1118200224702


After reviewing your post, I am saddened by it. For one, American blackwomen do not have an offensive odor when they have sex. If you had sex withan American black women and she smelled offensive, then she was not a cleanwoman. It doesn't have to do with the fact that she was black.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Carly, Beverly Hills, CA, United States, 32, Female, Christian, Thai andBlack, Straight, Entertainment Attorney, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middleclass, Mesg ID 1119200244630


You are over-generalizing because of your own racism regarding black women.Instead of forcing your brain to seek a deeper, more common-sense answer,you want to easily link the 'bad smell' with race, especially dark skin.The truth is that there is no woman of a particular race who smells any betteror worse then another. It has to do with hygiene. Some lower-class women(regardless of race) do not care about their hygiene as much, and thus maysmell down there. Since I depend on public transportation, I've seen andsmelled people of all races and both genders who were very offensive. Anotherthing: some women get more 'wet' than others when they are sexually excited.This can sometimes have an 'odor.' And some of these black women may be moreexcited sexually because they think they have something better in the bedroomif their lover is non-black. Instead of being rude to a woman, encourageher to take a bath before sex. In fact, both men and women should do this,or at least wash their main areas. Not only does it eliminate any 'odor,'it's cleaner and healthier for both parties.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Kristina, Washington, DC, United States, 21, Female, Christian, Black/AfricanAmerican, Straight, Transcriber, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID11202002120310


I have heard this before from male friends. One in particular is a bitpromiscuous and has slept with every race imaginable, and he used to saythe same thing: that with some black women, the smell during sex was so badit made him nauseous (even though they smelled good at other times). He foundblack women very attractive, but kind of stopped having sex with them forthis reason. Weird, huh?
POSTED 11/24/2002
Tony, New York, NY, United States, Female, Middle class, Mesg ID 1121200272540


I am a black woman - and I've had the experience of being with extremely unhygienic Hispanic males.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Me, Canton, NY, United States, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 11212002104151


Maybe it's not a black and white thing but a woman thing. I know thatmany women - black, white, Hispanic, Asian, etc. - may have a strong odorduring sex if it's right before their menstrual cycles. So maybe it's nota race thing or tone of color thing, but a woman thing.
POSTED 12/1/2002
Dee, Cleveland, OH, United States, 23, Female, Straight, Customer Service,4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 11272002115931


I think it is unfortunate that you have had those experiences, but I assureyou that it was either a problem with hygiene or a possible infection. Infact, I am a dark-skinned black woman, and my boyfriend is white, and heconstantly goes on about the fact that I have the best smell he has everexperienced. If you are at all interested, you may want to look up vaginitis- you will find that a foul odor during sex is usually an indication of infection.Now, it is true that some women do have stronger smells than others, butthat is simply normal and has nothing to do with race or the percentage ofmelanin in one's skin. But beware, although a strong smell is normal, itshould in no way be 'horrible.'
POSTED 12/1/2002
Michaelle, Queens, NY, United States, 27, Female, Black/African American,Straight, Marketing Manager, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 11272002104012


It all boils down to hygiene. Any woman will smell who does not clean her body properly.
POSTED 12/1/2002
Michelle, Springfield, MA, United States, <Kylie5361@aol.com>, 41,Female, Christian, Black/African American, Straight, Small Business Owner,2 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 1128200211426


I'm a black woman and believe you've been running into the wrong women.I strongly suggest that you tell the next woman - if there's another - thetruth. It's better to speak your mind. Most black women are strong, and wesometimes can handle the truth if said the right way. And if you so happento meet that special girl with a not-so-special scent, you can always goto Victoria's Secret or Bath and Bodyworks and hook her up with some stuffthat smells good to her and to you. Maybe it's just a lot of women out therewho are clueless and don't know the first thing about personal hygiene andhow important it is, especially when they're sexually active. I encourageyou to keep searching, because it's hard to believe all black women, thedarker ones, have foul odors down there. I wish you all the best and hopeyou find better looks and odors next time.
POSTED 12/1/2002
Yvette, Marrieta, GA, United States, 20, Female, Christian, Black/AfricanAmerican, Straight, unemployed, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID1128200273250


Different races' 'natural' smells can be just as different as their skincolor, etc. - just like how a vegetarian's body odor smells different thansomeone who eats lots of meat. Maybe these girls weren't really that dirtybut just didn't smell good to you. I've had completely different opinionsfrom my friends on the smell of the same girl before.
POSTED 12/1/2002
Carl, Richmond, VA, United States, 24, Male, White/Caucasian, Straight, 2Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 1129200214213


Not all black women have a bad odor during sex. I am a black female andam a very hygienic person. I do not smell bad during sex, for the simplereason that I cleanse myself before engaging in intercourse. It all dependson whether you are with a hygienic person or not. If you are dirty on theoutside, it would show in the inside.
POSTED 12/1/2002
Sharron, Norfolk, VA, United States, 26, Female, Black/African American,Straight, student, 2 Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 1130200285858


Maybe it's genetic, but either way, people shouldn't be so offended. It'sfine for black males to ask about why white women smell bad, so maybe it'sall right for Hispanic men to ask why black women smell bad.
POSTED 12/1/2002
Liz, New Orleans, LA, United States, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian, Bisexual,Waitress, 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 1130200290408


I am a white male, 26, who lives in Midtown Atlanta. I have nothing butwarm feelings toward blacks because I have been lucky enough to live in acity that is SO black. I dated a very dark-skinned black girl in college.I thought she smelled wonderful - except 'down south.' Her vagina smelledworse than bad, but you kind of got used to it. No matter if she just bathed,it smelled the same. She discouraged me from going down on her because shewas aware of her smell. I am glad. She was young, and I think she didn'tknow how to really clean that area. I don't know. Any input? I want to dateother black girls so that I know the spectrum.
POSTED 12/8/2002
Sam, Atlanta, GA, United States, Mesg ID 1212002101003


To Steve: I don't know how your message failed to get censored. I'd justlike to say that body odor has nothing to do with race. Melanin does nothave an odor, nor does it affect your breath, sweat, etc. Bacteria causesodor. If a person does not bathe or brush their teeth, they will accumulatebacteria and stink. Plain and simple. I imagine the reason apes would stink(I've never actually smelled an ape) is that they don't have toothbrushesto brush their teeth with or soap to wash with. It's not like they have astink gene or something. By the way, if I counted all the people with badbreath that I've encountered in my life, 95 percent would be white. Do Itake that as a connection? No!
POSTED 12/8/2002
Keisha J., Bronx, NY, United States, Female, Black/African American, College Student, Mesg ID 128200213659

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Question:

Why do the parents of obese children refuse to help the kidsaddressthe emotional and social issues that contribute to theirobesity? Every timeI see a heavy child, I see a spoiled rottenbehavior to go with it. The parentsblame the schools, the doctors,the resturants, the other kids, you name it.Why do parents refuse tohelp kids take responsibility for their own healthby establishingrules for healthy eating (and sticking to them)?
POSTED 11/17/2002
Alma, Kempner, TX, United States, 49, Female, Methodist,White/Caucasian,Lesbian, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID1113200210001


Responses:

It's McDonald's fault - or at least we can say it is and then sue forbillionsof dollars and get lots of money to buy burgers from Burger King.I recentlyheard of a man in New York suing the top three fast-food chainsfor causinghis obesity. The suit was ultimately thrown out of court. I alsoread thatthe parents of several obese New York kids are suing McDonald'sfor causingtheir children to be fat, because these children ate burgers5 out of 7 daysa week for three years. If you ask me, that's not McDonald'sfault. Everyoneknows that burgers, fries and a soft drink are bad for you.The parents ofthese children should be ashamed of themselves for allowingtheir childrento be as gluttonous as they've been, for reinforcing in theirchildren's mindsthe idea that it's not their fault, and for wanting to suethe large corporateconglomorate. We all know the only reason they're doingso is because theywant money.
POSTED 11/24/2002
Jessica, San Diego, CA, United States,24, Female, Christian, White and Arab,Straight, student, lifeguard, swiminstructor, Over 4 Years of College, Middleclass, Mesg ID 11232002112928


While I think that both the fast-food industry and parents are at fault,maybewe should consider the actions of the French division of McDonald's,whichrecently ran ads suggesting that children shouldn't eat at McDonald'smorethan once a week. Maybe if America's citizens and companies acted asresponsiblywe wouldn't have this pandemic of obesity in our nation.
POSTED 11/25/2002
T.C., Phoenix, AZ, United States, 35, Male, White/Caucasian, Gay, Web Developer,Over4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 1125200280555


Many Americans like to believe that weight loss is a simple matter ofwillpower, thereby providing an instant category of people to feel superiorto.By the time many obese kids reach high school, their parents will havealreadyspent thousands on diets, doctors and anything else they think mighthelptheir child become 'normal.' My cousin was overweight from age two andalmostdied twice in doctor-supervised attempts to lose weight - once froma stapledstomach, and once from potassium shortage. Given the overwhelmingevidenceof health damage from obesity, which insurance companies ultimatelypay for,why do you suppose these same companies categorically refuse tocover anythinghaving to do with weight loss?
POSTED 12/8/2002
Mike, Portland, OR, United States, 58, Male, White/Caucasian, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 11252002105258


I believe people have the right to raise their children however theyseefit. What they don't have the right to do is blame everyone and everythingbutthemselves when problems develop and things don't go as planned. Sincethe1960s, this country has cultivated a society of whiners.
POSTED 12/8/2002
Matt, Decatur, AL, United States, 36, Male, White/Caucasian, Straight, TattooArtist,Technical School, Middle class, Mesg ID 1127200275714


I saw on Good Morning America parents and their children who were suingMcDonalds.This was about the dumbest thing I've seen lately. It's not RonaldMcDonald'sfault these children were overweight. I think one of the kidswas 400 pounds.Hello moms, if your kid tips the scale at a couple of hundredpounds, don'tyou notice? I hope the court system throws this out and stopssuch silliness.Many of these moms are too lazy to cook up a decent meal,so they run offto fast foods. One other thing: part of the problem withoverweight childrenis that kids can't run off and play or ride bikes here,there and everywhere,like kids did years ago. Now we are afraid to let themout of our sight becausethey might be grabbed by some sex fiend. So theysit home and watch squareboxes and eat.
POSTED 12/8/2002
Linda, Bridgeport, CT, United States,62, Female, Christian, White/Caucasian,Straight, voice box removed due tocancer, general office, High School Diploma,Middle class, Mesg ID 11272002100425


I'm the parent of a child with a weight problem. I admit that to somedegreeit is my fault. I don't really cook for reasons and issues that mostof thetime find themselves spilling over to my children. However, when Ido cook,my meals are very healthy. Since my children could eat solid foods,I havehad the darnedest time trying to get them to eat vegetables. I'vedone everythingin the book except be my father (they will eat his vegetablesall day long).In my state, making a child sit at the table until they havefinished allof their food is considered a form of child abuse. Trust me,if someone doesn'tlike you, they will call and get immediate action. Youwill get your childrentaken out of your home that same day. Getting themback, in my state, is noteasy. The law doesn't care if it was a false report.So I would say that locationhas something to do with it. However, to stereotypeeach child's health asthe fault of the parents is unfair. My daughter hasgained 80 pounds sinceAugust. I have changed her diet and put her in someafter-school programsthat are exercised based. Yet she is still gainingweight like crazy. Shedoesn't eat a lot. She's been tested for problemswith her thyroid, whichis a little up, but not enough of a concern for thespecialist. But her bloodpressure keeps rising, and they think she may havediabetes. Now I have towatch my daughter suffer because of my DNA - my heritage,mind you. It decidedto skip me and pass to her. I have to live with thatand teach her how toendure people's first impressions. So don't think thatmost children are inthe same category and that the parents are not tryingto find out what's wrong.In some cases, they may be in the testing phase.In that phase, with everypound, you don't know if your child is going tolive another day. You don'tknow what's wrong. Your biggest fear is thatyou won't find out until shehas undergone an autopsy. No parent wants tolose a child because they werein the midst of trying to save them.
POSTED 12/8/2002
Biggs, Ottumwa,IA, United States, <NutSoBig@aol.com>, 29, Female,Christian, Black/AfricanAmerican, Straight, 2 Years of College, Lower class,Mesg ID 1128200245529


To Jessica: I disagree. McDonalds and the rest of the fast-food chainsspendmillions of dollars per year on advertising specifically targeted togettingfamilies into their restaurants and EATING, and they'd like nothingmore thanfor everyone to do just that -- 24/7. They spend zip on educatingthe publicabout the calories, fat, etc., being ingested. It's analogousto the tobaccocompanies pushing cigarettes. It's only recently come outthat the companiesknew full well the extent of nicotine addiction. Yes,parents must take ultimateresponsibility for their families' eating habits,but the fast-food industrymust also carry some of that responsibililty.
POSTED 12/8/2002
Roger D., Brooklyn, NY, United States, 49, Male, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 1129200211537

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