Best of the Week
of Dec. 17, 2000

Best of Week Archives

Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges either begun or advanced during the week of Dec. 17, 2000, as selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s new database using the search form, or, in the case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in the Original Archives (all questions from the Original Archives have been entered into the new database as well). In the Original Archives and the new database, you will find questions that have received answers, as well as questions still awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer any questions relevant to your demographic background, as well as to ask any provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily meant to represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can provide a window into the insights of an individual from that group.

First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s guidelines pages for asking and answering questions.

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Question:

What does it mean when people say someone is "high maintenance"?

POSTED 12/11/2000

D. Williams, Miami, FL, United States, 18, Female, Christian, Black/African American, Straight, High School Diploma , Middle class

Mesg ID 1130200025303


Responses:

It's a term lazy, non-communicative men made up because they don't know and/or don't care how to please a woman. They are only concerned about themselves. When a man mentions the phrase "high-maintenance," I get away from him instantly. Anything valued and worth having, in my book, is high-maintenance.

POSTED 12/19/2000

Anonymous, n/a, FL, United States, 38, Female

Mesg ID 12172000110901

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Question:

I'm a white male raised primarily around whites, but I've seen and interacted with people of many races. I have no hatred or reason to look down on other races, but when I encounter a group of black, Hispanic or Asian men, I feel somewhat inferior. I worry what they think about me, and I assume they don't like me or find me annoying. I can never truly express my sense of humor - this may sound petty, but I feel un-hip, like a joke to them. I am the stupid honky to them. Do black or Asian or Hispanic people notice this behavior in white men? Do any whites feel similar?

POSTED 12/19/2000

Jeff, Edmonton, Alberta, NA, Canada, 18, Male, Atheist, White/Caucasian, Straight, High School Diploma , Middle class

Mesg ID 1217200021203

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Question:

Why do Americans feel so strongly about the right to bear arms? Is the United States not the only country with such a law among the G20?

POSTED 12/19/2000

Walter P., Montreal, Quebec, NA, Canada, 37, Male, Catholic, White/Caucasian, Straight, Engineer, Over 4 Years of College , Upper middle class

Mesg ID 12192000100550

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Question:

What would be the most inoffensive way for a gay male to approach or solicit a straight male in the hope of prospective sex?

POSTED 12/20/1999

James S., Vero Beach, FL, United States, Male

Mesg ID 12199942148


Responses:

If he were truly a straight male, there is NO way to do that without the risk of being offensive. I'm offended you are even considering it. Without knowing a person, it can be taken as quite offensive to solicit sex from anyone. Go to Las Vegas, where you can purchase what you need.

POSTED 12/19/2000

Sheila, West Palm Beach, FL, United States, 50, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian, Lesbian, G/L/B/T Youth Director, Over 4 Years of College

Mesg ID 1221199994654


It's a tough question because, as you know, there are a lot of homophobes out there, and you never know how they will react to you. When that has happened to me, I usually say something like, 'Sorry, I'm straight, but I appreciate the compliment.' Unfortunately, not everyone responds like that. Better to wait somehow to figure out what the story is. Why put yourself at risk because of someone else's sexual hangups? Better safe than sorry.

POSTED 12/19/2000

Andy, Los Angeles, CA, United States, <Moutonxxx@aol.com>, 33, Male, Jewish, White/Caucasian, Straight, 4 Years of College

Mesg ID 1223199922234


Why are you trying to engage in such self-destructive behavior? I have seen several friends and aquaintances play this little game, and in my opinion, it's futile. I don't understand the psychology of why gay men do this (perhaps it's similar to straight men's obsession with lesbians?) If you're looking for non-stereotypical gay guys, trust me, they're out there serving in the police departments and military, just as butch as can be. Leave the straight guys for the women.

POSTED 12/19/2000

S., Fort Worth, TX, United States, 24, Male, Episcopalian, White/Caucasian, Gay, Aviation/Military Police, Technical School , Lower middle class

Mesg ID 12241999122105

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Question:

Why do people say "axed" instead of "asked"? Is this a deliberate changing of the word, or has it just been mispronounced for a really, really long time? Also, what is going on with "hisself" instead of "himself"?

POSTED 12/19/2000

Tina G., Birmingham, MI, United States, <tinag@hfmgv.org>, 24, Female, Atheist, White/Caucasian, Exhibit designer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class

Mesg ID 12182000102733

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Question:

What do people think of women in sports, especially women in 'guy' sports? I ask because I've been getting into hockey lately, and many of my friends are kind of shocked because I'm usually so ladylike, but I've been getting more aggressive now that I've been watching it on TV. And I've been noticing that there aren't many women's leagues in any sport. Why is this? Are women still 'delicate,' as they were thought to be in the early 1900s? Why is it unwomenly to get into guy sports? Is there still gender bias in sports? Which sports?

POSTED 12/19/2000

Kate, Seattle, WA, United States, 13, Female, White/Caucasian, Less than High School Diploma

Mesg ID 1218200064537

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Question:

What is the proper way to raise a child with Down Syndrome? And how do you treat a child with Down Syndrome?

POSTED 12/19/2000

Melissa, Swampscott, MA, United States, 17, Female, White/Caucasian, student, Less than High School Diploma

Mesg ID 1218200091014

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Question:

Why do young people (high school/college-aged) wear sweats and ripped jeans to school? According to some of my professors and my parents, young university students used to dress neatly, girls in skirts and guys in suits, some 30-plus years ago. Why can't people my age do that? Sometimes the clothes students wear around campus disgust me. We should learn how to be proper ladies and gentlemen if we are to succeed in the world.

POSTED 12/14/2000

C.C., Somewhere, NA, Canada, 21, Female, Anglican, Asian, Straight, university student, 2 Years of College , Upper middle class

Mesg ID 1214200031308


Responses:

I would guess that many of us have little or no desire to be 'proper ladies and gentlemen.' This is a different era; it's more acceptable to dress comfortably or even grubbily, and because most of our contact on campus is with friends and peers, why put on airs? I would hate to sit through a college lecture in tight, itchy pantyhose or a starched shirt.

POSTED 12/20/2000

S.R., Austin, TX, United States, 22, Female, Humanist, Straight, Over 4 Years of College

Mesg ID 1215200081521

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