Best of the Week
of Dec. 22, 2002
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of Dec. 22, 2002, as
selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries
from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s database
using the search form , or, in the case
of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in
the Original Archives (all
questions from the Original Archives have been entered into
the database as well). In the Original Archives, as well as in the
database, you will find questions that have received answers, as well
as questions still awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer
any questions relevant to your demographic background, as well as to
ask any provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not
necessarily meant to represent the views of an entire demographic
group, but can provide a window into the insights of an individual
from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop
at Y?'s guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
The book on Y? is
here!
"Why Do White People
Smell Like Wet Dogs
When They Come Out Of The Rain?"
Order it here!
Read the Associated Press story
on "Wet Dogs"
Question:
Do African Americans actually celebrate Kwanzaa? What do you
do?
POSTED 12/22/2002
Jason C., Los Angeles, CA, United States, Male, Christian, Asian,
Gay, Student, 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID
1212200251805
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Question:
Why do Catholics pray to the Virgin Mary when the Bible clearly
states that all power is in Jesus? Mary was merely a vessel God used
to bring forth His Son. Once Christ was crucified, no more is
mentioned about Mary in the Bible. The Bible states that there is one
mediator between God and man, and that's Christ Jesus. I rarely hear
a Catholic speak of Jesus; it's always Mary.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Redeemed One, Newport News, VA, United States, 54, Female,
Black/African American, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg
ID 1220200250959
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Question:
Why do some Chinese men grow their pinkie fingernail long?
POSTED 12/22/2002
Ashley, Temecula, CA, United States, 21, Female, White/Caucasian,
High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID 1222200220503
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Question:
Why do white girls not have butts?
POSTED 12/22/2002
Bunnie, Chattanooga, TN, United States,
<sweetladie838@aol.com>, 15, Female, Christian, Black/African
American, Straight, student, Less than High School Diploma, Middle
class, Mesg ID 129200224603
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Question:
Why do Jews and Catholics usually support Democratic candidates in
elections? It would seem that the Democrats' (particularly the
extremely liberal segment) stand on Israel and abortion respectively
would be totally opposite of what Jews and Catholics believe in.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Kathy, Springfield, IL, United States, 50, Female, White/Caucasian,
Medical, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID
1221200251826
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Question:
Why do white people let their children use profanity toward them?
When I say children, I mean between the ages of 5 to adulthood. I
can't for the life of me understand why you let them do this to you.
Do you not think it's disrespectful? Or do you think it's just a way
of expression?
POSTED 12/22/2002
Bambie, Raleigh, NA, United States, 34, Female, Baptist, Native
American/African American, Straight, Pharmeceuticals, Over 4 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 1221200253417
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Question:
Are all grandmothers as caring as the book market with its
sweetish thank-you booklets makes them out to be? I opened one the
other day and was horrified to find that not even a quarter of the
contents applied to my mother's relation to her grandchild. She
certainly doesn't bake or cook or send letters or parcels, has no
interest in her grandchild's friends or games, is impatient with her
stories when visiting, never pampers her but makes her feel unwanted,
criticized and a burden, yet eloquently demands respect and authority
and is very sulky if this meets with rebellion on behalf of my
daughter. I've just been reading the rebukes posted at Y? Forum to
the grandchild for not listening to his granny's ramblings. If my
mother ever reaches that blessed age of wanting to communicate to my
daughter, I would not be surprised should she meet with open
disregard and even hostility.
POSTED 12/8/2002
T., Munich, NA, Germany, 33, Female, Upper middle class, Mesg ID
1282002121309
Responses:
I was born in Europe, and my grandma was as far removed from the
'sweet granny' ideal as possible. She was grumpy, bad tempered,
miserable and took absolutely no interest in my life as a child other
than to ask if I'd washed the dishes or tell me about how well she
could wash clothes, iron, etc at my age. She also offered me no
insight into life or shared any of her childhood memories with me.
She was equally mean to all her other grandkids (except my brother,
who she made known was her favorite) and now, at 70-plus years old,
she wonders why none of her grandkids visit. It's sad, but I just
don't feel the urge to visit this person who was around a lot but
that I never really knew
POSTED 12/22/2002
Jay, New York, NY, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Over 4
Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 129200250402
I'm the one who posted the message about my great grandmother talking
too much. You described her exactly.
POSTED 12/22/2002
D., St. Louis, MO, United States, 28, Female, Mesg ID
1210200275623
I'm curious: did she treat you like that, too, as your mother? Does
she have other grandchildren she treats this way? In any case,
everyone doesn't like to bake cookies, etc. I suspect there are lots
of mothers out there who didn't really enjoy diapers, crying, potty
training, endless questions and all the other stuff that goes along
with rearing children. They're glad when that phase of their life is
over, and they don't want to repeat it, even a little bit. Some women
find it difficult to accept that they're old enough to be
grandmothers. (I'm 46 and became a grandmother last April. I love my
grandson, but hesitate to tell everyone I'm a grandma.) If my child's
grandmother treated her badly, I wouldn't subject my child to that. I
bet you can find some other 'grandmotherly' person who would love for
you and your daughter to spend time with her.
POSTED 12/22/2002
E.D., Kansas City, MO, United States, 46, Female, Black/African
American, Mesg ID 1211200295849
I think you are not alone. My mother is one who would always remind
us how difficult it was for her to raise us, how she had sacrificed,
as if it wasn't her responsibility, and hence now we have to pay her
back by literally abandoning our own children and spending all our
time with her, pay her the utmost respect and care for her like she
couldn't get out of bed (while she still can). She uses all kinds of
tactics to get money out of us, like complaining that the appliances
she has are getting too old, but once we gave her money to get a new
one, she changed her mind. She also asked my sister (who is divorced
with kids) to give her kids away because it's no use looking after
any kids. She refused to help keep an eye on my kid (a 2-year-old at
the time) while my wife cooked for her. She gets very annoyed when
her grandchildren are around. I guess when we get old, we change.
What changes us? I don't know. I think we just have to be patient
with them. One day, we may become like them. What do I tell my kids?
I'm still looking for that answer.
POSTED 12/22/2002
P, Singapore, NA, Singapore, 36, Male, Asian, Engineer, Over 4 Years
of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 12122002111257
Plenty of grandmothers are unpleasant. It's a fantasy, like
Cinderella. I would really suggest to keep your daughter away from
her grandmother. She doesn't need to feel like she's unwanted when
seeing a family member.
POSTED 12/22/2002
M., Agawam, MA, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Lower middle
class, Mesg ID 12132002100703
Grandmothers differ just as parents and siblings do. I have one
grandmother who baked cookies, remembers birthdays and kept an extra
Raggedy Ann doll at her house for me when I visited. The other
grandmother I barely knew and have no warm memories of. She was not a
nurturing mother (fortunately, her husband was nurturing, because he
reared a fantastic son, who is my dad.) It's not clear how old your
child is, but you might want to start explaining that all people
can't be good at all things. Some people just lack patience with
children. Try to accept her on her terms, and if that's at arm's
length, so be it.
POSTED 12/22/2002
C., Austin, TX, United States, 30ish, Female, Jewish,
White/Caucasian, Straight, attorney, Over 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 1216200250845
My maternal grandma, the one I remember best, was depressed later in
life. She had lost two sons and a husband and was forced to leave her
home and move in with my aunt. She was languishing. She didn't have a
lot of energy to be actively involved in our lives, and for her
circumstances I don't blame her. Everyone has baggage that prevents
them from being the perfect grandmother, mother, daughter, sister,
whatever. Maybe the problem is comparing one's family to a Hallmark
ideal that doesn't exist in the real world.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Hallie, Columbus, OH, United States, 19, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, student, High School Diploma, Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 1222200215919
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Question:
1) Do the Scottish tend to be stubborn? I'm of Scottish
descent, and whenever I'm being stubborn, my mom says it's the
'Scottish stubbornness' in me.
2) What percentage of Scotsmen wear kilts? I don't think they all do,
but I was wondering.
3) How do Scots feel about becoming a separate country again? How do
they feel about the English? Do they identify themselves with the
clans you see tartans for in all the tourist traps?
POSTED 12/8/2002
Christina, Long Beach, CA, United States, 21, Female, Baptist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
125200283843
Responses:
I was born and raised in England around many Scottish people, and
never found them any more stubborn than any other groups.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Brian, London, NA, United Kingdom, Male, White/Caucasian, 2 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 129200250659
1) I've heard of the 'stubborn Scot' stereotype (along with the
violent/drunk/cheap Scot stereotypes), but outside of anecdotal
evidence there's no reason to believe Scots are predisposed to be
stubborn. That's like saying 'Jews are predisposed to be stingy'.
2) Very few Scotsmen wear kilts on a regular basis. The kilt was
invented in the 1700s by an Englishman. It is a modern-invented
tradition associated with Highland Scots. Not all Scots are
Highlanders.
3) Scotland is already a separate country. It belongs to the United
Kingdom.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Hallie, Columbus, OH, United States, 19, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, student, High School Diploma, Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 1222200221114
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Question:
I work in a call center in the customer relations department.
We receive hundreds of calls a day. I am not lying when I say that 98
percent of the complaint calls come from white people. They seem to
have nothing better to do than complain about minor things. They like
to carry on as if someone has been murdered. And if they can't have
their way, watch out. Why do white people, the majority being
privileged, complain so much?
POSTED 12/8/2002
MarronBella, Anniston, AL, United States, 24, Female, Black/African
American, Customer Service, 4 Years of College, Lower class, Mesg ID
125200293240
Responses:
You didn't mention what type of help line you work on, so it's tough
to say why it's mainly white people calling in. But my guess is that
you answered your own question: they're privileged and are not used
to being inconvenienced. I think it's also important to note that you
should never underestimate the number of knuckle-dragging morons out
there clogging the streets, since idiocy is color blind.
POSTED 12/22/2002
K.T., Omaha, NE, United States, Male, White/Caucasian, 4 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 129200232205
I work on a military installation with a broad scope of diverse
cultures. I can tell you from experience that whining is not limited
to whites. From what I have seen, it is an American pastime. What's
so ridiculous is that so many Americans; black or white, think they
should NEVER have to hear the word 'no,' should never be
inconvenienced and should always be accommodated. It's hilarious if
you visit other countries where people survive on so little and are
grateful for what they have. It's a primary reason other countries
call us, 'arrogant Americans.' And it makes it very difficult when
Americans work hard and contribute much, yet get stuck with this
label by so many others.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Alma J., Kempner, TX, United States, 49, Female, Methodist,
White/Caucasian, Lesbian, government employee, 4 Years of College,
Lower middle class, Mesg ID 129200233026
I used to wait tables, and no one complained like African Americans -
even my black friends who waited tables said the same thing. Also, in
college and in all my jobs, African Americans have complained about
more stuff than anyone else. Maybe your help desk provides a service
that predominantly white people use, rather than them being
disproportionately complain-prone.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Ruth, Newark, NY, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Over 4
Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 129200251301
First, why do you say that most white people are privileged? That's a
generalization or perhaps a stereotype. I'm white and am no more more
privileged than my black peers, white peers, Latino peers, etc.
POSTED 12/22/2002
littlesister, Long Beach, CA, United States, 30, Female,
White/Caucasian, retail, Mesg ID 129200284618
I wouldn't consider most white people very privileged, especially in
Alabama, but then again, I don't know exactly who you are dealing
with on your job. One thing I have noticed about people of privilege
is that they do tend to complain about smaller things. I imagine it's
because they are used to a life without as much hassle and are
unaccustomed to small problems. They are also used to people being
available to clean up after them and bear very little responsibility
for the messes they often make. In terms of race, however, I worked
customer service a few years ago and noticed that black people were
actually the most vocal and irritable about mistakes made in their
service on the average. But I did work in an area that was probably
75 percent black on a job that served mostly black people, so it's
likely that the percentages were affected by this a bit.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Seamus, Charlestown, MA, United States, 23, Male, Construction, Lower
class, Mesg ID 12102002104230
I noticed the same thing when I went to a predominantly white
college. It seemed like some students couldn't understand that the
world did not revolve around their own wants and needs. I've also
heard people from other countries say similar things about Americans
in general, and I think it comes down to the privilege you mention.
With privilege comes a sense of entitlement. If you are used to
having things your way, you expect any and everything to be the way
you want it to be. You expect people to accommodate you, even if it
causes a problem for them. If things aren't the way you want them,
you feel you have the right to complain, even if it is something
minor. It also doesn't help that Americans have a 'customer is always
right' mentality. That attitude makes people think that if they
complain and yell enough, they'll get their way.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Johnna, Montgomery, AL, United States, 27, Female, Black/African
American, Mesg ID 12102002110941
I'm a white woman and have worked with the public in a variety of
capacities for most of my working life. My last job was as a cashier
at a major department store in Potomac Mills, Woodbridge, VA. You say
you work in a call center, so respectfully, how can you be so sure of
the race of so many of the callers? Potomac Mills, being so close to
D.C., is a major tourist attraction in northern Virginia. As a
result, I've waited on and worked with people from all over the world
- white, black, Asian, Middle Eastern, Caribbean, etc. - and every
conceivable variation. I've learned through experience that people
generally are pretty much the same toward people waiting on them:
some are courteous, some are just having a hard day themselves and
some are just plain mean. Some deliberately pick fights with the
cashier, etc. just to make trouble for someone who's not in a
position to talk back. Others find things to complain about in hopes
of getting discounts or other special privileges - and I'm sorry to
say this, but it often works. In my experience, store brass rarely
protect their employees from such abuse. They won't give you credit
for the 99 people out of 100 you've pleased. They only chew you out
for the one you couldn't. Having said all that, there are only a
couple of racial or ethnic or age differences I've noticed among the
literally thousands of people I've waited on: 1) Older people are
less likely to shoplift. 2) Customers, whether male or female, tend
to treat male employees with more respect than female employees. 3)
The worst (narrowly defined) customer there is is a white woman who's
never had to work outside the home. And as I said, I'm white myself.
The bottom line is that some people are kind, no matter their
background, and some are jerks. And there's plenty of both kinds in
all ethnic groups. I am now a substitute teacher. I love it, and
handling kids of all ages has been a snap compared to some of the
horrors I have had to wait on.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Roberta, Jackson, TN, United States, 41, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Substitute teacher, 2 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 1211200231058
White people have grown up with the best of everything. We're told
that we deserve the best - that if something is not 'right,' it
should be fixed. So, we complain. On the other hand, (and this is
just a guess) the black community spends so much time and energy just
to trying to get something, anything, that there's no reason to
complain, for they wouldn't get what they wanted anyway. Also, I
think this has a lot to do with self-confidence. Self-confident
whites are who are complaining, whereas so many blacks lack the
self-confidence (thanks to whites) to try to make changes in a
dominant white society.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Colleen, Jacksonville, FL, United States, 20, Female,
White/Caucasian, college student, 2 Years of College, Middle class,
Mesg ID 12122002123614
You're cutting against the stereotype here. When I was working as a
cashier, my fellow workers and I wondered why black people complained
so much. And I've heard the same thing in other places. Maybe people
notice it more when people from another group complain. Maybe almost
everybody who buys your company's products is white. Maybe the place
I worked attracted a bad crowd. I don't know. I never call complaint
lines. I think most white people would be surprised to hear you get
so many calls from white people.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Matt, Sacramento, CA, United States, 25, Male, Atheist,
White/Caucasian, Software Engineer, Over 4 Years of College, Upper
middle class, Mesg ID 12132002125537
Because we think we are the only race that can now be legally
discriminated against. Yes, I know that is the stupidest statement
you have probably heard, but it is true. Many white people seem to
have no idea about what black people go throgh on a daily basis. For
example, in Britain, black men are more likely to be stopped and
searched by the police. Most white people don't even believe that
white privilege exists. I have heard comments along the lines of
'lets hope there are no Aztecs, because they practice human
sacrfice.' The implication being is that if there were, then because
of multiculturalism, human sacrifice would become legal. As someone
who has educated myself about black people's issues, I find that
abhorrent.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Gary, London, NA, United Kingdom, 21, Male, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Web Page designer, Middle class, Mesg ID
12142002125619
I know exactly what you are talking about. After 'their' nine-to-five
jobs, their life is boring and they need to find something to do with
the majority of their boring lives. The next time they call with
nonsense, tell them to 'fix it your damn self'! I bet they will not
call any more!
POSTED 12/22/2002
A True Relator, Atlanta, GA, United States, Straight, 2 Years of
College, Upper class, Mesg ID 1215200270615
They complain in order to get results. Whites do not just accept
whatever is given/done/handed to them the way blacks do. (Yes, these
are sweeping generalizations, but you get the point). A white person
can get a parking ticket and never give up the fight against it. On
the other hand, it just seems as if black people have been
conditioned to accept the okey-doke and just complain among
ourselves. Granted, there are a great many who will fight and get
what they are due. More of us need to do the same.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Latonia, Buffalo, NY, United States, 28, Female, Baptist,
Black/African American, Straight, Student, Over 4 Years of College,
Mesg ID 12172002112259
I can speak from some experience on this, as I was a customer service
representative for a large financial institution for almost four
years. In that time, I answered approximately 140,000 calls. My take
on the white/ black / red / yellow question of 'who complains most'
is this; The people with the most time on their hands did the
complaining. In as much as it is difficult to determine race by
voice, there are occasions that offer some indication with a fair
amount of accuracy. For example, if you heard someone with Locust
Valley lockjaw say 'Lovey, Ask the driver to pick up the Rolls after
my afternoon tea, and have the maid fluff the pillows a little extra
tonight' you probably couldn't get past picturing Thurston Howell III
with his sailor hat and day coat. So to some degree you can guess who
you are speaking with. And based on that, my experience is that the
complaints came from every color, flavor and nationality. In all the
time I was on the phone, I never ended a day feeling that a
particular group of people were any more or less likely to be or act
a particular way. Ignorant and learned minds know not the bounds of
race or gender. MarronBella, I am curious to know what type of
business you answered calls for. Is it a type of Business/Service
where you would be more likely to speak to a particular gender or
race? For example, do you work for Clairol's 'Hair Coloring for White
Chicks' complaint hotline? I'm making a joke, but I am serious in
that the type of business just might have something to do with the
type of calls received.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Dave, Long island, NY, United States, <Bikerace@optonline.net>,
34, Male, White/Caucasian, Straight, Technical Project Manager,
Technical School, Middle class, Mesg ID 1219200254250
Complaining has not been a 'natural' activity here in the UK, to the
point where recently TV consumer programs have been trying to
encourage people to complain when they receive poor service and/or
shoddy goods. Most of the time we just grumble about it among
ourselves, but don't actually do anything about it because it could
be perceived as time-wasting or rude. I would advocate complaining if
it were a genuine issue, as sometimes it's the only way a business
finds out if something is going wrong. Perhaps white America has
taken this on with a little too much enthusiasm, or perhaps there's
some reason why black customers feel they can't or shouldn't make
complaints?
POSTED 12/22/2002
Paul, Gloucester, NA, United Kingdom, Male, White/Caucasian, Mesg ID
1220200295526
How do you know most of your customers are white? Is that information
that is required before your company provides service? As to the
comment that the majority of white people are privileged, I would ask
what you consider privileged. Is it anyone who has a college
education, is it anyone who makes a certain amount of money or is it
anyone who lives in a home they are purchasing? Who determines what
is an acceptable level of privilege? Personally, I feel very blessed
that God has given me the ability to earn everything I have, but I
did earn it. As far as the comment about why we complain about
presumably defective merchandise - you didn't indicate what type of
customer call center you work in so I'm making an assumption -
perhaps it is because having earned the money that was used to
purchase a product, we expect the product to be satisfactory and
expect the service to resolve the problem about which we call.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Kathy, Springfield, IL, United States, 50, Female, White/Caucasian,
Medical, Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID
1221200250657
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Question:
I have been fat essentially all my life, I'm currently size 26.
I yo-yodieted for 20 years, realized I can't keep the weight off, and
stopped dieting.I have had many unpleasant comments about my weight,
for example, kids teasingme at school from age 7 to 12, as an adult,
men calling out 'fat bitch' atme in the street and making vomit
noises, colleagues at work expressing distasteat what I was eating,
and at fat people in general. In my therapy group I'mdiscussing how I
feel about my weight and appearance with others. I wouldlike to hear
how people genuinely think and feel about fat people and
theirappearance. I don't want politically correct and 'nice' replies,
I want completelyhonest replies.
POSTED 12/8/2002
Jenny, Wellington, NA, New Zealand, 37, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian,Straight, Librarian, Technical School, Lower middle
class, Mesg ID 128200274531
Responses:
As the daughter of an obese mother, I can relate to the tauntings you
received - I got them also from classmates for having a 'fat mother.'
However, i also know that my mother didn't eat particularly healthy,
and never exercised - preferring instead to drive everywhere. I, on
the other hand, am not obese, but spend hours every week exercising
(even though I really hate it) just to keep in shape. So, I really
think obese people either A) don't want to be in shape or B) want to
be in shape but don't want to do the work involved. I think it's a
choice.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Jay, New York, NY, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Over 4
Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 129200252930
I think people who make fun of fat people are really just scared of
becoming fat themselves. People like to eat, and it's very easy to
eat too much. I was pretty heavy for most of my life. I know how hard
it is to keep the weight off. Nobody wants to be fat because it's
just not 'desirable.' If people comment, I believe it's sort of a
defense mechanism because they're afraid of someday being fat. As far
as men commenting on the streets: men can be idiots. Sorry guys, but
it's the truth. Men can be very obnoxious. And, yes, I know it's not
all men, but I get comments all the time from men who, ahem, 'like
what they see.' They think it shows their masculinity to comment.
Notice it's usually men who are with other men. It can be very
embarrassing, even though the comments are positive.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Natalie, New York, NY, United States, 19, Female, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, actor, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID
129200270139
I think of a lack of self-discipline, self-respect and self-control.
I think of a drug addict, where the drug is food.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Charles L., Chicago, IL, United States, 41, Male, Asian, programmer,
4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 1210200283622
I understand what you are going through, although even at my highest
weight I was never considered 'obese.' Still, weight has always been
an issue, and unless I'm between a size 3 to 6, I don't feel good
about myself at a higher weight. I could not stand the thought of
being fat, because I was raised to always be pretty and alluring.
Although I had the hour-glass figure, I seemed to always get
compliments on it by both whites and blacks. It wasn't until I was
severely teased in high school about my big hips and thighs that I
started worrying so much about it. And unless I get down to 100
pounds (which may be next to impossible), I may always feel
subconscious. As far as my perception of others who are overweight, I
do not care. I think it's very rude if someone so blatantly points
out another person's downfalls, especially if it's a man making fun
of a woman. However, I will admit that I may think a bit negatively
about an obese person if they dress inappropriately. Sometimes the
way one dresses can cause unwanted attention. And as far as the men,
what are the ages of these people who are calling you a 'fat bitch'?
They would almost have to be young teens or adults, as I would think
older men would be so much more mature than to act in such a
primitive fashion. If my hypothesis is correct, you should realize
that young people are immature in general. They will make fun of you
regardless of what size you are. It is best to ignore these fools and
just move on. Believe me, even if you were a size zero, they would
still find something to tease you about. By the way, just because men
(especially young ones) say or do whatever, it doesn't mean a thing
about whether you are sexually attractive to males in general.
Sometimes you will find the men with the biggest mouth are the main
ones coming home to voluptuous women. But it doesn't matter. I
wouldn't want a man who could only love me for what size I am.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Kristina, Washington, DC, United States, 21, Female, Christian,
Black/African American, Transcriber, 2 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 1211200254651
I think it's disgusting. I'm glad I'm not fat. Some people supposedly
don't have control over it, but I think that is a lame excuse for
lack of will power. Unless you have a massive thyroid problem, which
is still treatable by medicine, there is no excuse.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Dennis, Torrance, CA, United States, <dlewis49@hotmail.com>,
Male, Mesg ID 12122002122915
I'm not the smallest person in the world but maybe I can help you.
People make fun of fat people to make themselves look better. I admit
I have done it before and am not justifying it. As long as you dress
appropriately and don't stuff your face when you eat, you shouldn't
have a problem. I have known many overweight people in my life who
have had no problems with discrimination. Maybe it's something about
your behaviors that draw attention to yourself . Whatever it is, I'm
sure your colleagues will learn to respect you and your
differences.
POSTED 12/22/2002
James S., Speedway, IN, United States,
<bigjames420@hotmail.com>, 18, Male, Christian, Straight,
Target, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID 1218200281152
I don't have any problem with fat people and their appearance. I only
have problems with people who don't take care of themselves or their
appearance.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Assata, Philadelphia, PA, United States, Female, Black/African
American, Lesbian, 2 Years of College, Mesg ID 1218200285713
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Question:
For the men out there: Do you get bumped by other men on the
street? I live in New York City and find this to be the case. It's
very aggressive. Maybe it's because I am short (5'4'). I used to be a
woman (I'm transgender) and don't remember being bumped by men back
then. It seems like a guy thing.
POSTED 12/8/2002
Jack G., New York, NY, United States, 31, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, social worker, Over 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 125200295744
Responses:
It all depends. I am a bigger guy; sometimes I bump, and sometimes I
get bumped, regardless of age, sex and race. It can be an aggressive
or self-centered thing. You being smaller are an easy prey. It may
also be disrespect. Although guys pretend to be dense, they know who
and when they want to give sh*t to someone.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Matthew, New York, NY, United States, 43, Male, Mesg ID
129200290307
I suspect you are putting out over-subservient body language. Men
will not be aggressive to a woman, but a man who is servile is a
target. Most of them are probably unaware they are doing it. As the
song says, 'Walk like a man, talk like a man, my son!'
POSTED 12/22/2002
Ian, B/water, NA, United Kingdom, <yanmcd@hotmail.com>, 34,
Male, Christian, White/Caucasian, Over 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 1292002104242
Yes. Don't complain of this out loud ever again. Welcome to the
undertow of male aggression. I'm assuming as a woman you always saw
fights over these things as stupid male behavior that's easily
avoided. Twelve months from now you'll see things differently.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Justin, Chicago, IL, United States, Male, Atheist, White/Caucasian, 2
Years of College, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 129200261637
No not regularly. I'm 5'4' as well so I don't think that's a factor.
If I were in a big hurry on a busy street, I'm sure I'd be more
aggressive with men than women, though. So I bet that's the phenomena
you're experiencing.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Matt, Sacramento, CA, United States, 25, Male, Atheist,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Software Engineer, Over 4 Years of
College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 1214200242301
I don't think it's intentional, but I would think it's because there
are too many people in such a small space. I can't say that the bumps
I got were intentional, just that the same space was occupied, and
someone had to move.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Leo, Hyattsville, MD, United States, 29, Male, Catholic, bi-racial,
Straight, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 1219200220901
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Question:
I've noticed that a lot of Asian people, especially Japanese
men, have glasses. Is this caused by genetics, or is it an
enviromental-related thing?
POSTED 12/8/2002
Lain, Winnipeg, NA, Canada, 23, Male, Middle class, Mesg ID
128200234357
Responses:
There have been studies done in Hong Kong about why children there
have a greater tendency to wear glasses than those in mainland China.
The answer was simple: school and studies are much more important and
emphasized in Hong Kong than in mainland China. Some kids in China
don't even get to go to school beyond the elementary level, if at
all. Most kids in Hong Kong do go on to finish high school, and
likely beyond that. Schoolwork and academic pressure is equally high,
if not higher in Japan. Spending too much time with books, especially
when you're reading under incorrect lighting, can cause eyesight to
deteriorate.
POSTED 12/22/2002
Cynthia, Toronto, Ontario, NA, Canada, 23, Female, Asian, Straight,
Contact Lens Wearer, Graduate Student, Over 4 Years of College, Upper
middle class, Mesg ID 129200221959
No Responses
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