Dare to Ask: Admit it, kids, you're lonely,
By Phillip Milano
The Florida Times-Union
Many kids my age feel it is impossible to live a comfortable or happy life
without a TV set and probably not without a computer. Why?
Alex, 16, male, Elkins Park, Penn.
I love my computer, but I'd live very happily without it.
Bairn, 15, female, New Zealand
Kids watch TV in between gaming? Not realizing that, we took this matter to
former pro gamer Chris Lemley, now president of Team Pandemic (hardcore gamers).
Chris broke it down for us:
So, why did you have a rotten childhood?
My parents strongly supported my hobbies. I don't think I could have had it
much better. I played every sport imaginable. It's that competitive drive that
often leads players into "pro gaming" in the first place; you'll find that
almost all of us were athletes in some form throughout our youth.
Can you walk when you're so morbidly obese?
Let's skip the walk and grab a cart instead. I'd be more than happy to take
your money on the golf course.
How do you handle your Vitamin D Deficiency Syndrome?
Why go outside when you can get a perfectly good monitor tan? Going outside
would lead to seeing the world, and that's something we just don't do. (Note:
Team Pandemic has competed in almost a dozen countries and won championships on
Is it bad being a loner with no girlfriend?
Oh man, one of our girl gamers has it rough. She does "Guitar Hero" promos
and has been on stage with Gene Simmons (Kiss), Slash (Guns N' Roses) and even
the ultimate rock star, Bill Gates himself. She gets hundreds of friend requests
a week, and you know they're all from gamer guys.
How often do you cry or stomp your headset when your character dies?
I better not see anyone stomp on a headset. Our sponsors wouldn't want us
treating their product that way. (Team Pandemic has partnered with a number of
Fortune 500 companies to promote their products and services, including Dell,
Intel and Plantronics. The latter has been the team's exclusive headset provider
Do you shave and bathe weekly, or monthly?
I'd say our gamers tend to do it monthly, or at least when it's time to go to
the bank. They have to cash the checks from all their winnings. (Team Pandemic
has collectively earned more than $500,000 since its inception.)
When did you realize you were so violent?
I found online gaming at age 9 - you know, when I was "living on the
streets." Seriously though, I fell in love immediately.
Adult diapers, or bedpan?
Real or animated porn?
C'mon, have you ever seen Lara Croft? Even Angelina Jolie couldn't do her
justice in the movie.
You're really a 13-year-old Korean boy, aren't you?
If I was, I'd be playing Starcraft and making serious dough.
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