DARE TO ASK: Women see horses as 'big dolls'

By PHILLIP MILANO, The Times-Union

Question

I am a man who loves horses. Yet it seems that more than 80 percent of the people involved in horsemanship are women (mainly teenage girls). Why?

Robert, 34, Birmingham

Replies

Horse-loving women ponder this, too. You'd think men interested in meeting women would gravitate to horses, but instead they seem to prefer NASCAR. I do think horses represent a fantasy that can be made real - the special friendship, the freedom of riding and the camaraderie of other women who like being around horses, too.

Anne M., Albuquerque, N.M.

Maybe there's just something about having something so large and muscular between your legs that we mortal men could never match (sigh).

Mike, Richmond, Va.

I call it "the big doll" theory: Before you go riding, you have to groom the horse and clean his hooves, etc. Then you dress him up in his saddle, blanket and bridle and all. It's like playing Barbies on a very large scale.

P.J., California

Women seldom get the experience of moving fast and having 1,000 pounds of steel-shod muscle under the command of their slightest shift in weight. It makes us feel free and graceful. You thought it was going to be some kinky sex thing, didn't you?

Elaine C., Columbus, Ohio

I get no enjoyment out of grooming, and I've never decorated my mount's mane. I've also never gotten pleasure from the movement between my legs. The only possible explanation I can think of is that many books, dolls and toys for preteen girls feature horses.

Emily, 14, Memphis, Tenn.

Expert says

A horse is a horse . . . of course, of course!

Really, writer Vicky Moon of horse mecca Middleburg, Va., says, there's nothing hot about riding a giant, hoofed mammal.

"When all you're thinking about is 'Please, dear God, let me stay on,' you're not thinking about anything sensual," said Moon, author of A Sunday Horse and The Private Passion of Jackie Kennedy Onassis: Portrait of A Rider.

And while lots of young girls are into horses, at the highest levels of equestrianism - the Olympics, horse-jumping, horse-racing, polo - it's men who still dominate, she said. But about that gender disparity at the lower levels: Moon likes the "control" and "doll" theories.

"Horses are big, friendly and easily intimidated. Here you are a little girl, and it gives you confidence to take care of, ride and control a big horse," she said.

"As far as it being like a big doll, it's true. It's a nurturing thing. You have it from a little age. To this day I love to give horses a bath. It's very caring."

Shrewd fathers who steer their young sons toward baseball or football should consider horsemanship, she added. Polo players can make tens of thousands of dollars a week.

And yes, it's a good way to rub shoulders with women.

"My son loved it for that reason: to meet girls. It's a chick-magnet thing."

Phillip Milano, author of I Can't Believe You Asked That! (Perigee), moderates cross-cultural dialogue at Y? The National Forum on People's Differences. Visit www.yforum.com to submit questions and answers.