Dare to Ask: How do really obese people get that way?

By Phillip Milano

Question

How do really obese people get that way? Isn't there a point where one realizes how fat they are?

Kari, 28, Philadelphia

Replies

The same way J.Lo got her butt and my brother got blue eyes: genetics.

Aysha, 27, Ammon, Idaho

With dieting, if your metabolism slows, you can eat a salad and gain weight or a tub of ice cream and gain weight, so why not just eat whatever tastes better?

Leann, 28, Hobart, Ind.

I was married to a very abusive man who accused me of having an affair with every man who said hello to me in public. I packed on over 100 pounds and realized I did it to make myself more unappealing to outsiders.

Rachel, 36, Canada

I'm 5 feet 6 inches and weigh 260 pounds. I used to work out with weights, play tennis and exercise. I injured my back. I'm not blaming my weight on a medical condition, but it did contribute. I continued to eat the same amount, but being sedentary, I gained weight very fast.

Jeanne, 41, Aiken, S.C.

DNA and metabolism has a lot to do with it. I weighed 170 in high school and for my height and build, that would be ideal for now, but because I believed society's crap about fat women, I have lost and gained numerous times and am now unhealthy.

D., 51, female, Fort Worth

I don't think fat people think they aren't fat. Thankfully, my tall, thin boyfriend disagrees with today's standard of ... heroin-chic as the look to be attained.

Sara, 27, Scranton, Penn.

In my case it makes no rational sense.

K., Dallas

Expert says

Very large? You're still in charge ... of what got you so large.

That's almost always the case, said Robert A. Rosati, director of the Rice Diet Program and associate professor emeritus of medicine at Duke University.

Massive weight gain rarely arises from thyroid or other physical problems, said Rosati, whose clinic is in Durham, N.C., known to some as the Diet Capital of the World and others as "Fat City" or "The Lourdes of Lard."

"It's habit. While you should say, 'I know better than to do this, I could get diabetes or whatever,' when you're doing it, you don't think that. You may know it intellectually, but when you're in the behavior, you're not aware it's bad for you."

For most morbidly obese folks, things have gone way beyond food and into loneliness, boredom, emotional or even childhood issues, Rosati said. The more they eat, the less they can do, so the more pounds packed on for the same amount of food eaten.

The easiest solution: Be aware of why you eat, and stay away from the processed junk the food industry puts out to make it harder for us to stop, Rosati said.

"The manufacturers who add sugar, salt and fat in just the right quantities to keep us wanting more are exacerbating things, because it makes us feels better at the time when we eat it."

ADD OR READ MORE COMMENTS

This is your column. You can help it grow! If you like "Dare to Ask," please call or e-mail your favorite newspaper or web site and urge them to start running it. It's syndicated by Universal Press.

Phillip Milano, author of I Can't Believe You Asked That! (Perigee), moderates cross-cultural dialogue at Y? The National Forum on People's Differences. Visit www.yforum.com to submit questions and answers. Send general column comments to phillip.milano@jacksonville.com. You can also hear his podcasts or watch his TV spots.