Dare to Ask: Agreement can also be hard to find

By Phillip Milano

Question

For a class assignment I'm asking students to shop for items hard to find in mainstream culture (for example an Asian Barbie, a book with a lesbian main character, etc.). Any suggestions?

Sarah, 32, white, Mankato, Minn.

Replies

Well, lesbians as main characters in novels aren't very hard to find nowadays. Just off the top of my head I can think of two: "Fire Logic" and "Wolfcry."

Itsuwari, 16, male, Allyn, Wash.

Non-standard-size clothing - especially stylish clothes for women 5 feet 4 or shorter - is very difficult to find. Sure, there are petite stores or sections at every mall, but selection is often awful. Another thing that is hard to find in mainstream culture: Asian characters in movies or television who are like Charlotte York from HBO's "Sex and the City." Asians are usually portrayed either as restaurant/grocery store workers or, if wealthier, doctors.

Cynthia, 28, Asian, Toronto, Canada

Movies with real female and minority characters. How about any movie where the black/Latino guy isn't either a thug or president of the United States? Or where the women aren't emotional basket cases or rigid? Where all the Asians aren't liquor store owners or math geniuses? Most people don't live either extreme, but you rarely see "normal" portrayed.

Dot, Los Angeles

I'd love to see a lesbian Barbie doll and a gay Ken doll. Can you imagine the wardrobe and accessories and companion dolls?

Shirley, 50, white, St. Louis

Ask your students to find an ATM that does not ask you if you want to conduct your transaction in Spanish. Or, ask your students why local merchants should stock merchandise targeted for minorities when there are none within 100 miles of Mankato.

Cal, 47, white, Lakewood, Calif.

How about a mainstream journalist who doesn't think the existence of guns is the cause of all violent crime?

Ann, 40, white, Kansas City, Mo.

Expert says

We know you readers will want to stampede out now and do all your shopping in one trip, but try as we may, we've had a hard time locating a single megabox store that will satisfy all your demands at once as you shop for lesbian novels, clothes for short ladies and accessories for gay Ken dolls, while providing an all-Anglo-all-the-time ATM to spit out more cash for your sudden non-Obama-resembling president/non-Latino gang-banger DVD cravings.

It's enough to make us want to get violent in a non-firearm-caused way.

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Phillip Milano, author of I Can't Believe You Asked That! (Perigee), moderates cross-cultural dialogue at Y? The National Forum on People's Differences. Visit www.yforum.com to submit questions and answers. Send general column comments to phillip.milano@jacksonville.com. You can also hear his podcasts or watch his TV spots.